Two Plus Two Older Archives - Why am I such a pussy?

Im a freshman and college and I pull a far share of box. I lift weights 5(1/2) days the week and am well to be blunt pretty ripped. My problem is that I reallyyy like girls. Like not lik eI want to [censored] them but I'll meet a girl hook up with her and start talking to her and getttt so into her. And then she'll end up hooking up with another one ofmy friends of be turned off by my [censored] clinging self. I don't why I get so upset about things, I mean if you can't deal with the swings and the beats why the play the game?

More literal. I hook up with a chick on friday night. We hang out during the day on saturday. I'm hanging out with her, saturday night. We are making out all over the house we're partying at bathrom etc. Girl gives me the kiss of death, "Your too nice of a guy, your a guy I'd want to marry you can't be a random fling etc. etc.", we end up making out on taxi ride home. My friend who is a [censored] stud is hooking up with one of her friends on the taxi ride home, all the girls decide to come meet up with out friends. Only my girl shows up. Instantly clearly my girl is into the stud. I'm just like [censored] this go back to my room. Girl comes to apolgize and was like I told you your to nice of a guy. I tell her to have a fun night and have a nice life. She proceeds to tell me to [censored] off. I really dig this girl but still let her walk out my room and just yell [censored] you bitch. Proceed to smoke 10 of my roomates ciggartes and wallow in self pity. This was my problem throughout all of high schol, just liking girls way too much and being too nic,e to them. I am now going to listen to emo music like the [censored] little girl i was in high school. Thinks for litening to my druken whining. It made me feel better at least. Yet im going to get phiosocpal and leave myself with some hope.
"Me as I think I am and me as I am in fact---sorrow, in other words, and the ending of sorrow. One third, more or less, of all the sorrow that the person I think I am must endure is unavoidable. it is the sorrow inherent in the human condition, the price we pay for being sentient and self-conscious organisms, aspirants to liberation, but subject to the laws of nature and under orders to keep on marching, through irreversible time, through a world entirely indifferent to our well-being, toward decrepitude and the certainty of death. The remaining two-thirds of sorrow is homemade and, so far as the universe is concerned, unnecessary. "

Yet even though I have become rational thinking and not controlled by emtions in pooker I still let them [censored] eat my lfie. I'm passing out, please leave lots of posts telling me this girl is a bitch.