Favorite poker quotes
 

Some are useful, some are funny (at least to me [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]), all are about poker:

"Don't go broke in an unraised pot." Doyle Brunson

"If you limp with aces, you should never get broke with aces, but it happens all the time." T.J. Cloutier

"The key to No-Limit is to put my opponent to a decision for all his chips." Doyle Brunson

"To master poker and make it profitable, you must first master patience and discipline, as a lack of either is a sure disaster regardless of all other talents, or lucky streaks." Freddie Gasperian

"The single greatest key to winning is knowing thy enemy — yourself." Andy Glazer

"They say poker is a zero-sum game. It must be, because every time I play my sum ends up zero." Max Shapiro

"River quads" Lori

"Besides lovemaking and singing in the shower, there aren’t many human activities where there is a greater difference between a person’s self-delusional ability and actual ability than in poker." Steve Badger

"Poker is not a game of cards played with people, it's a game of people played with cards." Ken Warren

"Short-handed poker's no longer about what you have, but what your opponent DOESN'T have." ???

"Better to be weak-tight than strong-broke." Tommy Angelo

"No set, no bet." ???

"If you get a set beaten and you don't lose a lot of chips, you didn't play it right." Lee Jones

"The brown trout sleeps in the closet." Joe Tall

Got any others you like?

The Shadow

Re: Favorite poker quotes
 

"see kid, the reason why suited connectors and suited one gappers are so good is that they flop two pair SO often."

regular guy at my casino, and he is very serious.

if u don't believe me:

"see? learn from your elders."
-same guy, this time after dragging a 400$ pot with 57s that cracked my AKs. when I pointed out that my hand was, in fact, a suited connector as well, he proceeded to mumble to himself and take a long, satisfying swig of his corona.

perhaps I should start attributing "two pair value" to my one gappers like I attribute "set value" to my pps.

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"poker is easy" (my favourite after sucking out...)

"I knew, I knew" (my second favourite)

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T.J. Cloutier also said something like

"The right way to play JJ is to raise before the flop and to fold after it."

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ni han sir!

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"He call me with JACK HIGH!" -- Ellix Powers

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[ QUOTE ]
"He call me with JACK HIGH!" -- Ellix Powers

[/ QUOTE ]

Ellix Powers is the penny player and he's awesome. That is all.

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I am almost embarrassed to offer:

"But I was suited!"


GG

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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"He call me with JACK HIGH!" -- Ellix Powers

[/ QUOTE ]

Ellix Powers is the penny player and he's awesome. That is all.

[/ QUOTE ]

If only there were a way to capture his inflection in print. The quote is only good if you've heard it. Maybe it's better this way:

"He call wit a jack high! JACK HIGH!" -- Ellix Powers

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Devilfish cracks me up...

Player X: "What did you have?"
Devilfish: "I'll tell you for $25..."
<pause>
Devilfish: "I'll tell you the truth for $50"

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I wish I could remember the exact quote, but I think it went down something like this. Some WPT event, two players go all-in preflop, turn over JJ vs AK or something similar.

"This looks like another coin race." -- Vince van Patton

followed by the barely audible sound of Mike Sexton's soul dying just a little bit more.

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Yea...but it was good. Was it not? So it was a great call.

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"Hold'em is to stud what chess is to checkers" - Johnny Moss

"It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." -- Stu Unger

"You call...gonna be all over, baby." -- Scotty Nguyen (He said this in '98 when he had the nuts heads up)

"Ship it" - I'd like to say me

"Ever heard of a place called antartica? Let me tell you about 52 off suit" - Me

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"What happened in the actual hand from which this problem was taken? The player with the aces called, and his opponent showed trip nines, and won the pot."

-- Dan Harrington

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From one of the WPT events :

Mike Sexton : "What on earth are you talking about?"
Vince Van Patten : "I've no idea!"

From the 2003 WSOP :

Chris Moneymaker : "Is it me? I'm sorry, I didn't even realise I was in the hand!"

Another favourite, everytime :

Phil Hellmuth : "Nice hand"

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Heard in my local casino, I never established whether it was original or not.

Known big fish: You are the worst dealer on the planet.
Dealer: Sir, that would be impossible
Fish: Why?
Dealer: It would be too much of a coincidence.

Lori

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"You picked the Wrong Cowboy"...SkipperBob
"CockTails!".....SkipperBob
"I'm your Huckelberry"...Doc Holiday

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I heard one in a 109 SNG just five minutes ago that I thought was pretty funny. We were down to four and big blind called for all her chips with J 8 off-suit, in a position that made no sense with another player about to go out soon. And after she won the pot (button had 9-10) that player said "nice hand." Her response: "Thank you. He was going in on too many hands."

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Re: Favorite poker quotes
 

'I value call my nuts'

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"Like all variations of poker, no-limit hold'em looks like a card game. But it's not, really. No-limit hold'em is actually a game of wagering based on imperfect information that uses cards to construct the situations for wagering." - Harrington/Robertie

"The sucker at the table is usually the guy using the most Rounders quotes." - Unknown

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"Everybody should gamble every day. Nothing would be worse than to be lucky and not even know it."

Robert "Chip Burner" Turner

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I learned more about poker from hearing this single quote, than I did from hearing or reading any other phrase:

"I CALL YOU!"

-Hon Le (as he called a $1,000,000 preflop bet with Jack high)

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[ QUOTE ]
I learned more about poker from hearing this single quote, than I did from hearing or reading any other phrase:

"I CALL YOU!"

-Hon Le (as he called a $1,000,000 preflop bet with Jack high)

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok ill bite...where is this from, and care to elaborate on what you learned from it?

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It was on TV, of course. And what I learned was Maslow's original hierarchy of needs. You should be able to search for my thread by keywording "+maslow's +hierarchy of +needs" and find the full discussion.

Irieguy

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The need to call is after food, but before shelter; in my case a close second to alcohol

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"I've been thrown outa better places than this"...SkipperBob upon getting ejected from the Palace Court at Ceasar's

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"I've burned-down better places than this" - SkipperBob upon getting ejected from the Mustang Bridge Ranch in Sparks, Nv.

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[ QUOTE ]
It was on TV, of course. And what I learned was Maslow's original hierarchy of needs. You should be able to search for my thread by keywording "+maslow's +hierarchy of +needs" and find the full discussion.

Irieguy

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The thing is, this ends up being funny and insightful. Although I'd wager too many miss the insight...

Instaclassic

I'd also recommend this for Shadows links dealio, but frankly, I already mentioned how I'd kill myself if I did that.....so, I don't recommend this.

Yugoslav

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"I am an eagle"

"If it weren't for luck I'd win every hand"

-Phil Helmuth

Phil is such a moron sometimes...but it's like trying to pull my attention away from an accident on the freeway...I just have to look!

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[ QUOTE ]
"Hold'em is to stud what chess is to checkers" - Johnny Moss"?

[/ QUOTE ]

Was it not "No limit is to limit what chess is to checkers

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My favorite is a quote from my poker buddy.

situation:

Sitting in the BB with 22. Someone goes all in, and you have pot odds to call.

Opponent: "How can you call with 22?!?"
Hero: "I thought you were bluffing"

Pokerscott

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attributed to hhughes (2+2 poster)

This is a general quote attributed to Phil Gordon...as I heard it someone at a table was berating a player for making an big mistake but still ending up winning the pot from the berater...Gordon was rumored to say

"Dont tap the aquarium"

Not sure if this is a totally accurate account of what took place...but still one of my favorite quotes...

Now if I could just find out who that guy was that was berating me...

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"You put your chips in the pot James Bond style. Shaken--not stirred."

--Me

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Yeah Scuba...

The other one like that is:

"Don't throw rocks in the pond."

I love that one. I get chuckles everytime I use that one.

-Gryph

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After you bet into a pot and the villian agonizes for 19 of the 20 seconds before laying them down.

"Good fold."

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My most recent favorite poker quote occured on the chat line of the 2+2 Atlantic game last night. Hyde (dr. jekyl) said:

dr. jekyl: to tilt
dr. jekyl: or not to tilt
Dealer: dr. jekyl folds
.....
dr. jekyl: yet


Best line of the year.

Doc [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

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another phil quote

"Sometimes I play to good for own good"

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"I estimate my opponents are utilizing technology in this manner in about 4% of the hands I play. Therefore, I slowplay 4% of my big hands, just in case they are busy eating or relieving themselves."

"(I'm not afraid to give away this secret because I randomize the 4% with a cool program eastbay wrote for me... making it impossible to counter even if you know how often I slowplay.)"

I laughed out loud at both of these, funny thread thanks irie.

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[ QUOTE ]


"If it weren't for luck I'd win every hand"

-Phil Helmuth



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Or his other one about tournies, "If it weren't for luck, I guess I'd win every one."

Both are priceless in my opinion. You have PH saying those lines over shots of him doing yoga before a tourney (I thin it was in one of the WSOP events on ESPN) and I laugh so hard I have to change my shorts.

ts-