Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

"Careful. We don't want to make a little 'Eva'"

Her name was Eva, BTW.

I had to stop right there - no condoms, no way of getting any.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

"Do you love me?"

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

"I don't normally do this..."

And my all-time favourite...

"We'll have to be quiet, my parents are in the bedroom below this room..."


Edit to add:

I have also had..."How many people have you slept with...?", just before entering...

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

All these are all-time classics. Thank god, I'm over forty now and don't have to listen to this crap any longer because either the women are old enough to know better or the younger ones have the natural instinct to know that this crap doesn't fly with me.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

"Is it in yet?"

"you can 'F' me; just don't breathe on me"

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
"Is it in yet?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Was it? I mean in yet. If it was that would be very insulting.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Is it in yet?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Was it? I mean in yet. If it was that would be very insulting.

[/ QUOTE ]

I took it to mean he found out, and the worse possible moment, she was such a loosey she didn't even know if it was in.

But the 'very small winkie' interpretation is just as funny.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

My friend- Hold on, let me put on a condum.
Her- Oh, you're one of "those" guys.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
My friend- Hold on, let me put on a condum.
Her- Oh, you're one of "those" guys.

[/ QUOTE ]
Ah, man I gotta stop drinking fizzy stuff while I read these boards. Just got pepsinosed (again).

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

"Say my name"


Unfortunately, I was:
A) Wasted
B) Wrong

C) Leaving... [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

I had a girl ask me her name before while she climbing ontop of me. Did you do like me and just take a random guess hoping to miraculously get it right?

BTW I was wrong. Still hit it though

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

I heard this last night when me and the 5-6 other people who were at the house walked in right after 2 people were done boning.

"What just happened"
"We had sex"
"Bullshit, I didn't feel anything"

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My friend- Hold on, let me put on a condum.
Her- Oh, you're one of "those" guys.

[/ QUOTE ]
Ah, man I gotta stop drinking fizzy stuff while I read these boards. Just got pepsinosed (again).

[/ QUOTE ]

No, you didn't. Stop saying this [censored].

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Say my name"


Unfortunately, I was:
A) Wasted
B) Wrong

C) Leaving... [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I had a girl ask me her name before while she climbing ontop of me. Did you do like me and just take a random guess hoping to miraculously get it right?

BTW I was wrong. Still hit it though


[/ QUOTE ]

Of course you have to throw a name out, but I tried dancing around the issue a little first.

I did not share your luck with my incorectness...

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

Do what I used to, just call them 'honey', all of them, straight away. That way you don't end up calling Susan 'Helen', or Jenny 'Waynetta' etc etc

I still call my wife 'Honey', just in case [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
BTW I was wrong. Still hit it though

[/ QUOTE ]

How drunk was she?

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
BTW I was wrong. Still hit it though

[/ QUOTE ]

How drunk was she?

[/ QUOTE ]

I have laughed off quite a few of these. Most girls realize how drunk they must be to be hooking up with a guy that drunk, they no longer care.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
I have laughed off quite a few of these. Most girls realize how drunk they must be to be hooking up with a guy that drunk, they no longer care.

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course this is true. The girl drunk with the intention of hooking with a guy she barely knew. The guy got drunk with the intention of hooking up with a girl he wouldn't do if he could see straight. Who cares about names? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
"Is it in yet?"

[/ QUOTE ]

What do you mean is it in? I'm already done.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

you win

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
BTW I was wrong. Still hit it though

[/ QUOTE ]

How drunk was she?

[/ QUOTE ]

Drunk enough to think that we were at some club together dancing earlier in the night. I didn't correct her. I figured she likely already made out with that other dude she thought was me. It was like getting intentionally walked to first base.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

You know...you're a lot smaller than your father.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

Don't you dare throw up on my clean sheets.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]

That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]

That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what it means. Gross is a state of mind, though.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]
That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

There was no parting of the Red Sea that night. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]
That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

There was no parting of the Red Sea that night. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Gross! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]

That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what it means. Gross is a state of mind, though.

[/ QUOTE ]

The towel/sex isn't gross.

It is gross that she has a red towel for it specifically meaning she washes and keeps it.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]

That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what it means. Gross is a state of mind, though.

[/ QUOTE ]

The towel/sex isn't gross.

It is gross that she has a red towel for it specifically meaning she washes and keeps it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think they all do.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
"Hold on, I have to go poop real fast..."

[/ QUOTE ]
You win.

Did you still hit it after that?

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've heard that one too. I've also heard, "Here put this red towel under my ass."

[/ QUOTE ]
That's [censored] gross if it means what I think it means.

[/ QUOTE ]

There was no parting of the Red Sea that night. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends. If it's some girl I picked up in a bar that night, I'd say it was a deal breaker. If it's a girlfriend, etc. Then no problem.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends. If it's some girl I picked up in a bar that night, I'd say it was a deal breaker. If it's a girlfriend, etc. Then no problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow...just wow. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
Worst thing you've heard just as you're mounting up

[/ QUOTE ]

muffled screams

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends. If it's some girl I picked up in a bar that night, I'd say it was a deal breaker. If it's a girlfriend, etc. Then no problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Darth vader]Impressive[/darth vader]. What did you do with it then?

Actually, I've had two girlies tell me getting to the happy ending relieved their period pains.

Maybe there's a pick-up line buried in there somewhere - you just gotta look out for the bloated, cranky ones...

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

OH MY GOD THAT IS THE GROSSES THING I'VE EVER HEARD

http://edition.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/Movie...ly.madison.jpg

Re: Worst thing you\'ve heard just as you\'re mounting up
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've never had a problem with this personally. Other than changing position is out.

[/ QUOTE ]

It depends. If it's some girl I picked up in a bar that night, I'd say it was a deal breaker. If it's a girlfriend, etc. Then no problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ive pulled the tampon out myself on a girl I never banged before.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Darth vader]Impressive[/darth vader]

In fact, I've had two girlies tell me getting to the happy ending relieved their period pains.

Maybe there's a pick-up line buried in there somewhere - you just gotta look out for the bloated, cranky ones...

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly why I have no problem with it. Usually some extra excitement then.