Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

I was in a situation last night where I needed to tell the person giving me a blow job that is was the absolute worst BJ I have ever had in my life!! As most of you know I am gay, but that is not an issue here, as straight guys I am sure get bottom of the barrel, piss poor head as well on occasion. So how do you handle the situation when you know bless their heart they are trying their best, but Hoover like suction, slobbering all over, and raking their teeth is NOT fun and enjoyable for me. What do you do to tell them they are absolutely horrible...and do it in a nice way???

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

This belongs in the Dear bison thread.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

yeah let me send him a PM

Well he is not accepting PMs

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

Blow it in his eye.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Blow it in his eye.

[/ QUOTE ]

And then punch him, thus completing the Bismark.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

Since Bison is not accepting PMs I will just leave it here. I don't feel like reposting in his thread since people are replying here, and I don't want to be flamed by everyone else for reposting it there so oh freakin' well, it is here to stay.

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

I would say reciprocate. When he comments that you're terrible then you break it to him.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Blow it in his eye.

[/ QUOTE ]

And then punch him, thus completing the Bismark.

[/ QUOTE ]

Jelly Donut?

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

Things you could say,

"What are you a crocodile? EASY ON THE TEETH!"

"Good effort, but please stop trying to ingest my penis."

or you could say'

"Dead, I love you!"

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

many girls have no idea what they are doing, most are very receptive to tips/instructions. just say things like "no teeth","try to develop a rhythm" and such. Make sure to reinforce good stuff with positive comments. I guess with older girls who are more experienced, they might take a bit more offense...

Seeing as your gay and it was another guy, couldn't you just offer to give him one and demonstrate.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Since Bison is not accepting PMs I will just leave it here. I don't feel like reposting in his thread since people are replying here, and I don't want to be flamed by everyone else for reposting it there so oh freakin' well, it is here to stay.

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]


I was really hoping the PMing Bison thing was a very clever joke.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
"Dead, I love you!"

[/ QUOTE ]

NH sir.

Also, you could just let him have it, then put your hand over his mouth and tell him you have syphilis. You think its funny when someone shoots milk out their nose... [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

This clearly depends on several factors. Is she your regular? A friend? Or do you really not care if you ever see her again after this. After you take all of this into consideration then you can take action.

This is the very case for women. Giver her some pointers.

You really should tell her though, she needs help heh.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
This clearly depends on several factors. Is she your regular? A friend? Or do you really not care if you ever see her again after this. After you take all of this into consideration then you can take action.

This is the very case for women. Giver her some pointers.

You really should tell her though, she needs help heh.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you miss the whole point that she's a he? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

i expect guys to tell me if im not doing something they like...not in a hey B@*!@* wtf...but in a serious nice way...its the only way u get better...and if ur doing it u might as well be doing it how they like - otherwise its a waste of both ur times. Every guy is different and likes different things (although the general technique is the SAME) so some imput or guidance is good if done the right way and shouldnt be taken offensively if presented well

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

In that case he's screwed.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

Thats why god gave your partner ears. So you've got a handle to grab onto while you retrain him.

Seriously tho, its not that hard, give verbal cues, Its like training a dog, lots of praise when what hes doing is working, and then when what he isnt doing is working, guide him towards what is (thats a nice way of saying grab his head and do it for him, heh).

Most people are all frigid and uppity when it comes hearing negative imput about their sexual talanets. Its alot lot like poker, EVERYONE thinks they are good, even the ones who really suck. So more than likely just telling the poor bastard that he sucks is just going to hurt his psychie.

But on a more serious note, how the [censored] can a guy give bad head?? Chicks I get, they have no idea what feels good for the man, but hasnt your partner ever gotten a blowjob before? Actually, that just makes me realize, the best advice is to give him a BJ like how youd want a BJ. Unless hes totally clueless he should catch on real fast.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

I swear to god, if there is never another thread on here about gay blowjobs, it'll be way too soon.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

I'm just confused as to how a gay guy could give a bad BJ. Seems to me like they would give great head.

Sponger "the totally straight pimp who has sex with lots of chicks cause he is the man" 15sb

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
I swear to god, if there is never another thread on here about gay blowjobs, it'll be way too soon.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why did you edit "I swear to god" in there?

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
I swear to god, if there is never another thread on here about gay blowjobs, it'll be way too soon.

[/ QUOTE ]

Come on, have some fun with it. There's all kinds of fun things Big Steve could do to his partner in this situation.

For instance, the Tony Danza - even though it would require the other dude's mouth not being full for a second... [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I swear to god, if there is never another thread on here about gay blowjobs, it'll be way too soon.



[/ QUOTE ] Why did you edit "I swear to god" in there?

[/ QUOTE ]

I just felt that it needed a little more mmmph.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Come on, have some fun with it. There's all kinds of fun things Big Steve could do to his partner in this situation.

For instance, the Tony Danza - even though it would require the other dude's mouth not being full for a second... [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

No last night was so bad, waiting and giving him a Cleveland Steamer would have been too nice.

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]


or you could say'

"Dead, I love you!"

[/ QUOTE ]

But he doesn't love me. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Jelly Donut?

[/ QUOTE ]
Angry Dragon?

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


or you could say'

"Dead, I love you!"

[/ QUOTE ]

But he doesn't love me. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe he would if you could please him better, you should ask peachy for help, fat chicks always give good head.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


or you could say'

"Dead, I love you!"

[/ QUOTE ]

But he doesn't love me. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe he would if you could please him better, you should ask peachy for help, fat chicks always give good head.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would laugh at this, but then I would have Alobar on my ass. So I will keep my mouth shut. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
So I will keep my mouth shut. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Now if they would have done that last night I would not have had this problem....instead they were like this [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]


I would laugh at this, but then I would have Alobar on my ass. So I will keep my mouth shut. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

haha, don't worry, I'm not the peachy police...but thats exactly the kind of thing I was talking about

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

Then I restate:

The "Strawberries and Cream"

Blow it in his eye, then punch him in the nose.

Seriously, this isn't complicated stuff bro. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
What do you do to tell them they are absolutely horrible...

[/ QUOTE ]

tell him that you could get better head from a hungry stray.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
i expect guys to tell me if im not doing something they like...not in a hey B@*!@* wtf...but in a serious nice way...its the only way u get better

[/ QUOTE ]

and how exactly should this be done?

one of my ex-girlfriends gave BJ's with the teeth problem, and I just endured it cause i didn't know what to say [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

I considered saying simply "no teeth" or something to that effect, but I couldn't figure out how to say it without being condescending or sounding like i was mad

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
Then I restate:

The "Strawberries and Cream"

Blow it in his eye, then punch him in the nose.

Seriously, this isn't complicated stuff bro. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I seriously think we should get the OOT community together and finalize the meanings of all these sexual slang terms and then publish the definitive works. Cuz me and my friends refer to the maneuver you mentioned as "the cherry snow cone", and just the other day I got in an argument here about weather or not the "donkey punch" involved sticking it in her butt. There needs to be some concensus!! Urban dictionary sucks, cuz any wanker can come along and add his def. We should make our own, start a webpage with the final descriptions.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i expect guys to tell me if im not doing something they like...not in a hey B@*!@* wtf...but in a serious nice way...its the only way u get better

[/ QUOTE ]

and how exactly should this be done?

one of my ex-girlfriends gave BJ's with the teeth problem, and I just endured it cause i didn't know what to say [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

I considered saying simply "no teeth" or something to that effect, but I couldn't figure out how to say it without being condescending or sounding like i was mad

[/ QUOTE ]

"not so much teeth, baby" Then as soon as she stops, give her an "oh yeah, thats feels good"

Problem solved

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

my preferred line is to not say anything at the time and then the next day post it on 2+2 and pretend i'm not bragging.

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

I'd be all about starting the new dictionary. I came across a website a while back that had all the moves listed with their descriptions, but it seems to have disappeared...

Also, I'm 99% sure the Donkey Punch doesn't involve sticking it in her butt. I'm pretty sure you're just doing her from behind then punch her in the back of the head. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

EDIT: FOUND IT! www.dirtyslang.com

Of course, starting one of our own could lead to much more entertaining results. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

It's a man, baby!

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Blow it in his eye.

[/ QUOTE ]

And then punch him, thus completing the Bismark.

[/ QUOTE ]
or a kick in the leg for the angry pirate

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
"not so much teeth, baby" Then as soon as she stops, give her an "oh yeah, thats feels good"

Problem solved

[/ QUOTE ]
fcuk me, that was simple, why couldn't I have thought of that on the spot?

my social skills suck

Re: Breaking the Bad News in a Moment of Passion....
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'd be all about starting the new dictionary. I came across a website a while back that had all the moves listed with their descriptions, but it seems to have disappeared...

Also, I'm 99% sure the Donkey Punch doesn't involve sticking it in her butt. I'm pretty sure you're just doing her from behind then punch her in the back of the head. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

EDIT: FOUND IT! www.dirtyslang.com

Of course, starting one of our own could lead to much more entertaining results. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

see, I think we could make a way better site than that.