Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

Are we done with the [censored] pennies yet?

Because it is time. The American public hasn’t been using them for about a decade. They have become so worthless, that people give them to each other as a matter of routine. Get your change, pick out the pennies, and leave them there for the next guy. Need a penny or two? Well, there should be a few there for you, because the last guy sure as [censored] didn’t want his. That’s the game.

I hate when stores don’t want to play by the game. If a store doesn’t have a little tray, I am immediately annoyed. The hell if I’m fishing another dollar out of my pants because it came to $5.02. When that cash register rings up $5.02 and you look at me, we’re fixing to have a long staredown. I’ll return an item before I break another dollar and let you give me three more of the [censored] things in return. And that item probably had a profit margin of at least $.03 to you, so who’s the loser now? Get it? As long as they’re still around, you better play by the game.

If there is no tray, my normal routine has become to fish through my change and immediately pick them out and deposit them into the trash. Not only are they worthless, but they are disgusting. Most have been in circulation for 20 years, and as the stepchild of your change purse, they have been given no love. They live in ashtrays, parking lots, and huge jars owned by 72 year old men who remember when they were worth something. Old copper is gross enough to start with. Add to the fact that they are covered in gum and [censored] and filth, and you need to wash your hands every time one touches you.

Think about this: a stamp costs $0.37. 37 pennies weigh 6 ounces. It takes about two stamps to mail 6 ounces of stuff. Therefore, if I wanted to mail someone 37 cents in pennies, it would cost me 74 cents. By my definition, it’s pretty clear cut. When a monetary unit can’t afford to mail itself, it’s worthless. Don’t get all cocky either, nickels…….you aren’t far behind. (I don’t really know how much 37 pennies weigh, that was just a guess. I have a scale in my office, and would find out, but I can’t. I threw out all my [censored] pennies. Just trust me though….I’m right on this general principal. I know by instinct that they can’t mail themselves.)

Have you ever tried to give one to a bum? Seriously. I almost got in a fight in San Francisco over the fact that I gave a bum some pennies. The man had no home, was hungry, cold, and hopeless, yet when I gave him a handful of pennies, he tried to spit on me. Fortunately, his lack of front teeth seriously affected his saliva-aiming abilities and I easily dodged the projectile, but nonetheless.

Isn’t this enough evidence for Alan Greenspan and the Fed to say enough is enough? I now summarize my case:

1. Pennies are considered worthless, even by homeless people
2. Pennies are disgusting
3. Pennies can’t even mail themselves
4. Americans are actually giving them to strangers, like some nationwide game of hot potato

Case Closed. Please, Federal Reserve, I beg you. End the game.

I’m done with the [censored] pennies.

--Sully--

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

i think a big issue with pennis is that people just keep throwing them into a jar or whatever at home and they arent being used, so the government has to make a bunch more and [censored]. probably costs a lot to keep them in circulation.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

Pennies are the dandruff of our monetary system.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

You know you are worthless when vending machines won't take you. I had six pennies in my pockets the other night and was going to throw them out, but decided not to but didn't really have a reason.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

This is eerie. I bought a bag of pretzels yesterday and it was $3.01. I actually considered coming back to work and posting a 'What's my play?" thread.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

A penny weighs 2.5 grams. 37 pennies weigh 92.5 grams or 3.26 ounces.

For first class letter mail, the USPS charges 37 cents for the first ounce and 23 cents for each subsequent ounce (or portion of an ounce) so you're looking at $1.06 in postage for your 37 pennies.

Thanks to The U.S. Mint and The USPS

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

I agree that pennies are worthless, and the government should consider doing away with them. However....

[ QUOTE ]
I hate when stores don’t want to play by the game. If a store doesn’t have a little tray, I am immediately annoyed. The hell if I’m fishing another dollar out of my pants because it came to $5.02. When that cash register rings up $5.02 and you look at me, we’re fixing to have a long staredown. I’ll return an item before I break another dollar and let you give me three more of the [censored] things in return. And that item probably had a profit margin of at least $.03 to you, so who’s the loser now? Get it? As long as they’re still around, you better play by the game.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are a [censored]. The cashiers at most stores are held accountable for thier tills and if they let everyone short them $0.01-$0.03 they would come up with signigicant discrepancies. I've had a lot of experience with asswipes who act like children in stores because they think they can round prices down when the price is $XX.02 and get all pissed off about having to break a dollar.

There's a reason most stores don't have a penny tray, it's because it is poor cash management and loss prevention policy to have money sitting out in a cashwrap area.

[ QUOTE ]
As long as they’re still around, you better play by the game

[/ QUOTE ]

As long as you want to exist in a society that uses pennies, you had better play by the game and instead of treating people like [censored] when you shop, take you douchebaggery elsewhere.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

Very nice post.

[ QUOTE ]
my normal routine has become to fish through my change and immediately pick them out and deposit them into the trash.

[/ QUOTE ]

ditto.

[ QUOTE ]
When a monetary unit can’t afford to mail itself, it’s worthless.

[/ QUOTE ]

Great quote - still laughing. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
You know you are worthless when vending machines won't take you. I had six pennies in my pockets the other night and was going to throw them out, but decided not to but didn't really have a reason.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is an extremely good point that need to be included in the list of arguments.

[ QUOTE ]
A penny weighs 2.5 grams. 37 pennies weigh 92.5 grams or 3.26 ounces.

For first class letter mail, the USPS charges 37 cents for the first ounce and 23 cents for each subsequent ounce (or portion of an ounce) so you're looking at $1.06 in postage for your 37 pennies.

Thanks to The U.S. Mint and The USPS


[/ QUOTE ]

I knew I was right about this. Even more ridiculous than I thought. Thanks for the freaky fast internetting.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
You are a [censored]. The cashiers at most stores are held accountable for thier tills and if they let everyone short them $0.01-$0.03 they would come up with signigicant discrepancies. I've had a lot of experience with asswipes who act like children in stores because they think they can round prices down when the price is $XX.02 and get all pissed off about having to break a dollar.

There's a reason most stores don't have a penny tray, it's because it is poor cash management and loss prevention policy to have money sitting out in a cashwrap area.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wrong. You don't understand the game. The till is not off, and nobody gets shorted. When there is a tray full of pennies, the correct change is put into the cash register, and it balances at the end of the day.

And I never would expect for someone to pay for my extra $.02. I told you, I'd give an item back. If they play the game, it solves this problem. Everyone is a winner, but it is a ridiculous exercise that can be done without.

Get off your high horse. I'm sorry that you are angry about your cashier's job. I had that job myself once, and the penny tray made everything hunky dory, although pointless.

Good luck tomorrow at the till, and wash your hands often.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

I'm not a cashier. I used to manage a department of cashiers, and I feel strongly about retail workers being treated with respect.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

I really enjoyed this post. I do disagree on one count though. Flicking pennies at people is awesome. And way more effective than bottle caps. When I get 3 pennies, I think "one penny for each roommate." They can even leave welts!

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

They are good as filler when you put all your change at the end of the day in a big plastic "Pepsi" change holder. You can buy these at any Meijer's. Then if you have the discipline to wait til it gets full you can take it to Coinstar. I can never wait though, but I got close once.

56 pounds of random change is about $533.33 in expected value. Just save them like the old men do.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Pennies are the dandruff of our monetary system.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dare you to try to continue this analogy.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

Please send your pennies to me.

I will make good use of them.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
When that cash register rings up $5.02 and you look at me, we’re fixing to have a long staredown.

[/ QUOTE ]

YSSCKY.

Next time you stand in front of me and "stare" at me because I won't front you $.02 (people have asked me to take it out of our tip jar), know that I'll be seriously considering helping you do so.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
There's a reason most stores don't have a penny tray

[/ QUOTE ]

Almost every convenience store I have ever been in had a penny tray. It's a good thing.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

I havent used a penny in about 3 years. Whenever I get them in change, I immediatly throw them away, or leave them on the counter. My life is much better because of this.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

Phenomenal. POTD.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

When I was in Australia, it was nice not to have pennies. On the other hand, they had $1 and $2 coins, which were real annoying.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
When that cash register rings up $5.02 and you look at me, we’re fixing to have a long staredown.

[/ QUOTE ]

YSSCKY.

Next time you stand in front of me and "stare" at me because I won't front you $.02 (people have asked me to take it out of our tip jar), know that I'll be seriously considering helping you do so.

[/ QUOTE ]

YSSSTESS,TKY.

That means You Should Stop Taking Everything So Seriously, Then Kill Yourself.

It's just writing and exaggeration in order to make a point. I'm not a cashier hater, and as I told another guy, I was a cashier myself. I'm about as non-confrontational as they come.

The reality is that I fork over another dollar. My face would turn red if I held up the line while I returned an item or asked a cashier to give me some of their tips. I always drop a dollar in the tip jar, if there is one. Seriously. Every time.

It's not about cashier abuse, it's about the pointlessness of pennies. I figured that anyone who is a cashier or convenience store owner would probably hate pennies by about ten magnitudes more than me.

Now, YSSSTESS,TKY.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

you pay for the postage and they are all yours.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

When I get change at a convenience store, I give all of the pennies to the tray. For some reason I feel weird taking them though.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

Funny post, silly and improbable, but funny nonetheless.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Pennies are the dandruff of our monetary system.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dare you to try to continue this analogy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Savings bonds are the smegma of our monetary system.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

Good rant. Post more.



[ QUOTE ]
YSSSTESS,TKY.

That means You Should Stop Taking Everything So Seriously, Then Kill Yourself.

It's just writing and exaggeration in order to make a point.

[/ QUOTE ]
Heh. Good advice. Some people really need to lighten up.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

An average person (I think the average life expectancy is about 80 years) will waste $405,112.89 if they throw away a penny a day. I assumed you would invest $3.65 every year, earning a reasonable rate of return of 12%. Correct me if this seems wrong.

Calculated Here

Note: This site only allows for 50 years, so you have to do 50 first and then another 30.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

Until sales taxes are charged in increments of nickels, and stores quit marking prices to $X.99, you might as well save your breath.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

Here is what to do with your pennies...

*******************************

Amazon.com Inc. sees gold in nickels, dimes and pennies. Hoping to scrounge market share from America's couch cushions, the world's biggest online retailer plans to announce Tuesday a partnership to offer Amazon gift certificates at thousands of change-counting machines operated by Coinstar Inc.

The deal allows Coinstar customers to receive an instant Amazon gift certificate for the amount of change they dump into a green Coinstar machine, eliminating the 8.9 percent service fee.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

thats a great idea for Amazon

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Pennies are the dandruff of our monetary system.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dare you to try to continue this analogy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Savings bonds are the smegma of our monetary system.

[/ QUOTE ]

or someone else making up a different analogy will also satisfy the dare

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

Welcome Back.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Pennies are the dandruff of our monetary system.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dare you to try to continue this analogy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Savings bonds are the smegma of our monetary system.

[/ QUOTE ]

or someone else making up a different analogy will also satisfy the dare

[/ QUOTE ]

Enron stock certificates are the toilet paper of our monetary system.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

awesome post, dude. Almost written in true Jim Anchower fashion too.

you left nickels and dimes off the list too. a quarter should be the lowest (and only) coin available.

in fact, let's make a poll

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
thats a great idea for Amazon

[/ QUOTE ]

and for coinstar.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

It is also time to be like Canada and go to the dollar coin and get rid of the bill.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
awesome post, dude. Almost written in true Jim Anchower fashion too.

you left nickels and dimes off the list too. a quarter should be the lowest (and only) coin available.

in fact, let's make a poll

[/ QUOTE ]

The jstnrgrs money system:

Coins:
nickels
quarters
dollars
five dollars

Bills:
twenty five dollars
One Hunderd Dollars
Five Hundred Dollars


my alternate money system:

coins:
nickles
twenty cents
dollars
five dollars

Bills
Twenty Dollars
One Hundred Dollars
Five Hundred Dollars

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

americans hate coinage. you expect a 5 dollar coin to work when the 1 dollar coin has failed since its inception? obviously, if you don't print $1 or $5 bills, then eventually people would have to suck it up and use it, but this would never take off here.

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

[ QUOTE ]
americans hate coinage. you expect a 5 dollar coin to work when the 1 dollar coin has failed since its inception? obviously, if you don't print $1 or $5 bills, then eventually people would have to suck it up and use it, but this would never take off here.

[/ QUOTE ]

The ONLY reason that one dollar coins haven't worked is because the dollar bills still exist. (Also they never intended to replace the bill. They didn't mint nearly enough coins to do this.)

Re: Are we done with the pennies yet?
 

bills > coins

i don't want to have to start carrying around a purse