Some jewish jokes....
 

Some of these only jews will get....

> All we ever hear are Jewish jokes, so here are some Gentile jokes:
>
> A Gentile goes into a clothing store and says, "This is a very fine
> jacket. How much is it?"
> The salesman says, "It's $500."
> The Gentile says, "OK, I'll take it."
>
> *******************
> Two Gentiles meet on the street. The first one says, "You own your own
> business, don't you? How's it going?"
> The other Gentile says, "Just great! Thanks for asking!"
>
> ********************
> Two Gentile mothers meet on the street and start talking about
> children. Gentile mother 1 (said with pride): "My son is a construction
> worker!" Gentile mother 2 (said with more pride): "My son is a truck
> driver!"
>
> *******************
> A man calls his mother and says, "Mother, I know you're expecting me
> for dinner this evening, but something important has come up and I
> can't make it." His mother says, "OK."
>
> ************************************************** ****
> A Gentile couple goes to a nice restaurant.
> The man says: "I'll have the steak and a baked potato, and my wife
> will have the julienne salad with house dressing. We'll both have
> coffee." The waiter says, "How would you like your steak and salad
> prepared?" The man says, "I'd like the steak medium......the salad is
> fine as is." The waiter says, "Thank you."
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> A Gentile man calls his elderly mother.
> He asks, "Mom, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?"
> She says, "I'm feeling fine, and I don't need anything. Thanks for
> calling."

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

This is only one joke.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

I am Jewish and find 0 of these remotely funny.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

got all of them except #2....a little help?

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

Haha.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
got all of them except #2....a little help?

[/ QUOTE ]

A Jew would expatiate on the state of his business......

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

Ya dohn hafta be Joo-ish ta ah-preciate Joo-ish hew-mer.

If you want really, really good Jewish humor, look up Myron Cohen (sp?). One of the funniest men who ever lived. And he did all ethnicities/cultures.

Great stuff. ty

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

> A Gentile goes into a clothing store and says, "This is a very fine
> jacket. How much is it?"
> The salesman says, "It's $500."
> The Gentile says, "OK, I'll take it."

HAHAHAHAHHA

/jew

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

So am I, not even the last one?

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
I am Jewish and find 0 of these remotely funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lighten up a little, boy-o.

They're like Richard Pryor or the Aggies would do/did. Turn around what's aimed atcha and poke back.

Jeeze.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
> A Gentile man calls his elderly mother.
> He asks, "Mom, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?"
> She says, "I'm feeling fine, and I don't need anything. Thanks for
> calling."

[/ QUOTE ]

This is solid.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Some of these only jews will get....

[/ QUOTE ]

Anybody want to translate? I only get this one:

[ QUOTE ]
> A Gentile goes into a clothing store and says, "This is a very fine
> jacket. How much is it?"
> The salesman says, "It's $500."
> The Gentile says, "OK, I'll take it."

[/ QUOTE ]

... and I probably "got" it wrong.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

This thread is great on many levels.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

I'm not Jewish, and I got all of them. Then again, I work in midtown Manhattan.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am Jewish and find 0 of these remotely funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lighten up a little, boy-o.

[/ QUOTE ]

I love how as soon as someone doesn't find a joke about race funny, it's because the joke is about race or they're "uptight", not because it's just not funny.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not Jewish, and I got all of them. Then again, I work in midtown Manhattan.

[/ QUOTE ]

Bingo. I'm not quite sure eveyone realizes that these jokes are still (albeit funny) making fun of Jews.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Some of these only jews will get....

[/ QUOTE ]

Anybody want to translate? I only get this one:

[ QUOTE ]
> A Gentile goes into a clothing store and says, "This is a very fine
> jacket. How much is it?"
> The salesman says, "It's $500."
> The Gentile says, "OK, I'll take it."

[/ QUOTE ]

... and I probably "got" it wrong.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you're really Jewish I don't see how you can misunderstand the last one.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

Oy Gevalt.

The funny thing is that the Jewish stereotypes that these jokes play off hardly even exist anymore.

Except for the one with the two mothers talking about their sons - that one is dead on.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Oy Gevalt.

The funny thing is that the Jewish stereotypes that these jokes play off hardly even exist anymore.

Except for the one with the two mothers talking about their sons - that one is dead on.

[/ QUOTE ]

Italians too [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Some of these only jews will get....

> All we ever hear are Jewish jokes, so here are some Gentile jokes:
>
> A Gentile goes into a clothing store and says, "This is a very fine
> jacket. How much is it?"
> The salesman says, "It's $500."
> The Gentile says, "OK, I'll take it."
This plays on the stereotype that Jewish people are always on the lookout for a bargain.
>
> *******************
> Two Gentiles meet on the street. The first one says, "You own your own
> business, don't you? How's it going?"
> The other Gentile says, "Just great! Thanks for asking!"
>
This plays on the stereotype that Jewish business owners are always complaining about their business.
> ********************
> Two Gentile mothers meet on the street and start talking about
> children. Gentile mother 1 (said with pride): "My son is a construction
> worker!" Gentile mother 2 (said with more pride): "My son is a truck
> driver!"
>
This plays on the stereotype that Jewish mothers think their children are failures unless they become doctors or lawyers.
> *******************
> A man calls his mother and says, "Mother, I know you're expecting me
> for dinner this evening, but something important has come up and I
> can't make it." His mother says, "OK."
>
This plays on the stereotype that Jewish mothers are smothering.
> ************************************************** ****
> A Gentile couple goes to a nice restaurant.
> The man says: "I'll have the steak and a baked potato, and my wife
> will have the julienne salad with house dressing. We'll both have
> coffee." The waiter says, "How would you like your steak and salad
> prepared?" The man says, "I'd like the steak medium......the salad is
> fine as is." The waiter says, "Thank you."
>

This plays on the stereotype that Jewish people are demanding and particular when it comes to ordering in a restaurant.
> ************************************************** ***********
> A Gentile man calls his elderly mother.
> He asks, "Mom, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?"
> She says, "I'm feeling fine, and I don't need anything. Thanks for
> calling."

[/ QUOTE ]
>
See above re: Jewish mothers.
>

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

Nailed it.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Nailed it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nuthin' but net!

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am Jewish and find 0 of these remotely funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lighten up a little, boy-o.

[/ QUOTE ]

I love how as soon as someone doesn't find a joke about race funny, it's because the joke is about race or they're "uptight", not because it's just not funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

funny is subjective. but many people reading this thread found it funny.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Oy Gevalt.

The funny thing is that the Jewish stereotypes that these jokes play off hardly even exist anymore.

Except for the one with the two mothers talking about their sons - that one is dead on.

[/ QUOTE ]

Italians, blacks, Hispanics, various Asian cultures, and whites too [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

I didn't say it wasn't funny.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
This thread is great on many levels.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

laughed out loud...esp. the mother ones...

im jewish.
...and i have a mother.

-JP

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
he funny thing is that the Jewish stereotypes that these jokes play off hardly even exist anymore.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmm, maybe this is just a function of where you live/how you were brought up. For me, most of these are still dead on.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

enjoyed it.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Oy Gevalt.

The funny thing is that the Jewish stereotypes that these jokes play off hardly even exist anymore.

Except for the one with the two mothers talking about their sons - that one is dead on.

[/ QUOTE ]

they're pretty dead on

((is jewish))

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

Why did God create Gentiles?

Someone has to pay retail.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
he funny thing is that the Jewish stereotypes that these jokes play off hardly even exist anymore.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmm, maybe this is just a function of where you live/how you were brought up. For me, most of these are still dead on.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was brought up in a community that was probably 90% Jewish and I attended and had a Bar Mitzvah at an orthodox synagouge. My grandparents were immigrants from Poland and lived in Brooklyn. My grandfather had a shop on the Lower East Side. My dad was a doctor. Those are some solid Jewish credentials. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

I guess I'm lucky that my mom isn't one of these kvetchy women who use guilt on their sons.

I always pay retail.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

If you live and do business in NYC, Miami or LA you will get these jokes. Very funny, BTW. <says the gentile>

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

I laughed out loud. And sent it to my non-Jewish girlfriend. She didn't get it.

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]


I always pay retail.

[/ QUOTE ]

Can someone take away his Jew card? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


I always pay retail.

[/ QUOTE ]

Can someone take away his Jew card? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

funniest post on the thread

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[ QUOTE ]
If you live and do business in NYC, Miami, Chicago or LA you will get these jokes. Very funny, BTW. <says the gentile>

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

...so the waiter goes to the table of yentas and asks "Is anything ok"

[img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Re: Some jewish jokes....
 

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]