Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Can guys and girls be just friends?

I am sure you have all had discussions about this. I have had many.

I don't want to share my thoughts just yet, but give me some strong arguments as the the way you believe.


thanks
blake

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

research the ladder theory.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

men and women, yes
guys and girls, sort of

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

My closest and best friend for over a decade is female, myself being male. I see no problems with it, except that some of my girlfriends and some of her boyfriends have had issues with it.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

I think it's weird for a guy to have NO female friends.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Yes.

But only if they're not even the slightest bit sexually attracted to each other.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Yes.

But only if they're not even the slightest bit sexually attracted to each other.

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How does this work?

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My closest and best friend for over a decade is female, myself being male. I see no problems with it, except that some of my girlfriends and some of her boyfriends have had issues with it.

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There is not now, nor has there every been any sexual attraction...

her to you or you to her either way.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

I would disagree about the "you can't have friends that are hot" comment.

I have a ton of friends that are girls and most of them are very attractive. If I didn't have a girlfriend and they weren't dating anyone though I would hit up like 80% of them. Social conventions and common sense hold me back.

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Social conventions and common sense hold me back.

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What does this mean? That your girlfriend is cool with it, and it's society that's holding you back?

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Social conventions like 'Don't cheat on your girlfriend'. Common sense like 'This probably won't work out well if I cheat on my girlfriend with one of our mutual friends'. I'm not really sure why this needed explanation.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Social conventions like 'Don't cheat on your girlfriend'. Common sense like 'This probably won't work out well if I cheat on my girlfriend with one of our mutual friends'. I'm not really sure why this needed explanation.

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I thought I was poking fun, but apparently social conventions ARE the reason you aren't cheating on your girlfriend. Let's hope, for your sake, that she doesn't read 2+2 in her spare time.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

A. That conversation ROCKS

B. Social Conventions are the only reason anyone doesn't cheat on their GF. You can't equate love and cheating as being mutually exclusive as a law of nature. I could love my GF and cheat on her if that was the social norm, without it affecting my feelings for her,

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Social conventions like 'Don't cheat on your girlfriend'. Common sense like 'This probably won't work out well if I cheat on my girlfriend with one of our mutual friends'. I'm not really sure why this needed explanation.

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I thought I was poking fun, but apparently social conventions ARE the reason you aren't cheating on your girlfriend. Let's hope, for your sake, that she doesn't read 2+2 in her spare time.

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Wow. You are dumb.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

I can't be friends with anyone I want to have sex with. I can be friendly, but friendship isn't my concern.

Edit: I wanted to add on to this. When you see an attractive person there is no way to be friends with them. Your mind has connected them with being an attractive sexual mate. Your interest will always be in making this happen and while other legitimate relations can occur this will always be the primary subconscious desire.

Anyone who disagrees with this is absolutely full of it. Imagine you are very hungry and your job is to deliver pizza. You understand that you are not allowed to eat the pizza, even though in theory you could, it is just not worth it. That's why you don't. If a miracle happened and for some reason the pizza became yours you would certainly bite the crap out of it.

This is the truth behind male-female relationships between attractive people. The only expection is people who are friends before they find each other attractive (maybe friends as kids or something). In this situation I have no idea what goes on.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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I can't be friends with anyone I want to have sex with. I can be friendly, but friendship isn't my concern.

Edit: I wanted to add on to this. When you see an attractive person there is no way to be friends with them. Your mind has connected them with being an attractive sexual mate. Your interest will always be in making this happen and while other legitimate relations can occur this will always be the primary subconscious desire.

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You're an idiot. So what if you think someone is attractive? Are you so shallow that you can't put that aside and focus on more important things? Any rational, caring person will rank the benefits of friendship above stupid, lame, subconscious attraction. If you can't bring yourself above this, you're either A)extremely perverted, or B)extremely self-centered.

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Anyone who disagrees with this is absolutely full of it. Imagine you are very hungry and your job is to deliver pizza. You understand that you are not allowed to eat the pizza, even though in theory you could, it is just not worth it. That's why you don't. If a miracle happened and for some reason the pizza became yours you would certainly bite the crap out of it.

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This analogy makes absolutely no sense. Why does the pizza all of a sudden become yours? The analogy worked perfectly before your lame "miracle" happens. Any decent self-controling person would see that keeping his job and getting paid outweighs eating the pizza. Exact same for a friendship with a girl.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Straight men cannot really be friends with women. Not the same as they are friends with their male buddies.

Leykis 101. Mandatory listening.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Straight men cannot really be friends with women. Not the same as they are friends with their male buddies.

Leykis 101. Mandatory listening.

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This is, of course, absolute crap. Some of my best "buddies" are female. Even ones I find attractive! Crazy, isn't it? Some of us are actually capable of getting past that.

The problem is that neither the people who can't get past that nor the people who can are capable of understanding each other, and thus spend time yelling at each other and quoting romantic comedies instead of just realizing that people are different from each other.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Yes.

But only if they're not even the slightest bit sexually attracted to each other.

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How does this work?

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lol...

but thats the point I think. in case there is the slightest bit of sexual attraction there will be more than just friendship. not necessarily in the beginning. maybe it takes years...

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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I would disagree about the "you can't have friends that are hot" comment.

I have a ton of friends that are girls and most of them are very attractive. If it was possible I would hit up like 80% of them. Their unwillingness to have sex with me holds me back.

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FYP

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Women can, men can't.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Women can, men can't.

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I love how people make these blanket statements about what people absolutely cannot do based on a sample size of 1.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

I never said it was written in stone. I think it's pretty common knowledge that men have a hard time with it and women generally don't.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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I never said it was written in stone.

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Women can, men can't.


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That sounds pretty definitive to me.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Women can, men can't.

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This is so un- founded.

Society likes to put up the impression that women have better sexual control than men, and to counter- act this argument, I would like to state a study.

A male and a female was hooked up with sensors on their genitals and head. They were asked to watch several porns: male- female; female- female; male- male; animal- human; animal- animal (not porn, I know)

As was "expected" the male admitted being turned on my the straight and lesbian porns, and the microbes confirmed this. The woman said that she was turned on only by the straight porn, but the microbes told a different story. She was actually turned on by all the sex, even the bestiality and the animal sex.

Since your a woman, explain this for me.

This does flow over into life, as well, I have met (and roomed up with) more than one woman who said there was "nothing" sexual, they belonged to such and such, etc, but oddly, she made it plainly obvious that she liked me. Just her blatant words and denial is what stopped me.

I believe that it is possible for men and women to be just friends, and although I have tried this more than once, I have yet to find proof.

ETC: I have several freinds who tried this and they have found that sex inherently got in the way, and I do have a few gay friends who said the same thing about their friendships with women.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

...

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

I'm friends with a few attractive girls and it's never been a problem. Neither with single girls or girls with boyfriends (or boys with boyfriends for that matter). I have a girlfriend and we are in a very healthy relationship.

I think that makes all the differance. Before we were together I don't think I could be friends with girls because of the attraction. Now there is no attraction because I've found my mate. But I have a very low sex drive in comparison to everyone I know, so maybe that's it.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Anyone who disagrees with this is absolutely full of it. Imagine you are very hungry and your job is to deliver pizza. You understand that you are not allowed to eat the pizza, even though in theory you could, it is just not worth it. That's why you don't. If a miracle happened and for some reason the pizza became yours you would certainly bite the crap out of it.

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As a delivery boy, this taunts me almost every day.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Can guys and girls be just friends?

I am sure you have all had discussions about this. I have had many.

I don't want to share my thoughts just yet, but give me some strong arguments as the the way you believe.


thanks
blake

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Yes, but only if neither one has any interest in having sex with the other one.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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This is, of course, absolute crap. Some of my best "buddies" are female. Even ones I find attractive! Crazy, isn't it? Some of us are actually capable of getting past that.

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I would submit that if you *knew* there was no chance of having sex with these women, and if you *knew* there was no chance of meeting their female friends, you would no longer be friends with them.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

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Women can, men can't.

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You've taken a lot of heat for that statement, but there is some truth behind it.

Saw this on a documentary on discovery.
The reason why some men struggle to be faithful is our instincts. Men have an urge to better the chance of having offspring by inpregnating as many women we can.

Of course, human beings developed the abilty to ingore instincts and chose logic and morals to guide our actions.

The point is, the wanting to have sex thing can be in the back of the males mind when its not in the females.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

I don't think they can, any time I've had a female friend that was as close as one of "the guys" we've eventually hooked up. There was no way around it. Then again alcohol was involved in all those situations...

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Of course they can. I'm a man, and my closest friends at this point in my life are women.

The people who argue that if sexual attraction is a factor then men and women can't be friends are simply wrong. One of my close friends is a woman to whom I have been strongly attracted sexually since I first met her twenty years ago, and she to me. She and I went out together for a while, and despite the attraction things just didn't work out. We broke up as lovers, but remained friends, and the friendship has deepened over the years. We still think each other is really hot, and a the same time, we both understand that having sex again would likely be a mistake. It doesn't stop her from calling me up to complain about office politics at her job, and I'm happy to take that call.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Sure but one will always lust after the other.

OR

the "friend" of the opposite sex is your best friends wife or husband. But then if your buddy got divorsed would you talk to the ex?

Men and women have nothing in common except sex for the most part. One or the other always wants to have sex with the other. Very rarely I have found there was not some interest from one or the other.

Come on how many good looking women are true friends with a butt ugly guy and he doesnt want to do her.

Or how many men are "just friends" with an ugly woman?

All my female friends are ex girlfriends or my wife's friend. But then again if they had a falling out... I wouldnt be talking to her. And I'd like to get "friendly" with the neighbor. Mmmm MMM oh my.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Aha see sex is involved. The lust is still there.

Just can't have a friend-friend relationship with the opposite sex without that "sex" word popping up in someone's mind.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Nuns and priest. And now-a-days, ya can't even be sure of the non "sex" part there.

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Its always one OR the other that has the "sex" interest.

Usually its the man.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Yup, true, true.

But seriously you tell me one reason why a man would want to be friends with an overweight unattrative woman he is not attracted to? They have no common interests.

I may sound harsh but look deep you will see I'm right. Of course to everything there are probabilities of exceptions. Like there is a chance Gorge Bush has some intelligence upstairs. Its about as probably as a runner runner straight vs top pair with the straight flush draw.

Re: Can guys and girls be just friends?
 

Dr. Dom #1

I think you missed this.