How to answer this common female question?
 

I'll save the story as to how this came up and just ask how you answer this question from a girl:

"Would you break up with me if I got fat?"

I think the problem arises for me from the fact that my honest answer is yes, for various reasons (and no I do not think this is shallow, my reasons are valid). So when I'm asked this question, I tend to not want to lie and give the girl the wrong idea. Have you guys ever had this problem?

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

We're still together, aren't we?

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

Why? Are you planning to?

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

You could try giving your honest answer and the various reasons.

It amazes me how many people this doesn't occur to.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

It occured to me. That's exactly what I did.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

It's a loose/loose situation.
If you answer yes, she will think you are shallow and that you just into her looks.
If you answer no, you are a liar and you are going to sound phony.
I think it is best just to tell her that you have never been confronted with the problem and therefore cannot give an opinion as to how you would act.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

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You could try giving your honest answer and the various reasons.

It amazes me how many people this doesn't occur to.

[/ QUOTE ]

You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!

http://www.destinationhollywood.com/...goodmen_02.jpg

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

"Quit asking stupid questions"

The bottom line is you never EVER answer this question. Avoid it at all costs. There is no good that can come from it.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

Hopefully youve already instilled a negative body image into her and she wont ever get fat as shes way too self concious about her appearance.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

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It's a loose/loose situation.

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Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
"Quit asking stupid questions"

The bottom line is you never EVER answer this question. Avoid it at all costs. There is no good that can come from it.

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you can't avoid it if someone puts you to it directly. And if they do that, then your answer should be "i don't know, but there's probably a much better chance of me breaking up with you if you ask questions like that".

If its an honest non-trapping question then give an honest answer. Ask her as well.

"If you gained 10 pounds? No, of course not. If you gained 400? Well, if I weighed 450 would you be as attracted to me?

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

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It's a loose/loose situation.

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If the question comes up, the clothes aren't loose.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

this isn't even the root question though.

This question is designed to make her feel that you love her unconditionally, so even if she got fat, or got burned horribly, or whatever highschool [censored] she comes up with to ask you, you'll still love her.

That's what she's looking for, emotional investment.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
"Would you break up with me if I got fat?"


[/ QUOTE ]

"No but I'd stop cheating on you if you got skinny."

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

My answer woud be that I would break up with her if she keeps asking me questions like this.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'll save the story as to how this came up and just ask how you answer this question from a girl:

"Would you break up with me if I got fat?"

I think the problem arises for me from the fact that my honest answer is yes, for various reasons (and no I do not think this is shallow, my reasons are valid). So when I'm asked this question, I tend to not want to lie and give the girl the wrong idea. Have you guys ever had this problem?

[/ QUOTE ]

"Don't be silly, honey. You're already fat."

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

Good. She understands you or she doesn't.

It's not uncommon for people to get irrational when they are discussing things like this. If this is the case, try to calmly and clearly point out where she is being irrational. If she continues, tell her you're not going to discuss it unless she's willing to look at all sides of the argument. If that doesn't work, tell her you don't like games and to f**k off until she wants to be an adult.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
this isn't even the root question though.

This question is designed to make her feel that you love her unconditionally, so even if she got fat, or got burned horribly, or whatever highschool [censored] she comes up with to ask you, you'll still love her.

That's what she's looking for, emotional investment.

[/ QUOTE ]

exactly, and hence the first part of my response. There's fishing and there's fishing. Asking for a cute compliment or some emotional security is fine, but putting someone in an awkward situation and trying to see if you can get them to say what you want is not, and no guy OR girl should stand for it.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Quit asking stupid questions"

The bottom line is you never EVER answer this question. Avoid it at all costs. There is no good that can come from it.

[/ QUOTE ]

you can't avoid it if someone puts you to it directly. And if they do that, then your answer should be "i don't know, but there's probably a much better chance of me breaking up with you if you ask questions like that".

If its an honest non-trapping question then give an honest answer. Ask her as well.

"If you gained 10 pounds? No, of course not. If you gained 400? Well, if I weighed 450 would you be as attracted to me?

[/ QUOTE ]

Much better post than mine.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

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your answer should be "i don't know, but there's probably a much better chance of me breaking up with you if you ask questions like that".

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I think this is correct. I really couldn't ever see my self with anyone that asked things like this to begin with.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

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....

try to calmly and clearly point out where she is being irrational.

...

tell her you're not going to discuss it unless she's willing to look at all sides of the argument.

...

If that doesn't work, tell her you don't like games


[/ QUOTE ]

Dude have you ever talked to a woman? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
"Quit asking stupid questions"

The bottom line is you never EVER answer this question. Avoid it at all costs. There is no good that can come from it.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is so very correct. Never answer these trap questions. Not even if your balls are in a vise.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Quit asking stupid questions"

The bottom line is you never EVER answer this question. Avoid it at all costs. There is no good that can come from it.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is so very correct. Never answer these trap questions. Not even if your balls are in a vise.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

ther answer is yes, and there's nothing wrong with saying it.

Tell her, "If you got fat, that would tell me you have no respect for either yourself, or my feelings and desires. Physical attraction is just as important as any other part of a relationship - if we no long er felt physically attracted to one another, all we would be is friends, right? And If you were to get fat, that would tell me you no longer care if I find you attractive, and that would be extremely hurtful to me. I mean, what would that say about how you felt about me?? So yes, I would break up with you if you got fat."

Something like that. Women need to KNOW how important looks are to guys.

Or, you could always reverse the question: "Would you break-up with me if I got fat?" Or, "Would you break-up with me if I lost my job, or wanted to become a video-store clerk for the rest of my life?"

There are many ways to answer this question - and be truthful.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

So what's the deal with your OOT column?

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

I always turn it around on them. I would ask if she would leave me if I got fat.

Never works, but this is what I would do.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

....

try to calmly and clearly point out where she is being irrational.

...

tell her you're not going to discuss it unless she's willing to look at all sides of the argument.

...

If that doesn't work, tell her you don't like games


[/ QUOTE ]

Dude have you ever talked to a woman? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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It reminds me of the only good line from the movie As Good As It Gets. For those who haven't seen it, Jack Nicholson is an author of women's novels. He's asked by a fan how he writes women's roles so well. His answer is "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

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"Would you break up with me if I got fat?"

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How fat are we talking here?

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

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"Would you break up with me if I got fat?"

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I thought we broke up last week.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

LOL....I don't know....if a Mod wants me to try it, I will...I am a professional writer, after all....

Or maybe just an "Ask Dominic" thread that's only about relationships/sex/etc.

I'm game.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

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[ QUOTE ]
"Would you break up with me if I got fat?"


[/ QUOTE ]

"No but I'd stop cheating on you if you got skinny."

[/ QUOTE ]

This is my favorite answer in the thread. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

if i was a guy...and a girl said that to me....

id tell them to stop being so insecure...

if guys ask an equivalent statement to me id look at them and walk out the door...end of relationship

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

"No, of course not."

You of course need to have mastered faking sincerity.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
LOL....I don't know....if a Mod wants me to try it, I will...I am a professional writer, after all....

Or maybe just an "Ask Dominic" thread that's only about relationships/sex/etc.

I'm game.

[/ QUOTE ]

You could do it in a "dear bison..." monthly type of format. I think the mods would dig it, since it would also help consolidate a lot of questions into one thread.

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

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if i was a guy...and a girl said that to me....

id tell them to stop being so insecure...

if guys ask an equivalent statement to me id look at them and walk out the door...end of relationship

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey!!! Wait a minute. If you asked a guy that, you'd expect them to tell you not to be so insecure. But if a guy asked you that, you'd walk out on them. You gotta elaborate a little. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
if i was a guy...and a girl said that to me....

id tell them to stop being so insecure...

if guys ask an equivalent statement to me id look at them and walk out the door...end of relationship

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey!!! Wait a minute. If you asked a guy that, you'd expect them to tell you not to be so insecure. But if a guy asked you that, you'd walk out on them. You gotta elaborate a little. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

hehe, i was wondering if anyone else would pick up on that...

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
"No, of course not."

You of course need to have mastered faking sincerity.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've been with the same girl for 9 years. Believe me, I can fake sincerity with the best of them. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
if i was a guy...and a girl said that to me....

id tell them to stop being so insecure...

if guys ask an equivalent statement to me id look at them and walk out the door...end of relationship

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey!!! Wait a minute. If you asked a guy that, you'd expect them to tell you not to be so insecure. But if a guy asked you that, you'd walk out on them. You gotta elaborate a little. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

if the guy has no issues with his girl being insecure then thats his deal (he doesnt have to leave her)...if someone im with is insecure im out the door

i mearly pointed out it was an insecurity issue to me....me leaving them is what i would do, what they chose to do with thier psycho is thier problem

clearer?

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
if i was a guy...and a girl said that to me....

id tell them to stop being so insecure...

if guys ask an equivalent statement to me id look at them and walk out the door...end of relationship

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey!!! Wait a minute. If you asked a guy that, you'd expect them to tell you not to be so insecure. But if a guy asked you that, you'd walk out on them. You gotta elaborate a little. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

if the guy has no issues with his girl being insecure then thats his deal (he doesnt have to leave her)...if someone im with is insecure im out the door

[/ QUOTE ]

ok but i think the confusion there peachy was that you said if you were a guy, you wouldn't leave, but as a girl you would...

Re: How to answer this common female question?
 

[ QUOTE ]
if i was a guy...and a girl said that to me....

id tell them to stop being so insecure...

if guys ask an equivalent statement to me id look at them and walk out the door...end of relationship

[/ QUOTE ]

You're so hard-core, peachy.