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-   -   OOT I need your help (http://archives2.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=326816)

Shajen 08-31-2005 03:17 PM

OOT I need your help
 
A co-worker just walked into my cube and busted ass.

It reeks so bad.

How can I get him back?

(NOTE: suggestions of illegal activities or activities that could get me fired will be ignored)

tbach24 08-31-2005 03:17 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
When you order taco bell with him, bring back mild sauce

Patrick del Poker Grande 08-31-2005 03:18 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
I believe we're looking for the cropduster here?

kerssens 08-31-2005 03:18 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Make hilarity ensue....hope this helps.

codewarrior 08-31-2005 03:19 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Offer him a chocolate covered pretzel.

Sponger15SB 08-31-2005 03:20 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Prick him with a blood soaked needle of someone with AIDS

Shajen 08-31-2005 03:21 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
I believe we're looking for the cropduster here?

[/ QUOTE ]

Crop duster is a no go. This is war dude.

He walked in, asked me a question and lifted his [censored] left leg.

The bastard.

Patrick del Poker Grande 08-31-2005 03:21 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Tie two cats together by their tails and release them in his cube/office.

xadrez 08-31-2005 03:22 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
SIIHP, "H" being "His"

jakethebake 08-31-2005 03:22 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Remove the screws that hold his chair together.

People falling on their ass is always funny.

durron597 08-31-2005 03:23 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
At the risk of being self-referential, there are plenty of good ideas in here

Another possibility would be to go to the lunchroom/kitchen/whatever, take the garbage bag and put it in his desk.

The Armchair 08-31-2005 03:24 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Frozen fish in drawer.

Shajen 08-31-2005 03:28 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
Prick him with a blood soaked needle of someone with AIDS

[/ QUOTE ]

Remind me not to piss you off.

Patrick del Poker Grande 08-31-2005 03:29 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Seriously... two cats... tie their tails together... release in his cube.

steelcmg 08-31-2005 03:31 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Take a crap in a sandwich bag and throw it at him.

jakethebake 08-31-2005 03:31 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Have a male stripper come to his office.

Shajen 08-31-2005 03:32 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
Seriously... two cats... tie their tails together... release in his cube.

[/ QUOTE ]

Cant do it man. I'm an animal lover.

http://selfdestruct.net/kitties/cat_0103.jpg

OH, I THINK I GOT IT.

I'll stink-palm him. Unless someone can come up with something better, this is what I'm going with.

Patrick del Poker Grande 08-31-2005 03:32 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
I'll stink-palm him. Unless someone can come up with something better, this is what I'm going with.

[/ QUOTE ]
I like how you think (aside from your refusal to tie two cats together).

Soul Daddy 08-31-2005 03:32 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Go to his home and leave him an upper decker.

The Armchair 08-31-2005 03:35 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
Frozen fish in drawer.

[/ QUOTE ]

How is getting your hand stanky-assed better than this idea?!

Patrick del Poker Grande 08-31-2005 03:36 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Frozen fish in drawer.

[/ QUOTE ]

How is getting your hand stanky-assed better than this idea?!

[/ QUOTE ]
It's a bit complicated.

Shajen 08-31-2005 03:37 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
Go to his home and leave him an upper decker.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey now, he didn't make a pass at my wife or something.

No reason to get all crazy man.

asofel 08-31-2005 03:38 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
find a link to one of those pages that has javascript popups of tubgirl etc opening at 50 per second...turn his volume up...set his homepage to this url....close his browsers....voila...

Shajen 08-31-2005 03:39 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
find a link to one of those pages that has javascript popups of tubgirl etc opening at 50 per second...turn his volume up...set his homepage to this url....close his browsers....voila...

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm...this is deviant. I like it. But no. No tubgirl for him. Besides, it's probably his thing anyway.

kipin 08-31-2005 03:40 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Install this on his pc.

The Armchair 08-31-2005 03:42 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Frozen fish in drawer.

[/ QUOTE ]

How is getting your hand stanky-assed better than this idea?!

[/ QUOTE ]
It's a bit complicated.

[/ QUOTE ]

Go to supermarket.
Buy frozen fish.
Put in guy's desk drawer.
Wait two days.
Profit.

Patrick del Poker Grande 08-31-2005 03:43 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Frozen fish in drawer.

[/ QUOTE ]

How is getting your hand stanky-assed better than this idea?!

[/ QUOTE ]
It's a bit complicated.

[/ QUOTE ]

Go to supermarket.
Buy frozen fish.
Put in guy's desk drawer.
Wait two days.
Profit.

[/ QUOTE ]
No, I meant that the reasons for stinkpalm being better are complicated.

The Armchair 08-31-2005 03:44 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Make

http://www.whattheheck.com/crash.gif

his background, and watch as he reboots constantly.

It'll probably take him a half-hour before he realizes that
a) he almost certainly doesn't even have Netscape on his computer and
b) that gif is from Win 95.

stabn 08-31-2005 03:48 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'll stink-palm him. Unless someone can come up with something better, this is what I'm going with.

[/ QUOTE ]
I like how you think (aside from your refusal to tie two cats together).

[/ QUOTE ]

I was going to mention the stink palm, but i think the wet willy may be better. It is rarely seen past the 3rd grade playground which makes it a really unexpected response.

Shajen 08-31-2005 03:48 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
I've done something similiar before.

Took a screen shot of a person's desktop, made it their background and deleted all their icons except for the few you can't.

Good times.

Los Feliz Slim 08-31-2005 03:50 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Posing as him, call the Church of Scientology and/or Latter Day Saints and express great interest in pursuing their philosophy. Give them his work and home phone numbers and addresses.

ClassicBob 08-31-2005 03:54 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
Prick him with a blood soaked needle of someone with AIDS

[/ QUOTE ]

Adebisi is a stone cold badass.

ThaSaltCracka 08-31-2005 03:56 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
good luck man!

asofel 08-31-2005 03:57 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
find a link to one of those pages that has javascript popups of tubgirl etc opening at 50 per second...turn his volume up...set his homepage to this url....close his browsers....voila...

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm...this is deviant. I like it. But no. No tubgirl for him. Besides, it's probably his thing anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

hahah...well the first time someone ever got me with one of these, it was actually a gayporn type setup...and an audio clip would play "I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORN", looped. Perhaps this would be less shocking?

Pocket Trips 08-31-2005 04:01 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
Posing as him, call the Church of Scientology and/or Latter Day Saints and express great interest in pursuing their philosophy. Give them his work and home phone numbers and addresses.

[/ QUOTE ]


the basic premise is good but him recieving emails at work from a fine upstanding organization such as NAMBLA would be great [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

jakethebake 08-31-2005 04:02 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
Post the guys e-mail address and we'll all sign him up for something different. NAMBLA, Scientology, whatever...

codewarrior 08-31-2005 04:03 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
See fourth reply down from the top. I have got to start saying what I mean rather thasn make movie references.

Patrick del Poker Grande 08-31-2005 04:16 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
[ QUOTE ]
Make

http://www.whattheheck.com/crash.gif

his background, and watch as he reboots constantly.

It'll probably take him a half-hour before he realizes that
a) he almost certainly doesn't even have Netscape on his computer and
b) that gif is from Win 95.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is good. In the summer of 2000, I had an internship at an engineering software development company. The whole office was set up on a unix network. We all had fun pranking each other. We would develop scripts that would pop up a picture on the person's screen and start blaring whatever audio file we wanted... by the end of the summer, we had figured out how to control the volume and lock the person completely out of the computer for however long we wanted so they couldn't just get rid of it real quick. 'Twas lots of fun with various Backstreet Boys material, as well as a picture of a rather large intern who showed up to work on Halloween as a baby in nothing but a diaper to the tune of "I'm Too Sexy".

Shajen 08-31-2005 05:00 PM

Re: OOT I need your help
 
UPDATE:

Bastard left before I could do anything.

I'm off til tuesday, but I'll definitely do something nasty to him when I get back.

I'm thinking a stinkpalm wet willy.

Sorry to let you all down, thanks for the suggestions. I'll bump this thread tuesday.


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