Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

I'm going out with a girl for a couple weeks now...and she's probably one of the smartest girls I've ever met for her age (we're both 27.) She can handle any topic I throw at her, including sports, history, geography, p***r (!), religion, and she always has something to add to the discussion. She's also articulate and intuitive (and very attractive...not every day I find a girl like this.)

Last night, she made a comment that I found interesting, to say the least. She said that guys prefer dumb girls. This came from her mother. I asked her to clarify, and she said guys prefer girls that aren't as smart as them...they feel threatened and can't stand on equal ground. This reminded me of an article by Paglia I read a few weeks ago that said guys consciously date girls in occupations seen as inferior to their own, reclaiming the breadwinner title...my inference was that she was also saying that guys look to date girls who are less intelligent.

I consider myself to be slightly above average in intelligence, by no means a brainiac or a genius. Most of the girls I've had success dating are probably around the same level. It definitely makes for better conversation, and it's part of what makes a girl attractive to me (but not as important as sanity or sense of humor.)

So this issue is bugging the s@#$ out of me. Thoughts, comments, anything would be appreciated. Guys and girls, do you consciously seek out potential mates that are smarter / as smart / not as smart or does it matter to you? I know this poll is informal and unscientific, but hopefully the discussion is entertaining as always.

ScottieK

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

I dated a girl that was pretty far below my intelligence level and although it was funny sometimes, it did not make for the most intrigueing conversations. I'm decently smart and any girl I date now has to be able to challenge me intellectually, although a girl that much smarter may not work. Dumb can be fun, but not for the longterm.

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Dumb is dangerous

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

There is a difference between occupation and intelligence. I'd bet that in general men prefer women who have lower occupational status than them yet, would also prefer women who are of similar intelligence.

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

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There is a difference between occupation and intelligence. I'd bet that in general men prefer women who have lower occupational status than them yet, would also prefer women who are of similar intelligence.

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Sounds about right.

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

I think the smarter guys prefer a woman who is equal or a little bit less intelligent.

Personally I can't stand dumbfucks whether they're male or female.

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

I like girls that hover around my intelligence level. My current girlfriend is smart, and especially intelligent in her field (biology), whereas I focus more on politics and things of that nature. She always claims that I'm smarter, when to me it seems like we just discuss my fields of interest more often.

I'd lean towards saying that mothers telling intelligent girls that guys prefer dumb chicks is just to make them feel better.

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I consider myself to be slightly above average in intelligence, by no means a brainiac or a genius. Most of the girls I've had success dating are probably around the same level. It definitely makes for better conversation, and it's part of what makes a girl attractive to me (but not as important as her butt or how big her boobies are.)


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FYP

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

ScottieK,

If she is a doctor, I think I could live without having the "Bread winner" title


Still looking,

lbk

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

Gee, I'm sure glad this thoughtful post included a poll. I would have missed it otherwise.

Anyway, I know I don't want a girl who's much dumber than me. Talking with chicks who are dumb as a post isn't any fun, or at least, as Emmitt said, the novelty wears off fast. Smarter than me? Eh, I'm not sure. I agree, though, that I want to be in the role of the dominant breadwinner rather than being Mr. Utah. It's something I could deal with if I found the right girl, though. I guess I go for a girl who's a little smarter than me down to a girl who's a fair bit dumber, but there's a definite minimum acceptable value of dumbness.

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This reminded me of an article by Paglia I read a few weeks ago that said guys consciously date girls in occupations seen as inferior to their own, reclaiming the breadwinner title

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that sounds like something some feminist chick would say.

eff that, Id love to marry some chick who made way more money than me. Hell if she was really loaded, id change my last name to hers. Id gladly be Mr.Britney Spears or whatever.

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

Tom,

Currently in my relationship I do not have the "bread winner" title. Honestly, its quite relaxing and also awesome. I highly recommend it!

Slacking hard,
Xadrez

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

I'm surprised by the "it doesn't matter" votes...say there were identical twins with one having had an accident and resulting in a 20 point lower IQ, I can't believe some of you wouldn't care...

It looks like I'm in the minority with the 'looking for smarter' option...Intelligence is something I respect and look for in a girl, so why wouldn't i want a lot of it? I'd feel more emasculated if she could beat me up physically than if she happened to be more intelligent.

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Dating stupid girls is only fun during the times of the day when your penis is inside of them.

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

Dating someone not as smart as you as one thing, because there are other things that can make spending a little time with someone worthwhile. But once you're settling down, I can't imagine doing it with someone who you don't connect with on a deeper intellectual level.

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

My thoughts are: why eliminate 98.7% of the prospective date pool?

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

OP - I like smart women, it's one of the main criteria for me when evaluating women. If she is smarter than me, that is OK too.

Xadrez - I always assumed I would be fine with this also (me not being the breadwinner), and was surprised that when my girlfriend started to outearn me (I make a good amount of $ but she really started to rake it in, she's a sitcom writer), I started to feel somewhat threatened. Took me a while to get over it.

Not as Enlightened As Others, But Working On It,
-Al

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Dating stupid girls is only fun during the times of the day when your penis is inside of them.

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I like dating like 4 different dumb girls. It is because they are easy to trick.

If I were to marry a girl, I would probably want a generally smart young lady though.


blake

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

i don't think occupation or breadwinner title etc. has anything to do with it for me personally. i have dated girls on all levels and i will give my own opinion. (assuming all are pretty)...

the dumb chick: makes you laugh at first b/c you just can't understand how someone could be that dense. then you realize you can actually take advantage of her b/c she is dumb and doesn't realize what is ever going on around her. but then her ignorance get old and you realize you don't want to be in a relationship in which you are taking advantage of someone. it sounds good but its actually not fulfilling and you end up getting out of it b/c you realize you two aren't on the same level.

the really smart chick: initially you are stimulated by her conversation and impressed by what she knows. you love how broad her knowledge is and finally feel like you have found someone that you can go to dinner and talk to during the meal and after the meal. you aren't intimidated by her job, you actually appreciate that she is independant. but then you start to realize that not only does she know everything but she thinks she knows everything and argues way too much. sometimes you wish she was more laid back. in the end you want someone that is smart but not way the [censored] out there.

the smart girl (like you): you realize you have everything in common with this girl and its perfect. she is smart but isn't pretentious. she is independent but she laid back and is willing to debate without argueing (if that makes sense [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]). you found the person on your level.

of course there are really smart girls out there that aren't the way i described, but i have been with a number of them that are...i am generalizing.

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I've dated some real morons in the past, and it gets old after a while when you can't have an intelligent discussion about anything interesting. I ended up with a girl that's much smarter than me in many ways. In terms of straight IQ I'm pretty sure she'd run circles around me, but I have the edge in terms of a few more years of life experience to equalize things.

Swede

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I've dated some real morons in the past, and it gets old after a while when you can't have an intelligent discussion about anything interesting. I ended up with a girl that's much smarter than me in many ways. In terms of straight IQ I'm pretty sure she'd run circles around me, but I have the edge in terms of a few more years of life experience to equalize things.

Swede

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perfect.

I'm in the exact same boat. We are the same age, but I've had a lot more life experiences than my wife. I couldn't handle marrying someone dumb.

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I'm in the exact same boat. We are the same age, but I've had a lot more life experiences than my wife. I couldn't handle marrying someone dumb.

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But if she was dumb enough, you could date as many smart girls on the side as you wanted for intellectual stimulation, and your dumb wife would never catch on.

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I believe it was Eddie Murphy who summed it up the best:

"HALF, Eddie. I want HALF"

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But if she was dumb enough, you could date as many smart girls on the side as you wanted for intellectual stimulation, and your dumb wife would never catch on.


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Brillaint [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

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But if she was dumb enough, you could date as many smart girls on the side as you wanted for intellectual stimulation, and your dumb wife would never catch on.


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Brillaint [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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Funny [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Dating smarter / not as smart girls...your thoughts
 

I am insanely attracted to girls if they are more intelligent and witty than me. If she can hold their ground with me in an argument and is decent looking, I will marry her.

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I used to date a girl in high school who wrote notes to me in terrible syntax. she also broke up with me using a note, and spelled "break" of "break up" wrong. it was a terrible feeling.

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I used to date a girl in high school who wrote notes to me in terrible syntax. she also broke up with me using a note, and spelled "break" of "break up" wrong. it was a terrible feeling.

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This is actually a very good point. It would feel much worse to get dumped by a stupid girl.

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Dude, you're right. That totally sucks. In the event I find myself dating a dumb chick, I will definitely dump her before she dumps me.

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Definitely smart girls...My ex girlfriend was so dumb, it was amazing. I felt like every conversation I had with her, I had to define words that were on a 5th grade level...Especially good was when she didn't know what "generic" meant.

But yeah, smart girls>dumb girls.

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Xadrez, sounds like a pretty interesting position, care to elaborate more?

Shant, I second this, also when you are peeing all over them



I can't think of a cool exit line,

lbk

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I want 'em about as smart. Dated one pretty dumb one and for the life of me, I wanted to rip out all of my hair. I did my best to find something tolerable, but that was nearly impossible.

I'd take one smarter than me. I'm sure there are plenty out there...just haven't dated one yet. Maybe that's because they are smart all enough to avoid me.

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First, my GF has a huge head start on me in terms of career progression. Secondly, she works in a field (fashion) that makes much, much more than mine (current/future). Even when I get my MA, I will still probably make less than her as I will most likely work in the non-profit/public sector.

Also, I am a part-time grad student who works full time. My job pays my tuition in full but justifies not paying comparably, and giving decent raises by saying "we pay for your school". Basically my paychecks are anemic in the sense that I make enough to live in month to month in NY, but cannot save or invest.

My GF is willing to bear with me while I do this, and she knows that in the future I probably wont make a ton of cash. For that I think she's awesome. She could care less how much money I make as long as Im doing what I want to be doing. Of course, I probably couldnt walk in and announce my plans to become a heroin sumggler, but as long as its something semi-respectable. Hell, when I met her I was a waiter.

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I'm an intellecutal snob. Dumb girls just get old after a while. They would be fine if I didn't have to hang out or talk with them, but how often do you get that and I don't really want that either.

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OP:

If I was to pick any option other than #1 (Smarter) I would be fooling myself. Women are smarter than me .

No FYP needed,
--GA

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I don't know how to say this w/o sounding like a total arrogant prick, but I'm pretty damn smart according to standardized tests and just basic cleverness and general knowledge. For anything more than a friend with benefits, I naturally want someone in the same intellectual ballbark as me. The problem is that many of these girls are unatractive and of those that are, 90% are argumentative bitches or are extremely complicated. By complicated, I mean really f*cked-up, and they are often very good at hiding this. You'll probably discover this much later into the relationship than you would like. Of the remaining 10%, probably 80% have serious boyfriends who have no intention of ever letting them get back on the market.
I'm not being cynical, this is honest assessment of the top maybe 5% of girls intelligence-wise.

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To quote the Notorious B.I.G...."[censored] I like em brainless, guns I like em stainless steel, I want the [censored] fortune like the wheel"

Not sure what guns or money has to do with this thread, but the first line sums up my view

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If I held out for an attractive girl as smart as me, I'd be celibate.

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im surprised by these results. I would think more guys would want a girl who is not as smart as them. If there was an option on the poll to have a girl who was slightly dumber than yourself i bet it would be winning

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im surprised by these results. I would think more guys would want a girl who is not as smart as them. If there was an option on the poll to have a girl who was slightly dumber than yourself i bet it would be winning

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Chalk me up for slightly dumber than me. Seems to be the girls I like.