My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

It's true. He always picks the worst times to masturbate. Take yesterday for example:

Without saying a word to my roommate, I leave with the intention of going to my friend Tyler's car and having him take me to my cell phone distributor. I forget my broken ass cell phone in the room, so I run back upstars to get it, tug on the doorknob...locked.

Great, so what the hell do I do now? I jiggle the doorknob for a few seconds, slide my key in, unlock, wait a little longer (giving my roommate plenty of time to hide the evidence) and finally open the door. I do not make eye contact with my roommate, but I notice him fevorishly closing windows on his computer screen.

This isn't the first time this has happened, and it's quite embarassing for him and for me. But especially him. I usually just laugh at him behind is back for his poor masturbation ability.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

Make it a group thing.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

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My roommate sucks at masturbating

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Try lube, if it doesn't get better, find another guy who can make your happy.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

You are posting about your roommate's masturbation, and you characterize him as "sucking" at masturbating. Are you going to make the first move or just wait on him to go for it?

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

That's because he's too busy getting with that girl you keep posting about.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

sounds to me like he's too good. Stop screwing up your plans and this won't happen.. And oh ya, if your teacher lets you out of class early, let your roommate know somehow.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

Just have a system where you tie something on the doorhandle etc. whenever one of you is in there having sex, whacking it, etc.

Swede

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

So why does he suck at masturbatiing? It sounds like it's just his timing that sucks.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

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So why does he suck at masturbatiing? It sounds like it's just his timing that sucks.

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That's what I'm saying.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

just laugh at him to his face. it's no big deal. then it becomes funny for you instead of uncomfortable. however it's still something you don't want to see, you can just laugh

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

there wasnt a tie hanging from the door knob was there?

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

I have never thought there was a bad time to jerk off.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

Next time you leave, let him know when you plan to be back.

I'd recommend this:

"Hey, I'm going out to grab a burger real quick, so if you are gonna spank it again, better make it happen in the next 15 minutes or so."

Should do the trick. Laugh at him for me though.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

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whenever one of you is in there having sex

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Swede,
Reading Augie's post I do not think this will ever be a problem for him or his roommate.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

How would you know? Well, I guess it's better than bragging.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

i was in an indie pop band in college and the guitarist had a roommate similar to yours.

one day we came home from band practice to catch him in the act. we told him to pay us all 3 dollars or we would write a song about him. his name was eric coker so we called it eric coker chicken choker.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

[ QUOTE ]
i was in an indie pop band in college and the guitarist had a roommate similar to yours.

one day we came home from band practice to catch him in the act. we told him to pay us all 3 dollars or we would write a song about him. his name was eric coker so we called it eric coker chicken choker.

[/ QUOTE ]

Three WHOLE Dollars?

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

Everybody whacks. Just laugh it off.

Re: My roommate sucks at masturbating
 

Sponger you always amuse me.