Would you have handled this differently?
 

In my program in college we are on the block schedule with 3-4 hours classes all at once.

Last Tuesday, we take our first break and half the students go outside for some fresh air, cigarettes, or just to shoot the bull.

The other half of the students and the Professor "Ms. D" stayed in the class.

About half way through the break I decided to return to the class.

As I am coming down the hall, I heard one of the students say my name in a conversation. This was followed by "Ms. D" making a derogatory gay comment about me. I turned the corner and glared at her and her jaw dropped. I guess she did not expect me to be back from break that early or whatever.

You could have heard a pin drop in that class. I walked over to my table picked up my books and turned to leave the class.

I then turned back to "Ms. D" and calmly said, "I expect an apology written on the college letter head; signed by you, and witnessed by the Head of the Department, the Dean of Student Affairs, and The President of the college, upon my return next week. Do I make myself clear?"

She about choked spitting out a soft "Yes."

Yesterday morning I arrived early and "Mr. W" the Department Head was waiting with my sealed letter.

He said that all of my objective works for the courses are to be turned into him for proper grading. I will have to attend an Academic/Discipline Review for "Ms. D" in January.


Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

You handled this absolutely perfectly.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

It's always to see someone sticking it to the man,,,,errrr,,,,woman in this case.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
You handled this absolutely perfectly.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree because I did not lose my cool and I put it on her to explain to the Head, Dean, and Pres, what she had done to royally screw up. Hence, probably recieving 3 major ass chewings as opposed to only the one I was prepared to give her.

Also I don't think Backwoods Redneck Community College really would want an ACLU/HRC protest on thier campus, to go along with the Murder, and Suicide they have already had this semester.


Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

Nice Work.

Unless Ms. D is hot, then you coulda done it much better [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

Dude, how are you so freaking level-headed?

You handled this perfectly.

Your read of the comment will determine how you approach the review meeting. Don't be vindictive, there is a place for forgiveness.

Was it a fairly innocent joke comment (Steve's really badly dressed for a gay man) or indicative of genuine prejudice (God hates Steve and it disgusts me having him in my class)?

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

I call BS. But I am happy to see your visions of a gay hero movie coming to fruition. Keep it going.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

This does seem a little too perfect. But, I'll take your word for it. Nice play.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

I am Level-Headed because I quit smoking and took up buddhist meditation and relaxation techniques. Honestly!

It was definately the second type comment.

I am not going to be vindictive, because now I have one of these in the big game!
http://www.etailgifts.com/images/Get...0of%20Jail.jpg

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

I think you dealt with this one perfectly Steve. Was this MCC? I couldn't give that much leeway to those clowns. That school needs to be bulldozed.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
I call BS. But I am happy to see your visions of a gay hero movie coming to fruition. Keep it going.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am not a gay hero, just a big queer in Republican Bible Land.

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
You handled this absolutely perfectly.

[/ QUOTE ]

U done goot !!

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
I am Level-Headed because I quit smoking and took up buddhist meditation and relaxation techniques. Honestly!

It was definately the second type comment.

I am not going to be vindictive, because now I have one of these in the big game!
http://www.etailgifts.com/images/Get...0of%20Jail.jpg

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

hey Steve, nice job. The quitting smoking thing is still going well for you? I'd like to hear more about that, the meditation, etc. Sounds like your head is in a good place right now, and that's great.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

What did she say exactly? It would have to be something pretty vicious and hateful for me to take your response.

Flippant gay remarks are so common that in many cases I think they would be a case of Ms D just making a juvenile joke or being insensitive, and you'd be better served to just privately make sure it wouldn't happen again. It's hard for someone on the outside to understand how much crap like this you probably put up with though, and you were well within your rights to react the way you did. In fact I'm pretty impressed.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

Not MCC and yes "Harvard On The Hill" needs to be bulldozed.

You have a PM.

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

Impressive! Very well played!

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

I think there's a touch of Jedi in all this. Did you have to restrain the temptation of a Force Choke?

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

Would the school act the same way if the teacher had criticised someone for being a Catholic, or a supporter of the Iraq War, or some other minority not embraced by the ACLU?


Big Steve should not face discrimination any more than any other minority (even those unpopular in the political correctness universe).

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

Just curious, how did she know you were gay? Has it come up in class discussions or something?

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

Well done, Steve. I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of [censored].

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Would the school act the same way if the teacher had criticised someone for being a Catholic, or a supporter of the Iraq War, or some other minority not embraced by the ACLU?

[/ QUOTE ]

You are an idiot.

To BigSteve: I hope this really happened, because I think you handled it perfectly.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Would the school act the same way if the teacher had criticised someone for being a Catholic, or a supporter of the Iraq War, or some other minority not embraced by the ACLU?

[/ QUOTE ]

Critizing and making derogatory or prejudicial remarks are not the same thing.

If someone criticized my support of the Iraq war, oh well, people disagree.

If someone made a derogatory remark about me for my belief in the Catholic faith, you're damn right they would get hell for it.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Would the school act the same way if the teacher had criticised someone for being a Catholic, or a supporter of the Iraq War, or some other minority not embraced by the ACLU?

[/ QUOTE ]

You are an idiot.



[/ QUOTE ]

I guess you are not against discrimination of ALL minority groups regardless of whether they are politically correct or not. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

Do you wear "I'm gay!" T-shirts or something?

~D

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
If someone made a derogatory remark about me for my belief in the Catholic faith, you're damn right they would get hell for it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would hope so, but there are plenty of instances where the school administrators only act when faced with a threat of a lawsuit by the ACLU. It is culturally acceptable to discriminate against some groups.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Do you wear "I'm gay!" T-shirts or something?

~D

[/ QUOTE ]

I was wondering the same thing.

Are you "flaming" Steve, or did it come up in the course of conversation?

How did she and the class know you're gay?

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Would the school act the same way if the teacher had criticised someone for being a Catholic, or a supporter of the Iraq War, or some other minority not embraced by the ACLU?

[/ QUOTE ]



You are an idiot.



[/ QUOTE ]

I guess you are not against discrimination of ALL minority groups regardless of whether they are politically correct or not. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I am completely un PC. I voted for Bush and despite everything, I think we need to stay in Iraq. But when the hell was the last time someone was criticized for being Catholic? As for criticizing the Iraq war, if you can't mount a solid justification of it, then go cry on someone else's shoulder. If they won't listen to such a justification, then why do you care what gibberish comes out of their mouth-- the war's already going on, and their noise will never amount to anything.

As for your "point," don't pull this "oh i guess you don't support minorities [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]" BS. You make real conservatives look bad.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
What did she say exactly? It would have to be something pretty vicious and hateful for me to take your response.


[/ QUOTE ]

What she said exactly does not deserve the honor of being repeated, just know that it was way over the line for anyone to say, especially a professor.

I deal with it in stride. I have come to accept where it is in this world that I live and unfortunately for me that is Bible Belt Mississippi.

So just don't convert me and I won't convert you and we can get along just fine.


Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]

So just don't convert me and I won't convert you and we can get along just fine.


Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Big Steve, you are immediately ok in my book!

I wish some of the world's a-holes would adopt that philosophy.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

Seems like an overreaction to me. Granted, she's a stupid bitch, but stupid bitches can believe and say what they like outside of class. If you had heard her say this in the grocery store, would you still expect an apology?

Also, a forced apology isn't an apology...so what does your line accomplish, exactly? Though it's probably best your assignments get graded by someone else now, that's the only good I see from this.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
a forced apology isn't an apology...

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep. It's so much better [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

This thread makes me wish I was gay.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Seems like an overreaction to me. Granted, she's a stupid bitch, but stupid bitches can believe and say what they like outside of class. If you had heard her say this in the grocery store, would you still expect an apology?

Also, a forced apology isn't an apology...so what does your line accomplish, exactly?

[/ QUOTE ]

Is this post meant to be taken seriously?

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Also, a forced apology isn't an apology...so what does your line accomplish, exactly? Though it's probably best your assignments get graded by someone else now, that's the only good I see from this.

[/ QUOTE ]

He Pwned her in front of everyone, how is this not obvious?

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]

I am completely un PC. I voted for Bush and despite everything, I think we need to stay in Iraq. But when the hell was the last time someone was criticized for being Catholic? As for criticizing the Iraq war, if you can't mount a solid justification of it, then go cry on someone else's shoulder. If they won't listen to such a justification, then why do you care what gibberish comes out of their mouth-- the war's already going on, and their noise will never amount to anything.

As for your "point," don't pull this "oh i guess you don't support minorities [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]" BS. You make real conservatives look bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

Real conservatives are against discrimination of all minorities, even the politically incorrect ones. Don't be a self-hating conservative just because you want the approval of the "in-crowd."

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]

So just don't convert me and I won't convert you and we can get along just fine.


[/ QUOTE ]

Steve:

Come on man, join our team! Girls are much softer than boys, I bet they're much more pleasant to kiss.

OK, conversion mode is off, good job showing this "lady" how things should be handled.

Swede

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I am completely un PC. I voted for Bush and despite everything, I think we need to stay in Iraq. But when the hell was the last time someone was criticized for being Catholic? As for criticizing the Iraq war, if you can't mount a solid justification of it, then go cry on someone else's shoulder. If they won't listen to such a justification, then why do you care what gibberish comes out of their mouth-- the war's already going on, and their noise will never amount to anything.

As for your "point," don't pull this "oh i guess you don't support minorities [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]" BS. You make real conservatives look bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

Real conservatives are against discrimination of all minorities, even the politically incorrect ones. Don't be a self-hating conservative just because you want the approval of the "in-crowd."

[/ QUOTE ]

And now I'm back where I started: You're an idiot.

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
I then turned back to "Ms. D" and calmly said, "I expect an apology written on the college letter head; signed by you, and witnessed by the Head of the Department, the Dean of Student Affairs, and The President of the college, upon my return next week. Do I make myself clear?"

She about choked spitting out a soft "Yes."

[/ QUOTE ]

*bow*

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]


Steve:

Come on man, join our team! Girls are much softer than boys, I bet they're much more pleasant to kiss.

Swede

[/ QUOTE ]

You got to do better marketing. This requires pictures of what he is missing. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Would you have handled this differently?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I am completely un PC. I voted for Bush and despite everything, I think we need to stay in Iraq. But when the hell was the last time someone was criticized for being Catholic? As for criticizing the Iraq war, if you can't mount a solid justification of it, then go cry on someone else's shoulder. If they won't listen to such a justification, then why do you care what gibberish comes out of their mouth-- the war's already going on, and their noise will never amount to anything.

As for your "point," don't pull this "oh i guess you don't support minorities [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]" BS. You make real conservatives look bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

Real conservatives are against discrimination of all minorities, even the politically incorrect ones. Don't be a self-hating conservative just because you want the approval of the "in-crowd."

[/ QUOTE ]

You contradict yourself completely. You state that no minorities should be discriminated, then you use the discrimination of some minorities to justify the discrimination of an other.