Helping people with their problems
 

How do you guys help people with their problems? I have a couple of friends with gambling/addiction (such as smoking) problems, and have always sucked at helping them. I end up just telling them how stupid they are very condescendingly, and explain to them why they are stupid. However, it usually just makes them feel bad, and they turn back to whatever problems they had. What is the best way to help someone in need? I know this question is really vague, but does anyone have any thoughts or experiances in their lives they would like to share?

Re: Helping people with their problems
 

Do these people actually want help or are you offerin unsolicited help?

Re: Helping people with their problems
 

Also you have to understand the very real power of physical addictions, I don't know how many people who smoke and want to quit but haven't succeeded in doing that.

Re: Helping people with their problems
 

Ask them if they have a problem.

If they say no, wait.

If they say yes, seek professional help and/or a support group.

Or you could jus tell them to go to hell.

Re: Helping people with their problems
 

That's unfortunate that your approach scares them away. That's actually the last thing you want. The first thing you need to do is to make them feel comfortable. Always. From there, just try to be as thorough as possible. Make sure they understand they have a problem. Logic helps. Once they are very clear on understanding that they have a problem, and precisely what it is, reason out a plan to eliminate it. Then forget logic and use motivation. Reason plays little role in the human role when it comes motivating people, but emotion works great.

Re: Helping people with their problems
 

addiction is generally a coping mechanism that is used to avoid/ignore something negative, fear/pain/whatever

so solving the addiction problem doesn't have much to do with what they are addicted to but more with what they are trying to avoid by escaping into it(which could very well be perpetuated by "telling them how stupid they are very condescendingly") if that's what they're escaping from

but it's also wise to try to move a gambling addiction to something else(world of warcraft?) to keep it from being so self-detrimental.

anyway hope this helps

good luck

Re: Helping people with their problems
 

Provide a good example.
Be non-judgemental.
Be trustworthy.

Re: Helping people with their problems
 

[ QUOTE ]
Ask them if they have a problem.

If they say no, wait.

If they say yes, seek professional help and/or a support group.

Or you could jus tell them to go to hell.

[/ QUOTE ]

This seems like a bad solution to me. If I have a friend with a gambling problem, I am not going to wait untill he is sunk in huge debt that he tries to erase by chasing with more playing.

A lot of people are also embarassed to seek professional help, as that seems to be informing the whole world of their problem. Many people are much more comfortable dealing with their problems privately.
Very few poker players will ever go to Gamblers Anonymous, mostly because they think they aren't gambling because poker is a skill game, and also cause support groups suck.

Re: Helping people with their problems
 

Get professional help.

Treating addictions is very well documented. It all starts with the person hitting bottom. Even then, the person may not focus awareness to the problem area. In that case, the bottom is quite aways away.

Refer them to some professional help. That's all you can do. Since addiction is supported by denial, good luck.

Re: Helping people with their problems
 

People can't be helped unless they want it or they want to change - dont waste your time otherwise