Post Better Jokes
 

Post the most offensive, racist, sexist jokes you know.

"If she can crawl... she's already in the right position."

Re: Post Better Jokes
 

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Wash the dishes or I will kick you in the vag.

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[ QUOTE ]
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

[/ QUOTE ]

Nothing, you've already told her twice.

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Whats the difference between a [insert minority here] guy and a pizza?

<font color="white"> A pizza can feed a family of four </font>

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Why is a woman's [censored] so close to her [censored]?

So when she's drunk, you can carry her home like a 6-pack.

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[ QUOTE ]
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Wash the dishes or I will kick you in the vag.

[/ QUOTE ]

gold, jerry

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Why is it a tragedy when 3 (insert race here) guys drive over a cliff?

<font color="white"> The car seated 5 </font>

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What looks good around a [whatever]'s neck?

A rottweiler

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Why do Brides wear white?
-So the dishwasher matches the refrigerator

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she didn't listen the first 2 times.

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Wow that joke is so like... 5 posts ago.

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Jesse Jackson

Jesse Jackson, while visiting a primary school class, found himself in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks the Rev. Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy."

So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.

"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Rev. Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Rev. Jackson were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

polltard

Re: Post Better Jokes
 

What do you call the useless flabby part surrounding the vagina?


The chick.

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Why do flies have wings?


So they can beat the Italians to the dump.

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So a pedophile is leading a small weeping girl into the dark woods one night. He looks down and says:

"Why are you scared, I'm the one that has to walk out of here alone..."

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What's better than getting the silver medal in the Special Olympics?

<font color="white"> Not being retarded. </font>

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Why do women close their eyes during sex?

<font color="white">They can't stand to see a man have a good time. </font>

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What's worse than a male chauvinist?
<font color="white">A women who won't do what she's told. </font>

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How do you starve a [insert minority here] guy?

<font color="white"> Hide his food stamps under his work boots </font>

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How many men does it take to open a beer?
<font color="white"> None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. </font>

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Why is it called PMS?
<font color="white">Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. </font>

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How do you make your wife/gf cry when you're having sex ?

<font color="white"> call her </font>

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How does a woman change a light bulb?

<font color="white">She just holds on to it, and the world revolves around her. </font>

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What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

<font color="white"> she gagged </font>

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What's the difference between a child molester and a greyhound?

<font color="white"> the greyhound waits until the hare is out of the box </font>

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What do all battered women have in common?
<font color="white"> None of them know when to shut the f*** up! </font>

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How do most men define marriage?

<font color="white"> A very expensive way to get your laundry done free. </font>

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What's the first thing a battered woman does after getting out of the woman's shelter?

<font color="white"> the dishes, if she knows what's good for her. </font>

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What did I do when my wife's credit card was stolen?

<font color="white">Nothing. The thief was spending less than she did. </font>

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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

<font color="white"> A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
</font>

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Why did God give women yeast infections?

<font color="white"> So they can know what it's like to live with an irritating c*nt.</font>

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A man is taking a shower with his 6 year old daughter when she asks,
"Daddy, what's that between your legs?"
"That's a Penis, honey." He replied
"When am I gonna get one of those?" she asked innocently.

"As soon as Mommy goes to the Mall."

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a pizza can feed a family of 4

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How do you mkake my wife's eyes twinkle?

<font color="white">Shine a flashlight in her ear. </font>

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

<font color="white"> because they're ugly and they stink. </font>

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not being in the special olympics

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How many people does it take to carry a *Racial Slur* coffin? Two. A trash can only has 2 handles

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Putting the punch line in white just makes this thread PITA to read.

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I heard this one on www.thepokerforum.com

How does a mother from West Virginia know her daughter is having her period?

<font color="white">She can taste it on her son's penis!</font>

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<font color="white">Learn to read the white text. </font>