why does it hurt to lose?
 

Earlier tonight I was playing some hands and finished up about 120BB for the 3hr session. This really didn't excite me much, I happened to have a good run of cards. Then I took a break and came back a few hours later and proceeded to lose 50BB in the space of half an hour. This has left me feeling really pissed off, not because I have lost the money, just because it "hurts" to have so many bad beats layed on me in such a short period of time. I play poker as my only source of income, and although I am a long time winning player, it still hurts to lose. Anyone know how I can get my head around this? Cos I sure don't want to feel this way, I would much prefer to just be happy all the time I'm playing. But the winning doesn't make me feel good, however, the losing makes me feel bad [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: why does it hurt to lose?
 

It hurts because you can't buy as many hookers as you could before the downswing. To combat this I like to keep my hooker bankroll seperate from my poker bankroll so you don't feel the squeeze (or lack thereof) after a big downswing.

Re: why does it hurt to lose?
 

It hurts to lose because you expect to win, and when you lose you feel powerless? So maybe shock and anger against life for screwing you?

It also could have something to do with testosterone levels...I read a while about a study where they measured levels in winners and losers and the losers had lowered levels of testosterone. So it's possible there is a biochemical process behind why it hurts.

- Joseph

Re: why does it hurt to lose?
 

Hi AceofSpades,

I'm actually pretty sure its the lack of hookers too.

Eternally Fixated,
Bright

Re: why does it hurt to lose?
 

It's evolution. Your brain is wired to think happy thoughts when you succeed and thing bad thoughts when you fail. Winning money is succeeding and losing money is failing.

So what you need to do is to convince yourself that succeeding has nothing to do with the outcome of a session. You should judge your success based on how you play each individual hand. Playing a hand correctly is a success and playing the hand incorrectly is a failure.

Re: why does it hurt to lose?
 

Maybe it's just another example of Yin and Yang.

Re: why does it hurt to lose?
 

Perspective: 120BB in three hours is a fantabulous winning session.

70BB in a 3 1/2 hour session is also a fantabulous winning session, just not as good as 120BB.

That doesn't answer your question at all, but it might help to give you some equanimity about your results.

One thing you might do towards actually answering your question is to look at how it hurts to lose. What do you experience when you suffer one of these 50BB downswings? What sorts of things do you think about? What do you feel in your body? Are there ways you want to move? Things you want to say or noises you want to make?

If you are playing online at home alone, the next time something like this happens you might find out something interesting or useful by asking yourself these questions, and by following the impulses you discover as you answer them. You could even try that now, away from the game.

Awareness of yourself as well as your opponents is a skill that can be a great help to your game (to say nothing of the rest of your life). Practicing awareness, even if you don't consciously act on the basis of this awareness, has great potential to improve your game and your life.

Your question, "Why does it hurt to lose?", is a terrific first step to practicing awareness.

Re: why does it hurt to lose?
 

[ QUOTE ]
It hurts because you can't buy as many hookers as you could before the downswing. To combat this I like to keep my hooker bankroll seperate from my poker bankroll so you don't feel the squeeze (or lack thereof) after a big downswing.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're very practical, but I'm much more frugal than you. I just saved up and got a Real Doll. I named her Britney after my favorite pop singer!! I don't know why my girl friend thinks it's weird that she sleeps between us at night.

Re: why does it hurt to lose?
 

If you are the same person who after winning a pot types "JOOP!" in the chat box then I am glad that it hurts you when you lose.

If you are not this person then disregard the above statement.

Re: why does it hurt to lose?
 

The problem is that you expect to win and that poker is your job.

Loosing in poker hurt me too, but if i spend a evening in the casino and play slots ONLY for fun. I expect to lose my bankroll and feel me not mad if my 300 are gone, but i am verry happy if i am up 1-200. Its only expectations that make the feeling. No winning player go to the table and thought about loosing..but we all know it happens