Two Plus Two Older Archives - Please tell this idiot how to network a computer...

Can someone please explain to me in dumbspeak exactly what I need to do to set up a second computer to run from my laptop?

I have a Dell Inspiron 8500, but it literally smokes with Poker Tracker [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

I want to buy a Dell 9100 desktop and hook my laptop directly to it.

I also want to be able to run other programs from the 9100. I don't want a monitor for the 9100. I just want it under the desk with a network line running to it so I can access it.

What do I need to buy besides the computer? I have read that wireless does not work as well, so I don't mind running a network cable.

So what do I need? Just a router and two network cords. Then hook it up?

I am running XP Home. Can I just use the Remote Assistance function?

Thanks!