Revenge on neighbors
 

I have this bitch next door (I live in an apt complex) that will call the cops at the drop of a hat. If I close my front door too loud, the cops will be at my door and the next day I'll have a noise complaint. It's getting ridiculous because the walls here are like paper and I deal with noises from other neighbors. It's getting to the point where I'm going to get evicted if I make another sound, and it's [censored] terrible living like this.

I want to get back at her, but I don't know what she drives (otherwise I'd key her car). I had a great idea of getting totally trashed and puking on her doorstep, but she'd probably catch me and (surprise) call the cops.

You guys are awfully gross here on OOT, give me some ideas.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

drop a deuce in a paper bag, light it on fire, place on her doorstep. knock on the door and run.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

Have sex with her sister. Post pix on OOT.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

I'm pretty sure the only solution is to move out. Before you go, though, be sure to plant something inside the walls that makes some sort of annoying noise at random/opportune times and has incredibly long battery life (unless you want to run wires to power it!). This'll take some wall patching/painting effort, though. Be careful to rig it up so the noise only projects to her apt.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

get a really thin baking sheet with little edges. piss in it, freeze it, and then slide it under her door upside down. it will melt and she'll have piss all over her floor

or, break a key off in her lock

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

cut her up into little pieces and feed her to a dog?

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
get a really thin baking sheet with little edges. piss in it, freeze it, and then slide it under her door upside down. it will melt and she'll have piss all over her floor

[/ QUOTE ]

Plus that means her apartment becomes your property forever.

Need specs please
 

I used to live in an apartment that had thin walls, and this old couple turned me in for taking showers late at night. One time they waited until 3am or so to knock on my door and leave a nasty note. Pissed me off beyond belief. So I'd like some more information on this bitchy librarian neighbor you have so OOT and I can come up with something original and appropriate (although I do like the post pix idea already stated.)

Is she married or does she have a significant other?
How old is she?
What does she do for a living?
Does she have any roommates?
How much revenge are we talking about here? Merely annoying, epic, or something inbetween?

Anything else you can think of is appreciated. And please don't key her car...I'm sure we can think of something better.

ScottieK

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
but I don't know what she drives (otherwise I'd key her car).

[/ QUOTE ]
i believe you get your ass whooped for somethin' like this.

no need to key her car, thats damaging property. has she [censored] up your property yet? hey, here's a [censored]' splendid mature and adult thing to do, mozy your lazy ass over to her place and talk to her about it. you would be surprised at what this could do.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
talk to her about it. you would be surprised at what this could do.

[/ QUOTE ]
BOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

Re: Need specs please
 

Great ideas, the pee on a baking sheet one is awesome, and so is the rig one.

Scottie: I really don't know much about her. I never see her because her door is really no where near mine, but my living room wall is connected to her apt somehow. I'm fairly sure she's married or some crap like that.

BTW I was kidding about the keying the car thing. I have an RX8 and would be so uber pissed if someone keyed my car I'd probably start killing people at random.

Thanks for all the great ideas, keep 'em coming!

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

do the cops do anything?

if it's happening all the time they are probably just as fed up as you are. just continue to do what you do. screw her. tell the cops she's an idiot and they should go talk to her for making false/irrational complaints.

find out her phone number and call her from payphones at 3am

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[/ QUOTE ]

This should be coupled with whatever other dastardly deeds you use. The cops will eventually just figure that both of you are nut cases and will stop showing up altogether at some point.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

Well, there are like 5 cops that live in the complex, and they just come over and explain how the walls are paper thin and to stop doing whatever I'm doing. They really don't care about my side of the story and are basically only coming to make this bitch feel better.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[/ QUOTE ]


She is absolutely silent. Believe me, I thought of this.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

If OOTers got a hold of her phone number I shudder to think of the consequences. Of course, I strongly discourage such childish activity.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[/ QUOTE ]


She is absolutely silent. Believe me, I thought of this.

[/ QUOTE ]

then make something up. she should get the point.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

I don't understand why you're not at least considering the flaming bag of [censored]. it just might work.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]


hmmmmm, I like it.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
I don't understand why you're not at least considering the flaming bag of [censored]. it just might work.

[/ QUOTE ]

too old school. besides, the bitch has bionic ears, i'd end up getting caught somehow.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
hmmmmm, I like it.

[/ QUOTE ]
used condoms or the idea?

btw, i like the idea.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

no OOTiots have sex though

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[/ QUOTE ]

This should be coupled with whatever other dastardly deeds you use. The cops will eventually just figure that both of you are nut cases and will stop showing up altogether at some point.

[/ QUOTE ]
And then you're free to just murder each other. This is how we end up with dead bodies that go undiscovered for months.

Also, does this woman not have a blog?

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
hey, here's a [censored]' splendid mature and adult thing to do, mozy your lazy ass over to her place and talk to her about it. you would be surprised at what this could do.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey, this is OOT. Rational thoughts have no place here.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

no OOTiots have sex though

[/ QUOTE ]
At least not with condoms. Condoms are for sailors.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
Well, there are like 5 cops that live in the complex,

[/ QUOTE ]

Some sort of anti-cop bumper sticker on her car would work.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
hey, here's a [censored]' splendid mature and adult thing to do, mozy your lazy ass over to her place and talk to her about it. you would be surprised at what this could do.


[/ QUOTE ]

I have. She insists that me and my boyfriend stay up till 3 in the morning talking loudly and slamming our doors.

Meanwhile he works early and I go to school. We do neither of these things and I refuse to stand there and argue with her about my own doings. She has also told me that if I want to stay up late I should go in my (attached) garage and do it. She is completely irrational.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

Move your bed up against the adjoining wall and bang the [censored] out of your bf while you scream and moan (even more than usual). When the cops come, tell them sheepishly that your bf is a bit of a stud, but you have every right to enjoy sex in the privacy of your home. Do this whenever the bitch has company over and all times in between. She'll move out or ask to join you.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
And then you're free to just murder each other. This is how we end up with dead bodies that go undiscovered for months.

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't this the ending we are trying to achieve?

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

OP is a chick, dude

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
I have.

[/ QUOTE ]
step 2...used condoms.

your reply to my post should have been in the OP.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
Move your bed up against the adjoining wall and bang the [censored] out of your gf while she screams and moans (even more than usual). When the cops come, tell them sheepishly that your gf is a bit loud, but you have every right to enjoy sex in the privacy of your home. Do this whenever the bitch has company over and all times in between. She'll move out or ask to join you.

[/ QUOTE ]

You mean my boyfriend?

And yes, this is a great idea. I think I'll try it when he gets home.

I gotta head out for a while but I'll check back later. Thanks for all the great ideas.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
OP is a chick, dude

[/ QUOTE ]

does this somehow make this idea less awesome?

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

I assume you've already talked to building management? They should be able to tell you what constitutes breaking quiet hours...

I can't imagine that getting home and allowing your door to close on it's own is illegal.

If all else fails, cut her break cables.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Move your bed up against the adjoining wall and bang the [censored] out of your gf while she screams and moans (even more than usual). When the cops come, tell them sheepishly that your gf is a bit loud, but you have every right to enjoy sex in the privacy of your home. Do this whenever the bitch has company over and all times in between. She'll move out or ask to join you.

[/ QUOTE ]

You mean my boyfriend?

And yes, this is a great idea. I think I'll try it and post a videowhen he gets home.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

no OOTiots have sex though

[/ QUOTE ]
At least not with condoms. Condoms are for sailors.

[/ QUOTE ]
filthy buggers going port to port.....


and to the OP: wait till she's having company (preferably parents)and have an escort service/ strip club send over some dancers for a girl on girl or guy on guy show.

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

no OOTiots have sex though

[/ QUOTE ]

http://i.somethingawful.com/inserts/...ms/ichiban.jpg

Re: Revenge on neighbors
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

no OOTiots have sex though

[/ QUOTE ]

http://i.somethingawful.com/inserts/...ms/ichiban.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

haha dex, we KNOW you didn't use them. granted, it was your wife [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]