30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

This is some pretty funny sh1t:
http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

If this has been posted before fck you all cause I actually did a search and didnt find anything.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

OK, I thought this would be lame but it was, in fact, awesome.

My Favorites:

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

This is a ripoff of Bill Brasky, but it's a pretty good one.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull."

"Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement."

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

Hilarious.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

These kind of posts are why I'm glad the original Sup Bro has been un-censored.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

another surprisingly funny link. good work today, guys.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

Why don't you send him a PM

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

[ QUOTE ]
Why don't you send him a PM

[/ QUOTE ]

Or his identical twin

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

[ QUOTE ]
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

[/ QUOTE ]
haha

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out solved.

Sub-Question
 

Who wins in a fight between Sup Bro, Bill Brasky, and Chuck Norris?

Re: Sub-Question
 

i've read a bunch about vin diesel that are equally as funny [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Sub-Question
 

[ QUOTE ]
Who wins in a fight between Sup Bro, Bill Brasky, and Chuck Norris?

[/ QUOTE ]

Either William Wallace or Vin Diesel. Not sure.

~D

Re: Sub-Question
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Who wins in a fight between Sup Bro, Bill Brasky, and Chuck Norris?

[/ QUOTE ]

Either William Wallace or Vin Diesel. Not sure.

~D

[/ QUOTE ]

Clearly William Wallace. He's ten feet tall and shoots fireballs out of his arse.

Re: Sub-Question
 

hahaha, this one is perfect:

Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and [censored] on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

Re: Sub-Question
 

[ QUOTE ]
hahaha, this one is perfect:

Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and [censored] on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

[/ QUOTE ]

The funniest part of that page is the constant references to roundhouse kicks

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

[ QUOTE ]
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL

Re: 30 facts about Vin Diesel
 

Re: 30 facts about Vin Diesel
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty

[/ QUOTE ]

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Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

[/ QUOTE ]

that made me laugh

Re: 30 facts about Vin Diesel
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty

[/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ]
Vin Diesel beat Terry Schiavo in a staring contest.

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh man.

Re: 30 facts about Vin Diesel
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty

[/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ]
Vin Diesel beat Terry Schiavo in a staring contest.

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh man.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/3412/shiavo3ba.jpg

Re: 30 facts about Vin Diesel
 

If you asked how many 5 year olds Chuck Norris could beat up, the answer would be simple. All of them.

Re: 30 facts about Vin Diesel
 

slickpoppa - off topic... how come the dude in your avatar looks blue?

Re: 30 facts about Vin Diesel
 

[ QUOTE ]
If you asked how many 5 year olds Chuck Norris could beat up, the answer would be simple. All of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

nh sir

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

Awesome

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris is obviously "The Truth"

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

Good stuff. The last line here cracked me up.

[ QUOTE ]
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

OK I just pumped out a few of these... Tell me which one I should submit to the site.


Chuck Norris has refused to ejaculate until God creates a woman that is forged in his image and therefore worthy enough to give birth to his superchild.

After the World Trade Center towers fell on 9/11, Chuck Norris swam to Afghanistan. He had kicked the heads off of 37 Taliban before he realized that there were no camera crews around and this was not the filming of his new TV movie.

Chuck Norris thinks dead baby jokes are hilarious, but he’s not sure why.

Recenty Chuck Norris has begun taking Viagra, because he hasn’t been getting erections from the sight of fear in other mens’ eyes like he did when he was younger.

Charles Darwin proved in his writings that Chuck Norris evolved from human beings, and that’s why so many people believe his Theory of Evolution today.

When people watch Chuck Norris movies they think they are seeing a bunch of acting and stunts, but really Chuck Norris is killing a bunch of men that he has kidnapped from around the world.

Chuck Norris was considering donating one dollar to Breast Cancer research for every person he destroyed with a roundhouse kick, until his agent told him that he would be broke by Friday.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

They're all terrible except the second to last one.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

All I need is one.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

So not funny. . . .

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris is the theory of relativity.

Chuck Norris drank from the holy grail then smashed it on his forehead.

edit: lame. sorry, I'm tired.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

[ QUOTE ]
Chuck Norris drank from the holy grail then smashed it on his forehead.


[/ QUOTE ]
I chuckled. No pun intended.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

Chuch Norris only goes to parties for two things: Drinking beer, and kicking ass with roundhouse kicks. Chuck Norris is in AA.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris was almost [censored] by [censored] for posting pics of dudes he roundhouse kicked... but upon threat of death by kick, [censored un[censored] Chuck Norris.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

[ QUOTE ]
They're all terrible

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

These are not very funny at all.

You get a mulligan on this one.

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

[ QUOTE ]
All I need is one.

[/ QUOTE ]

Chuck Norris is DERB.

~D

Re: 30 facts about Chuck Norris
 

Chuck Norris has been known to eat 4 sticks of butter, drink Dave's Insanity sauce, and receive multiple belt lashings across his back and he didn't puss out