Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

This is for those who are as bored as I am right now and have nothing better to do than read a little anecdote.

I was playing at Wynn tonight and as I was leaving I saw the coolest thing. It was about 2 AM and I was walking past 2 security guards walking behind 2 georgeous girls. One of them was acting all pissed and said why do there have to be so many fuking cops in this place. The guard said, because you have a fuking attitude. The girl turned around and tried to push the guard and he just grabbed her and continued escorting her out.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

then what happened?

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

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then what happened?

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Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
then what happened?

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then he put her in handcuffs and showed her who's the boss

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

I was at the Mirage once and this one guy was smoking a cigarette when another guy came up to him and asked him to stop smoking that cigarette. Well the guy who was smoking got all pissed off and was like "Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?", and then the other guy goes "Hey [censored] why don't you just put out your [censored] cigarette before I do something about it!" Then the other guy continued smoking the cigarette.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

I was bored at a 1/2nl table because I was only getting junk. I peaked at my cards, saw 44, sat up and pulled my chair closer. I look up and the guy across from me is staring like 'nice tell, buddy'.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

[ QUOTE ]
This is for those who are as bored as I am right now and have nothing better to do than read a little anecdote.

I was playing at Wynn tonight and as I was leaving I saw the coolest thing. It was about 2 AM and I was walking past 2 security guards walking behind 2 hookers. One of the hookers was acting all pissed and said why do there have to be so many fuking cops in this place. The guard said, because you have a fuking attitude. The hooker turned around and tried to push the guard and he just grabbed her and continued escorting her out.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

One time I was in Vegas and I was hungry so I said to this guy I was with, "Hey, I'm really hungry!" and he said, "Let's go get something to eat".

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

I was playing at the Wynn. I had the urge to take a piss, so I got up and walked to the bathroom. I get to the bathroom and it has a door, so I go in through the door. I walk past the sinks and I find the urinals. Wow, lots of urinals. I pick one with the proper spacing away from the other pissing dudes and I unzip. I pull out my penis and I make with the peeing. La la la la la, time passes. I finish pissing. I shake off, put it back in my pants, and zip up. I walk to the sink and wash my hands. Time to head back to the table I think to myself and I leave the bathroom.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I was playing at the Wynn. I had the urge to take a piss, so I got up and walked to the bathroom. I get to the bathroom and it has a door, so I go in through the door. I walk past the sinks and I find the urinals. Wow, lots of urinals. I pick one with the proper spacing away from the other pissing dudes and I unzip. I pull out my penis and I make with the peeing. La la la la la, time passes. I finish pissing. I shake off, put it back in my pants, and zip up. I walk to the sink and wash my hands. Time to head back to the table I think to myself and I leave the bathroom.

[/ QUOTE ]

How many shakes? Did you use soap?

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I was playing at the Wynn. I had the urge to take a piss, so I got up and walked to the bathroom. I get to the bathroom and it has a door, so I go in through the door. I walk past the sinks and I find the urinals. Wow, lots of urinals. I pick one with the proper spacing away from the other pissing dudes and I unzip. I pull out my penis and I make with the peeing. La la la la la, time passes. I finish pissing. I shake off, put it back in my pants, and zip up. I walk to the sink and wash my hands. Time to head back to the table I think to myself and I leave the bathroom.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you tip the bathroom attendant? Don't make me start another tipping thread...

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

One time I was at the blackjack tables I overheard a girl at the table next to me saying "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college."

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

This one time, at band camp . . .

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

thanks lewis

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

LOL...classic Lewis Black....nice

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

And this one time, I was in Vegas, playing at the Bellagio. I went pee, and was subtly checking out the wang of the dude next to me. It was about 2 feet long, and the size of my arm. Curious who was sporting such a monstrous trouser snake, I sneaked a peak at their face: Alex Rodriguez. Then I remembered I hated the Yankees, hated Alex Rodriguez, and hated the fact I couldn't pee because I'd just popped a ginormous boner.

Thank you.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

Ok, that was unnecessary. Thanks for that.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

I have a red pencil box.

.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

snozzberries taste like snozzberries

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

One time I went fishing and my lure snagged a fishing
line in the water. The line was attached to another
lure...which was still hooked on a delicious bass.

Bad beat for that fish...

-ZEN

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I was playing at the Wynn. I had the urge to take a piss, so I got up and walked to the bathroom. I get to the bathroom and it has a door, so I go in through the door. I walk past the sinks and I find the urinals. Wow, lots of urinals. I pick one with the proper spacing away from the other pissing dudes and I unzip. I pull out my penis and I make with the peeing. La la la la la, time passes. I finish pissing. I shake off, put it back in my pants, and zip up. I walk to the sink and wash my hands. Time to head back to the table I think to myself and I leave the bathroom.

[/ QUOTE ]

You wash your hands? Lame. You missed an extra hand, plus what were you doing peeing on your hands?

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

Being that you are going back to handling poker chips, I think the hand washing is unecessary even if you peed on them. (Unless the Wynn's are actually still new enough to be cleanish)

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

washing your hands is -EV

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

I just remembered something. Has anyone taken a piss at the Wynn recently? They put these like velcro things in the urinals that make your pee not splash and just sort of foam up on contact. It's really [censored] weird.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

Tony,

It is for this reason that I wash before pissing.

Shant,

Splashing piss on your fine wool trousers is so common. Of course they have ways to prevent that.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

no matter how many times people are descriptive in the header, there's always a smartass comment from guys like Shant...gotta love it..

I saw a couple ladies escored out of the Imperial Palace once - but alas...they were not smoking as the ladies you describe.

High class hookers must hang out at the Wynn - assuming that's what they were - you didn't hypothesize -

this is important - no hooker story is ever lame - [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] - they're very entertaining. -

RB

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

Smartass? I was just adding a Wynn story to the thread. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

This one time I was reading poker stories at twoplustwo.com and this guy told a lame story. Then, everyone told new lamer stories to make it even funnier. At some point, someone will slay the joke, and he could be a ninja.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

Oh, man. This thread turned out exactly like I wanted it to. Sweet. Keep going.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I just remembered something. Has anyone taken a piss at the Wynn recently? They put these like velcro things in the urinals that make your pee not splash and just sort of foam up on contact. It's really [censored] awesome.

[/ QUOTE ]
FYP

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

[ QUOTE ]
washing your hands is -EV

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Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

needs more hookers.

RB

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

[ QUOTE ]
needs more hookers.

RB

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Correct. This story should have had a line like "so i followed them out to the garage after the guards stopped following them and asked them..............."

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

well this one time, at foxwoods, i was playing 5/10 pot limit, and all the guys were really serious, and i was the young guy there, and they asked me how old i was, and i was like, i can't remember, and then i pulled out my poker for dummies book, and they all looked at me, and we all laughed, and then i read, and it was really really cool

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

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needs more hookers.

RB

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This lame hooker story is also true.

My first time playing poker in a B&M was at the Trop, few years back. Maybe 4AM.You may now picture the Trop poker room. I am at a 2/4 table open folding AJx from MP when a guy sits down next to me with like 1000 chips. Everybody goggles at him and he explains that he just chopped the daily 20+r or whatever. He might have been 22, Midwestern, pretty inexperienced, but he was throwing money around and the table got frolicsome and loud. He's clearly flush with victory and doesn't know what to do next. We were near the entrance, and so we can see the row of slot machines where players step out to smoke...At the first one sits a supremely bland pasty chubbo hooker and her 1/2 midget Cambodian girlfriend. They both have gold sequins hither and thither and the white chick is wearing short black spandex shorts, over which her wee white potbelly spills, under which her pockmarked thighs are quivering.

The kid starts staring at her like she’s a rock star. “Damn! Check THAT out!” A few of the drunks murmur approval, eyes on his stack. The hooker picks up his brain waves and saunters by a few times like she’s going somewhere. He gives her the eye, but somewhat shyly, like they’re at a high-school dance. She comes up to him. A brief and awkward conversation ensues in which he asks, “Where are you from?” and “are you winning at the machines?” and she stumbles over some lies and generalities.

WTF? Does he have no clue? She says something about his chipstack and he starts bragging about the tournament he just won. Uh-oh. Now she’s his wife. Every time he plays a hand she pretends to be bored, walks away. He starts folding more and smiling at her from across the room. She comes over, says she’s got to go…

“Wait, where you going?”

“Just over to the Taj…Hold on…”

She goes over to chat with the little one. The kid turns to the crowd of us…
“Guys…do you think…do you…” He can’t even get the words out…

One of the old nits at the end of the table grins fiercely and says: “Kid…I think it’s your lucky night!”


The END

Then I got laid and won 900BBs.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Did you tip the bathroom attendant? Don't make me start another tipping thread..

[/ QUOTE ]

Why not? It would be an improvement on this one.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

POTD. I wish this wasn't buried in this thread -- should have been its own 4-star thread.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

I LOVE the Wynn bathrooms. I could live in them. The urinal splash guard thing that soaks up your piss so it doesn't bounce is truly awesome. Also, when it is late at night, you can go into the Le Reve theatre area because it isn't locked and use that bathroom which is also awesome.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

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I LOVE the Wynn bathrooms. I could live in them.

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That's disgusting.

Re: Hilarity at Wynn (Very OT and Lame)
 

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[ QUOTE ]
I LOVE the Wynn bathrooms. I could live in them.

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That's disgusting.

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u obviously haven't been to the bathroom at the Wynn.

TT [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]