have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? info?
 

I have a freind that's going down... i care about this person but cannot really help; because i don't know how, because i like to get a little faded myself, and because i've seen it too many times before and it scares the hell out of me. i KNOW about this stuff... trust me... and she's in BIG trouble and needs help.

i am trying not to be a coward and walk away from this person, but it hurts to watch it happen.

She's been drunk every night for at least a month... likes to do lots of coke and stay up for days... also, mushrooms, x, barbituates, painkillers, whatever's around. lost a good job... can't pay rent... old freinds are abandoning her... she even tried to sell some very illegal drugs, but liked the product too much to support her habit that way. it slowly got worse over several months.

and now sht has hit the fan:

The other day, on the tail end of a three day binge which started with getting drunk and doing an 8-ball of cocaine on the first night of a 72 hour bender: at bars and after-parties, then at home... taking mushrooms, not eating, etc.

A freind and I walked her home from the party and put her to bed- she was incohearantly drunk and the sharks were starting to circle.... but she didn't sleep, she called up some fresh partiers (no one else had kept up). in goes another 8-ball, some shrooms, cases of beer, a bottle of jim beam...

i slept, woke, and worked, then went to check on her... she was STILL awake, pushing 72 hours without sleep or food (beer, though nourishing and tasty, doesn't count) and she and some guy (who looked like he was trying to take advantage of her) were getting set to snort some crushed extacy.

damn. this is even more screwed up than i thought; as i look back at what i've written, I realize i haven't exaggeratted a bit.

So i insisted that she stop. she ddn't like that. she ended up fighting me for a straw to snort with. enough. i knocked all the drugs all on the ground and into the carpet. I said my peice; told her what i saw, what i've seen and done, and what was gonna happen to her.

she threw me out, she was very, very angry, naturally.

she stayed sober for about three days, even went to some AA meetings... but last night was as bad as ever. She wasnn't on coke, but was using that particular abstinance to justify her all night drunken, shrooming mess.

and then

she apologized today and says she's trying to clean up. I talked to her some more about my experiences and problems with drugs (mostly alcohol) and the ugly hole (social, financial, health-wise, and professional) that abuse put me in once. I promised to stick by her and help where i can, or to remain her freind and watch her fall into that same dark place if she can't pull it together.

scary thing is, i think she understands and believes me, but things haven't changed. bottom line: my freind will be lucky to go to jail before she ODs, gets raped, etc.

god DAMN, i need help here, guys. what can/should i do? my freinds... i love my freinds. i am willing to GO DOWN for them, do whatever i can... but i am lost. help?

I'll expand this later on.. gotta run. sry for the buzzkill post.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

have the cops pick her up

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

Hve the cops pick us both up and we can have sex ual into course inthe prison system.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

How old is she? Do you know her parents or other authority figure(s) in her life?

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? info?
 

You can't do anything til she hits rock bottom and wants to help herself. She obviously has more issues that you or anyone here has the expertise to deal with. Quit trying to be the "fixer", its hard but you have to let go. You can try to get her help, but don't go down with the ship.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? info?
 

didn't we just have a friend who's an alcoholic post...I'm sure the same stuff applies

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
have the cops pick her up

[/ QUOTE ]

What will that do? She will go to jail for maybe a few days and then they will release her. Especially if it is her first offense (or even second or third); it isn't like she is a dealer.

craig

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

call these people

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

What a strange combinations of drugs. I think the scariest part is the amount of time this person is staying up. 72 hours is a long time, especially when messing with psychadelic drugs. Cocaine alone causes paranoia, but if you add the shrooms in, this is just a disaster waiting to happen. This person is not only a danger to herself, but if the paranoia gets bad enough, she could possibly hurt someone else.

There really isn't too much you can personally do about it. Like others have said, she will need to hit bottom first. The problem with this is that "bottom" is very subjective. Some people can start noticing that they are spending too much money and decide to quit, while others are on the streets, no teeth, and sucking cck, and still think it could be worse.

craig

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

Happy Birthday

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
Happy Birthday

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you!

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
call these people

[/ QUOTE ]
Funny you mention the Intervention show. They did a story on a guy who was a gambling addict. No less than a week after the show I see him at Hollywood Park with that crazed "I need action" look.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

The problem with this is that "bottom" is very subjective. Some people can start noticing that they are spending too much money and decide to quit, while others are on the streets, no teeth, and sucking cck, and still think it could be worse.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]
Whats wrong with toothless cck sucking?
Actually very sad but true.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
have the cops pick her up

[/ QUOTE ]

What will that do? She will go to jail for maybe a few days and then they will release her. Especially if it is her first offense (or even second or third); it isn't like she is a dealer.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

yup and when she does it again, then have em come again. maybe they'll beat some sense into her.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
have the cops pick her up

[/ QUOTE ]

What will that do? She will go to jail for maybe a few days and then they will release her. Especially if it is her first offense (or even second or third); it isn't like she is a dealer.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

yup and when she does it again, then have em come again. second offense and maybe they'll beat some sense into her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, that is a good idea. Even better maybe the OP should beat some sense into her and then call the cops. Or the OP can kill himself, the cops will think it was her, and then she will go to jail for murder.

Seriously, people go to prison for years and come back out and start using heroin/cock/crack/etc... again. If one is an addict, there really isn't anything the police can do about it.

craig

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
have the cops pick her up

[/ QUOTE ]

What will that do? She will go to jail for maybe a few days and then they will release her. Especially if it is her first offense (or even second or third); it isn't like she is a dealer.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

yup and when she does it again, then have em come again. second offense and maybe they'll beat some sense into her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, that is a good idea. Even better maybe the OP should beat some sense into her and then call the cops. Or the OP can kill himself, the cops will think it was her, and then she will go to jail for murder.

Seriously, people go to prison for years and come back out and start using heroin/cock/crack/etc... again. If one is an addict, there really isn't anything the police can do about it.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i could be wrong but i think police know how to deal with addicts, they have phone numbers to call. rotting away in a cell is probably more common for people that are [censored] up without drugs.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

You are wrong. At least in major cities that is not how it works (I have no idea how it works in Mayberry). What makes you think police know how to deal with addicts? They know how to deal with them at the time, but not once they are sober. It isn't their job to help addicts recover.

Also, most cities, once you are sober you are out. Now, like I said, after the 3rd or 4th time, they might keep you in jail for a few weeks, but even then, what will that do.

Also, why do you equate "beating sense into her" and "police know how to deal with addicts"?

craig

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
If one is an addict, there really isn't anything anyone else can do about it.

[/ QUOTE ]

HB

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

it's fine to post it here, but this is another one where the psych forum (which has actual psychologists in there somtimes) might have better answers.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
have the cops pick her up

[/ QUOTE ]

What will that do? She will go to jail for maybe a few days and then they will release her. Especially if it is her first offense (or even second or third); it isn't like she is a dealer.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

yup and when she does it again, then have em come again. second offense and maybe they'll beat some sense into her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, that is a good idea. Even better maybe the OP should beat some sense into her and then call the cops. Or the OP can kill himself, the cops will think it was her, and then she will go to jail for murder.

Seriously, people go to prison for years and come back out and start using heroin/cock/crack/etc... again. If one is an addict, there really isn't anything the police can do about it.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i could be wrong but i think police know how to deal with addicts, they have phone numbers to call. rotting away in a cell is probably more common for people that are [censored] up without drugs.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your ignorance astounds me.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
You are wrong. At least in major cities that is not how it works (I have no idea how it works in Mayberry). What makes you think police know how to deal with addicts? They know how to deal with them at the time, but not once they are sober. It isn't their job to help addicts recover.

Also, most cities, once you are sober you are out. Now, like I said, after the 3rd or 4th time, they might keep you in jail for a few weeks, but even then, what will that do.

Also, why do you equate "beating sense into her" and "police know how to deal with addicts"?

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i dunno i assume they know how to deal with them because they deal with them a lot. suppose that might not be true. i agree it isn't the cops job to clean them up, but i'm pretty sure they have to report these people to detox places, and they do have to pass some classes as part of their punishment (at least that is the case in my town [eugene, OR just for note]).

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You are wrong. At least in major cities that is not how it works (I have no idea how it works in Mayberry). What makes you think police know how to deal with addicts? They know how to deal with them at the time, but not once they are sober. It isn't their job to help addicts recover.

Also, most cities, once you are sober you are out. Now, like I said, after the 3rd or 4th time, they might keep you in jail for a few weeks, but even then, what will that do.

Also, why do you equate "beating sense into her" and "police know how to deal with addicts"?

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i dunno i assume they know how to deal with them because they deal with them a lot. suppose that might not be true. i agree it isn't the cops job to clean them up, but i'm pretty sure they have to report these people to detox places, and they do have to pass some classes as part of their punishment (at least that is the case in my town [eugene, OR just for note]).

[/ QUOTE ]

Forcing people to stay "clean" does not fix the problem. How long can/will they do this for? The rear of death isn't big enough to stop somebody, so why would the fear of a few months in jail (except for the fact that they won't be able to use in jail).

Police might be trained to handle somebody that is high at the moment, but they aren't counselors. Forcing somebody to get help is not going to work. The person has to want to go clean. Maybe, they should buy here 10 8-balls and make her do them all. I am joking, but these techniques that naive parents think will work usually don't.

Also, isn't Oregon one of the biggest meth states in the U.S? I guess the police aren't doing the greatest job.

craig

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

Thanks to all the serious responses. a quickie reply:

-not gonna call the cops unles i think she's in imminent danger.

- [ QUOTE ]
The problem with this is that "bottom" is very subjective. Some people can start noticing that they are spending too much money and decide to quit, while others are on the streets, no teeth, and sucking cck, and still think it could be worse.


[/ QUOTE ]

bingo. lost job, freinds, savings, home, etc is bad... but sucking dick for drugs is worse... then there's death. she is low enough, imo, on the edge; at a fork in the road, one path leading onward, the other going nowhere or worse. *sighs*

for me rock bottom wasn't all that low, thanks to some very good freinds and an even more powerful addiction taking over (sking- crack and heroin all rolled into one for me). i want to be that freind, but don't know how.

anyone ever been present at an intervention?

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You are wrong. At least in major cities that is not how it works (I have no idea how it works in Mayberry). What makes you think police know how to deal with addicts? They know how to deal with them at the time, but not once they are sober. It isn't their job to help addicts recover.

Also, most cities, once you are sober you are out. Now, like I said, after the 3rd or 4th time, they might keep you in jail for a few weeks, but even then, what will that do.

Also, why do you equate "beating sense into her" and "police know how to deal with addicts"?

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i dunno i assume they know how to deal with them because they deal with them a lot. suppose that might not be true. i agree it isn't the cops job to clean them up, but i'm pretty sure they have to report these people to detox places, and they do have to pass some classes as part of their punishment (at least that is the case in my town [eugene, OR just for note]).

[/ QUOTE ]

Forcing people to stay "clean" does not fix the problem. How long can/will they do this for? The rear of death isn't big enough to stop somebody, so why would the fear of a few months in jail (except for the fact that they won't be able to use in jail).

Police might be trained to handle somebody that is high at the moment, but they aren't counselors. Forcing somebody to get help is not going to work. The person has to want to go clean. Maybe, they should buy here 10 8-balls and make her do them all. I am joking, but these techniques that naive parents think will work usually don't.

Also, isn't Oregon one of the biggest meth states in the U.S? I guess the police aren't doing the greatest job.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

are you so sure that your first statement is correct?
also yes oregon has a very large meth problem, but that could very well be because nobodys getting arrested. that is the fault of the cops, but it doesn't appear relevant to our conversation until we see some stats that many of these people were arrested and then went back to the drug.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

Good point about not calling the police on your friend. If you do that one time, your friend is finished with you. And most junkies don't trust others as it is.

craig

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
Forcing people to stay "clean" does not fix the problem. How long can/will they do this for?

[/ QUOTE ]

learning to totally avoid the substances that cause problems for a person is just running away, IMO. learning how to drink/use responsibly is the HARD part... some people cannot, though. it's complicated.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]

Good point about not calling the police on your friend. If you do that one time, your friend is finished with you. And most junkies don't trust others as it is.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i'd rather lose a freind and save a life than watch a freind die, though... still not calling the fuzz.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
anyone ever been present at an intervention?

[/ QUOTE ]

i almost saw one on seinfeld, but they don't show you that part of the plot on screen.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
Good point about not calling the police on your friend. If you do that one time, your friend is finished with you. And most junkies don't trust others as it is.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i'm not sure maintaining your friendship should be priority number one, if you are a true friend.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Forcing people to stay "clean" does not fix the problem. How long can/will they do this for?

[/ QUOTE ]

learning to totally avoid the substances that cause problems for a person is just running away, IMO. learning how to drink/use responsibly is the HARD part... some people cannot, though. it's complicated.

[/ QUOTE ]

I heard a different definition/explanation of finding out if you are an addict (of any kind) the other day: If you have to set limits for yourself, you are most likely an addict. For example, if you tell yourself, "I will only buy a pack of smokes instead of a carton, then I will smoke less", you are most likely addicted. I could have 10 pounds of pot in my house and I wouldn't even think about it. I wouldn't have to put any type of "limit" on myself. If you put those same pounds of cocaine in my house, well, wow.....

craig

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Good point about not calling the police on your friend. If you do that one time, your friend is finished with you. And most junkies don't trust others as it is.

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i'd rather lose a freind and save a life than watch a freind die, though... still not calling the fuzz.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am not saying that losing a friend is your priority, but when the person wants to stop using, but has a hard time on her own, then you won't be there for her. There are lots of addicts who truly want to quit, but it is psychologically very tough.

craig

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Forcing people to stay "clean" does not fix the problem. How long can/will they do this for?

[/ QUOTE ]

learning to totally avoid the substances that cause problems for a person is just running away, IMO. learning how to drink/use responsibly is the HARD part... some people cannot, though. it's complicated.

[/ QUOTE ]

did you see the south park? it was about alcohol and the quote I like was something like...if you have to go to AA meetings and convince yourself not to drink, then drinking still has a hold on you and you have problems. When you can have a beer or two and stop is when you are in control.

something like that.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Forcing people to stay "clean" does not fix the problem. How long can/will they do this for?

[/ QUOTE ]

learning to totally avoid the substances that cause problems for a person is just running away, IMO. learning how to drink/use responsibly is the HARD part... some people cannot, though. it's complicated.

[/ QUOTE ]

I find this quote amusing. "Sure, I use to be an addict, but now I only smoke once a day."

I do empathize with your problem. An addict myself, I had to find my own bottom and my own way out. And then the desire to help my friends do the same. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. Not really sure how it works. Your friend will be in my prayers tonight.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You are wrong. At least in major cities that is not how it works (I have no idea how it works in Mayberry). What makes you think police know how to deal with addicts? They know how to deal with them at the time, but not once they are sober. It isn't their job to help addicts recover.

Also, most cities, once you are sober you are out. Now, like I said, after the 3rd or 4th time, they might keep you in jail for a few weeks, but even then, what will that do.

Also, why do you equate "beating sense into her" and "police know how to deal with addicts"?

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i dunno i assume they know how to deal with them because they deal with them a lot. suppose that might not be true. i agree it isn't the cops job to clean them up, but i'm pretty sure they have to report these people to detox places, and they do have to pass some classes as part of their punishment (at least that is the case in my town [eugene, OR just for note]).

[/ QUOTE ]

Good god man. They don't deal with them in any way that is helpful to the addict. They process them. The system sorts them out. If they are lucky they don't end up in prison getting raped and wanting to kill themselves and others.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You are wrong. At least in major cities that is not how it works (I have no idea how it works in Mayberry). What makes you think police know how to deal with addicts? They know how to deal with them at the time, but not once they are sober. It isn't their job to help addicts recover.

Also, most cities, once you are sober you are out. Now, like I said, after the 3rd or 4th time, they might keep you in jail for a few weeks, but even then, what will that do.

Also, why do you equate "beating sense into her" and "police know how to deal with addicts"?

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i dunno i assume they know how to deal with them because they deal with them a lot. suppose that might not be true. i agree it isn't the cops job to clean them up, but i'm pretty sure they have to report these people to detox places, and they do have to pass some classes as part of their punishment (at least that is the case in my town [eugene, OR just for note]).

[/ QUOTE ]

Good god man. They don't deal with them in any way that is helpful to the addict. They process them. The system sorts them out. If they are lucky they don't end up in prison getting raped and wanting to kill themselves and others.

[/ QUOTE ]

ok to clear things up (maybe), cops = anything gov they may experience after being arrested. i absolutely agree that police officers won't do anything, but if you go back to the original thing i said, i would have my friend arrested if he was going crazy with drugs, simply because that is a guaranteed way for something to happen, good or bad.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You are wrong. At least in major cities that is not how it works (I have no idea how it works in Mayberry). What makes you think police know how to deal with addicts? They know how to deal with them at the time, but not once they are sober. It isn't their job to help addicts recover.

Also, most cities, once you are sober you are out. Now, like I said, after the 3rd or 4th time, they might keep you in jail for a few weeks, but even then, what will that do.

Also, why do you equate "beating sense into her" and "police know how to deal with addicts"?

craig

[/ QUOTE ]

i dunno i assume they know how to deal with them because they deal with them a lot. suppose that might not be true. i agree it isn't the cops job to clean them up, but i'm pretty sure they have to report these people to detox places, and they do have to pass some classes as part of their punishment (at least that is the case in my town [eugene, OR just for note]).

[/ QUOTE ]

Good god man. They don't deal with them in any way that is helpful to the addict. They process them. The system sorts them out. If they are lucky they don't end up in prison getting raped and wanting to kill themselves and others.

[/ QUOTE ]

ok to clear things up (maybe), cops = anything gov they may experience after being arrested. i absolutely agree that police officers won't do anything, but if you go back to the original thing i said, i would have my friend arrested if he was going crazy with drugs, simply because that is a guaranteed way for something to happen, good or bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

There are other things you can do for a "guaranteed way for something to happen." I mean, the OP can switch her cocaine with rat poisoning. She would most likely never do coke again.

craig

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

i think you're crazier than i

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

SIIHP

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
SIIHP

[/ QUOTE ]

go to hell.

Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in
 

[ QUOTE ]
I could have 10 pounds of pot in my house and I wouldn't even think about it. I wouldn't have to put any type of "limit" on myself. If you put those same pounds of cocaine in my house, well, wow.....


[/ QUOTE ]

i hear that [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]