What the hell is wrong with me????
 

For longer than I care to admit I've had a --I guess I'd call it tilt-- issue. It just started one day. I am playing fine and then just suddenly start playing stupidly, espeically in tournaments but definately in ring games. I try to make moves when it's not necessary or I clearly shouldn't, and I just do stupid things. Either I don't think and just act before I even realize what's going on, or if I do think, I make horribly irrational justifications.

When this first started, I was very frusterated that I could not control such a silly issue--I had been playing for over two years and always played as well as I could and improved--stuff like this was never an issue. Finally, after not being able to stop, I just stopped playing poker for two months. I came back to the game, that was a month ago, and the problem is still here.

I am terrified that I will have to give up poker and all my other (+EV--or at least it used to be!) gambling because I am just playing poorly now. I very much love the game and am not getting bored or impatient or wanting action--I play out hands in my head and watch people and such when I am not involved and have a wonderful time doing so. But I just-- I just mess it up and start being stupid.

I can't explain it, I don't know how or why this started, and for the life of me I don't know how to get myself back together. I am ashamed and upset at myself because this seems like it should be an easy problem to fix. I have no abnormal stresses which weren't previously present and I have tried to examine any part of my life which might be causing this but have failed.

Has anybody else gone through this and know what to do, and even if you haven't, any advice???

I'm begging for help here!!!

Re: What the hell is wrong with me????
 

it sounds like You have lost Your motivation ?
Maybe You earlier played more because You wanted to win money and now Your game is more hobby/funny/etc.?
I had earlier this problem when I had steady income and I didnt need the money from poker.

Re: What the hell is wrong with me????
 

Congratulations on stepping up and admitting your problem!

That is the first and hardest step.

Now you just need to spend some time trying to remember the very first time this happened. Was it when you first noticed it, or has it been there all along and something specific (like a bad beat, etc.) brought it to the forefront? Are exterior factors affecting your play?

Don't try to jump back into the level where you left. Play in the micros for a while and when you next notice that you are tilting, stop playing and think back to why it happened. Use the hand histories if necessary and you will figure it out.

Good luck!

Re: What the hell is wrong with me????
 

Thank you both for your replies. I'm sorry to be a jerk, but I'm just bumping this so more people will see it and hopefully respond. Again, thanks.

Re: What the hell is wrong with me????
 

i think people play too fast online. It sounds like your getting caught up in the action and acting before you think. You need to think before you act in poker. This may seem obvious but many players including myself have gotten caught up in the excitement of a tournament and commited a fatal mistake. This can all be eradicated by just slowing down. Give yourself 5 seconds or so before you make a move.

Re: What the hell is wrong with me????
 

This is great advice... especially in NL, when your heart is pumping. You bet, they raise, you reraise, they go all in... theres suddenly a LOT to think about. Don't just go with your gut and jam your chips in, or decide to gamble, don't follow any instant impulse. Take your hand off the mouse, think first about the situation technically, the odds, range of opponent hands etc, THEN do a gut check. Then act knowing that if you go broke you did it with the use of all your skills, not because of emotion or impulse.

Re: What the hell is wrong with me????
 

Reminds me what my chess coach used to tell me.

"Sit on your hands before you make a move. No, literally... Put your hands on your chair after writing your move down and sit on them while you double check everything."

With practice, literally sitting on your hands isn't needed. But, taking your hand off of your mouse is good advice, I believe.

Re: What the hell is wrong with me????
 

I might actually try that hands thing. Anyways, thank you all for your advice; I really appreciate your help.

Re: What the hell is wrong with me????
 

Self-control is not easy at all. Most people just don`t realize exactly how little control they have over themselves.

Carelessness can be extremely costly in poker, especially little mistakes that should not have been made. They add up very quickly and will hugely effect your bottom line.

I will suggest a couple of steps you could take:

-Accept that you will do things carelessly in your life. No matter how much energy and work you spend on this problem, it will be something you struggle with forever. Everyone does. Some people have much more self-control and patience than others, but everyone is impatient, impulsive, and irrational at times. Accepting this will help you make much progress.

-Realize that poker is difficult. Many 2+2ers are convinced that it is a ridiculously easy game that allows them to take money from dumb people. That might be exactly true at $.50/$1.00, but eventually most good poker players get to a level where it isn't so easy. And even at $.50/$1.00 tough decisions come up quite frequently--to those players it makes the difference between 5 BB/100 and 6 BB/100 (or something), but to higher players it might make the difference between a 1 BB/100 winner and a 1.5 BB/100 winner--percentagewise a much larger difference. Learning that these decisions won:t ever all be easy will give you a step up on the crowd.

-Practice taking your time on every decision. Think through decisions that are totally automatic for you. Understand what factors you can compare against each other to determing that automatic decision. Do EV calculations for the decision you made and for the decision you didn't make and compare them. If the numbers are close, the decision probably wasn't an easy or automatic one. Study particular hands in depth and try to figure out which concepts weigh more against others in specific situations. A deeper understanding of the game will allow you to analyze these situations correctly. So then the *rationalizations* you make will be justified. It is natural to say that you made an irrational decision when a play doesn't work out, but it's easy to let it slip when you win the hand anyway. Don't allow results oriented thinking to get in the way of your own self-analysis.

These steps are difficult and take time, but I believe they can help you accomplish the things you want to do in poker. I hope something I've said here will help you. Good luck.

Re: What the hell is wrong with me????
 

I agree. To summarize, take every poker hand you play seriously. Remember that you wont win every hand you play but try to make the best decisions all the time based on odds, reads, and common sense. Try to focus on the game and enjoy it. If you dont enjoy the game anymore, dont play.
Good luck!