Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Holy friggin' cow batman, time for a friggin' rant! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

I come onto the ferums today and see a post entitled "freaquency of being carded"

Note "frequency" was mis-spelled by some underage punk ass bitch! That's a MAJOR nut-kicking! Keep your little friggin' under-21 year old bitch ass out of the friggin' casinos and into the playskool daycamp center eating play-doh where you belong! [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

Then I'm in the pokah room one night, just doing my poker thing, when a bunch of foreigners come in. Now normally I don't give a chit if you're from somewhere other than "here," except for when you insist on trying to pull a fast one on my watch and get away with playing underage! Then, the friggin' punk ass mo-fos, when carded, they (reluctantly) presented "student IDs" from "Iraq university" or some chit! Does that look like a PASSPORT? I doubt you got into this country sans the passport, so why should I risk my own ass for your sorry butts to play 2-4 with a student ID from baghdad? NOT!! Wham! Square in the NUTS!

Next thing you know, there's a friggin' punk who's had about sixteen too many redbull and vodkas playing 2-4, and he's insisting that some other jerkoff who's about nineteen beers IS BREATHING TOO MUCH OF HIS AIR. Wham! So I'm kicking 'em and I'm kicking 'em and I'm kicking 'em! ...

Then it happens. "His hand is dead! His hand is dead!" YET ANOTHER Friggin' punk ass bitch is (of course) trying to pull yet another fast one! Some guy turns up his hand without calling the last $1 out of like $50,000 (the last buck was his card protector chip), but alas... "his hand is dead!" WHAM!!!! The nuts! My foot is getting sore! [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

Then there's the Coup d'état of the 2-4 world... Hat... Hooded sweatshirt... Mirrored sunglasses...

"TIME!"

It's BEFORE THE FRIGGIN' FLOP YOU FRIGGIN' MORON!!!!! [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Sheesh! Been watching too much TV! [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Wham! Square in the NUTS! [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

Friggin' bitch-ass punks tryin' to taking over the poker world with their ineptitude, stupidity, and pre-pubescent bull-pucky! Damn! This is a MAN'S game, no need for your punk ass to be stinkin' up the place, BOY!

Rant over. Hopefully I won't get censored! Hey tho, I've had a few beers, so anything I say cannot be used against me! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

al

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Be sure to get some ice on that foot, you don't want it to swell up because the day is still young [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Please don't ever stop posting. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

well played sir

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Kicking a fetus in the nuts doesn't have the same effect so if you really want to get their attention, take away their video games.

Godzilla may be the king of monsters but Al Capone JR is the king of rants.

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Then there's the Coup d'état of the 2-4 world... Hat... Hooded sweatshirt... Mirrored sunglasses...

"TIME!"

It's BEFORE THE FRIGGIN' FLOP YOU FRIGGIN' MORON!!!!!


[/ QUOTE ]

Did this actually happen? Who are these morons?

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Probably the same morons at Imperial Palace that routinely take their sweet time on every decision.

Or perhaps it's similar to the drunk brainless jerks who ask what they can bet every single friggin time it's to them for 6 hours! ...and we are playing LIMIT!

I am going to explode on one of these idiots, one of these days.

-T

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Amen brotha!

I was waiting for somebody to go off on the "Which casino can I play in if I am underage" posts.

Al, I believe this is the proper sequence of events at the $2-$4 table.

1) Underage player catches A-6 sooted.

2) Underage player puts on sunglasses.

3) Underage player calls "time" preflop.

4) Underage player calls after calculating pot odds of calling two bucks.

5) Flop

6) Underage player checks, other player bets, underage player checkraises to $4 after hitting middle pair.

7) yadda, yadda, yadda and underage player loses.

8) Underage player cannot BELIEVE he got sucked out soooo bad and pronounces that this is why he is a "no-limit player".

9) Al feels bad for the underage player's "bad luck" so he comps him a buffet, the presidential suite, and twin hookers....check that...the kid just gets a kick in the nuts.

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

i respect the right of the minors to try to sneak into casinos and play poker, but not 2/4. Seriously, man up, grow some balls, and play the 30 game.

im sorry your night was sad. in one week, i will be in vegas, and i will show up when you are working and demand to play everyone you kick in the nuts to a 50/100 HU match.

peace

john nickle

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

KICK EVERYONE IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE DEALER IN THE NUTS AND THE FLOOR KICK HIM IN THE NUTS CALL THE WAITRESS OVER AND KICK HER IN THE NUTS AND KICK ALL THE PLAYERS IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE GUY WITH ONE CARD WHERE? IN THE NUTS AND THEN HAVE THEIR NUTS KICK EACHOTHERS NUTS RIGHT NUT KICK LEFT NUT AND VICE VERSA UNTIL EVERYONE NUTS HAVE BEEN KICKED AND THEN KICK NUTS KICK NUTS NUTKICKING KICK NUTS BUY A BAG OF CORN NUTS AND KICK THAT AND THEN FIND A GUY WITH THE LAST NAME GNUTTS (SILENT G) AND KICK HIM PREFERABBLY IN THE NUTS AND FINALLY KICK YOURSELF RIGHT IN THE NUTS

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y19...e/mrpeanut.jpg

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
KICK EVERYONE IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE DEALER IN THE NUTS AND THE FLOOR KICK HIM IN THE NUTS CALL THE WAITRESS OVER AND KICK HER IN THE NUTS AND KICK ALL THE PLAYERS IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE GUY WITH ONE CARD WHERE? IN THE NUTS AND THEN HAVE THEIR NUTS KICK EACHOTHERS NUTS RIGHT NUT KICK LEFT NUT AND VICE VERSA UNTIL EVERYONE NUTS HAVE BEEN KICKED AND THEN KICK NUTS KICK NUTS NUTKICKING KICK NUTS BUY A BAG OF CORN NUTS AND KICK THAT AND THEN FIND A GUY WITH THE LAST NAME GNUTTS (SILENT G) AND KICK HIM PREFERABBLY IN THE NUTS AND FINALLY KICK YOURSELF RIGHT IN THE NUTS

[/ QUOTE ]

See, I have developed a different, pretty dry and sarcastic sense of humor the last couple years and I guess that's why this post is so damn brilliant in my humble opinion.

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
KICK EVERYONE IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE DEALER IN THE NUTS AND THE FLOOR KICK HIM IN THE NUTS CALL THE WAITRESS OVER AND KICK HER IN THE NUTS AND KICK ALL THE PLAYERS IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE GUY WITH ONE CARD WHERE? IN THE NUTS AND THEN HAVE THEIR NUTS KICK EACHOTHERS NUTS RIGHT NUT KICK LEFT NUT AND VICE VERSA UNTIL EVERYONE NUTS HAVE BEEN KICKED AND THEN KICK NUTS KICK NUTS NUTKICKING KICK NUTS BUY A BAG OF CORN NUTS AND KICK THAT AND THEN FIND A GUY WITH THE LAST NAME GNUTTS (SILENT G) AND KICK HIM PREFERABBLY IN THE NUTS AND FINALLY KICK YOURSELF RIGHT IN THE NUTS

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, that's nuts.

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Then there's the Coup d'état of the 2-4 world... Hat... Hooded sweatshirt... Mirrored sunglasses...

"TIME!"

It's BEFORE THE FRIGGIN' FLOP YOU FRIGGIN' MORON!!!!!


[/ QUOTE ]

Did this actually happen? Who are these morons?

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, if I'm making up fiction, I'll tell you. No, this really did happen.

Who are they? WPT trained 2-4 pros!

al

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
perhaps it's similar to the drunk brainless jerks who ask what they can bet every single friggin time it's to them for 6 hours! ...and we are playing LIMIT!

[/ QUOTE ]

"How much is it to me?"

"it's... TWO!!!!!!

WHAM!!!!!! SQUARE IN THE NUTS!!!!!!

al

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Excellent reply! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

al

best reply ever!
 

[ QUOTE ]
KICK EVERYONE IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE DEALER IN THE NUTS AND THE FLOOR KICK HIM IN THE NUTS CALL THE WAITRESS OVER AND KICK HER IN THE NUTS AND KICK ALL THE PLAYERS IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE GUY WITH ONE CARD WHERE? IN THE NUTS AND THEN HAVE THEIR NUTS KICK EACHOTHERS NUTS RIGHT NUT KICK LEFT NUT AND VICE VERSA UNTIL EVERYONE NUTS HAVE BEEN KICKED AND THEN KICK NUTS KICK NUTS NUTKICKING KICK NUTS BUY A BAG OF CORN NUTS AND KICK THAT AND THEN FIND A GUY WITH THE LAST NAME GNUTTS (SILENT G) AND KICK HIM PREFERABBLY IN THE NUTS AND FINALLY KICK YOURSELF RIGHT IN THE NUTS

[/ QUOTE ]

SWEET! Excellent reply! You just earned yourself a special "prize" that will either involve a rare collector's item, a kick in the nuts, or both! PM me with your address and I'll mail it ASAP!!

al

Re: best reply ever!
 

But look here

(I thought the "kick the guy with one card where? In the nuts" bit sounded familiar...)

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

NH sir

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

post of year

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

LOL.....Al, where do you work, anyways??

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
LOL.....Al, where do you work, anyways??

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you or at least kick you in the nuts. None of the dealers or floor will disclose their location on the public forum.

They have a very good reason for keeping that information to themselves. Some of the Las Vegas NITS found this forum and used some creative editing to cause a couple of our best posters some trouble.

so it is like Gays in the Military, don't Ask, don't tell.

Re: best reply ever!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
KICK EVERYONE IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE DEALER IN THE NUTS AND THE FLOOR KICK HIM IN THE NUTS CALL THE WAITRESS OVER AND KICK HER IN THE NUTS AND KICK ALL THE PLAYERS IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE GUY WITH ONE CARD WHERE? IN THE NUTS AND THEN HAVE THEIR NUTS KICK EACHOTHERS NUTS RIGHT NUT KICK LEFT NUT AND VICE VERSA UNTIL EVERYONE NUTS HAVE BEEN KICKED AND THEN KICK NUTS KICK NUTS NUTKICKING KICK NUTS BUY A BAG OF CORN NUTS AND KICK THAT AND THEN FIND A GUY WITH THE LAST NAME GNUTTS (SILENT G) AND KICK HIM PREFERABBLY IN THE NUTS AND FINALLY KICK YOURSELF RIGHT IN THE NUTS

[/ QUOTE ]

SWEET! Excellent reply! You just earned yourself a special "prize" that will either involve a rare collector's item, a kick in the nuts, or both! PM me with your address and I'll mail it ASAP!!

al

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually all this talk of nut-kicking makes me squirm uncomfortably.

~ Rick

But I thought ...
 

Gee ...

I thought the reason that people like Al Capone and Photoc didn't want anyone knowing where they "work" is because they don't ... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: But I thought ...
 

[ QUOTE ]
I thought the reason that people like Al Capone and Photoc didn't want anyone knowing where they "work" is because they don't ...

[/ QUOTE ]

Believe me, Al and I are employed by the same company but I can't say that I have ever seen him work. Oh, and Al, if you can't guess who this is you get one swift kick in the nuts.

Re: But I thought ...
 

My point exactly. I know where both supposively "work", but anytime I am there and they are physically present, it sure doesn't seem like much "work" is going on. HEH.

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Man I love this post! LOL.... [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Al I think I video clip of you..
web page

Re: But I thought ...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Oh, and Al, if you can't guess who this is you get one swift kick in the nuts.

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha, I think I know who this is already too. Btw, if I'm right, I met you last week when I stopped by the joint and hung out for a bit.

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Steamboatin' has it EXACTLY right.

I work somewhere west of the continental divide. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

al

Re: But I thought ...
 

I can vouch from personal experience for LordTanle...

He's a friggin' slacker, and a Magoo too.

al

p.s. I'll kick you in the nuts

Re: But I thought ...
 

Hey I can vouch for photoc too, he's a friggin' SLACKER.

al

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Excellent video! If I looked good in an orange 'fro I might mistake that guy for me!

al

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Keep your little friggin' under-21 year old bitch ass out of the friggin' casinos and into the playskool daycamp center eating play-doh where you belong!

[/ QUOTE ]
You're an idiot. This makes no more sense than if I told you to stfu and go back to the retirement home where you belong. I'm sure lots of people would flip out over that, but for some reason the [censored] you spew is accepted. What a shame.

[ QUOTE ]
Hopefully I won't get censored!

[/ QUOTE ]
I hope you do. If censored banned you I'd issue a public apology for all the times I told him he sucked.



I DON'T CARE THAT YOU HATE THE PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH! I had a hard test on Thursday and I didn't get much sleep last night, however, I don't post about it on here threatening to kick my finance professor in the nuts (god, what a stupid phrase).

Seriously, we all know that there are a bunch of idiots that play live poker; it's no more interesting than the bunch of idiots that play weboggle. You're not putting a flag anywhere. Sunglasses, calling time, blah blah blah. WE KNOW!

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
KICK EVERYONE IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE DEALER IN THE NUTS AND THE FLOOR KICK HIM IN THE NUTS CALL THE WAITRESS OVER AND KICK HER IN THE NUTS AND KICK ALL THE PLAYERS IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE GUY WITH ONE CARD WHERE? IN THE NUTS AND THEN HAVE THEIR NUTS KICK EACHOTHERS NUTS RIGHT NUT KICK LEFT NUT AND VICE VERSA UNTIL EVERYONE NUTS HAVE BEEN KICKED AND THEN KICK NUTS KICK NUTS NUTKICKING KICK NUTS BUY A BAG OF CORN NUTS AND KICK THAT AND THEN FIND A GUY WITH THE LAST NAME GNUTTS (SILENT G) AND KICK HIM PREFERABBLY IN THE NUTS AND FINALLY KICK YOURSELF RIGHT IN THE NUTS

[/ QUOTE ]

You, sir, are a poet.

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

I'LL STICK YOUR FOOT UP WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE IF YOU TRY COMING UP THE BORDER AND KICKIN' SOME NUTS AND THOSE NUTS BETTER BE FALLING OFF TREES AND NOT MY TESTICLES CUZ IF YOU TRY AND KICK MY TESTICLES I'LL MAKE SURE YOUR FOOT STAYS WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE DO YOU HEAR ME YOU MAGGGOO - YES I KNOW I SPELT THAT WITH 3 G'S CUZ WTF IS A MAGGGOO GRANDFESTWHATCMACALLIT -

Peace Al.

Lawrence

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
AND THOSE NUTS BETTER BE FALLING OFF TREES AND NOT MY TESTICLES

[/ QUOTE ]

I would hope your nuts wouldn't be falling off your testicles. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

Honest to god, Al. One of the best rants ever.

[ QUOTE ]
too many redbull and vodkas

[/ QUOTE ]

This is on my "classic" list.

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
KICK EVERYONE IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE DEALER IN THE NUTS AND THE FLOOR KICK HIM IN THE NUTS CALL THE WAITRESS OVER AND KICK HER IN THE NUTS AND KICK ALL THE PLAYERS IN THE NUTS AND KICK THE GUY WITH ONE CARD WHERE? IN THE NUTS AND THEN HAVE THEIR NUTS KICK EACHOTHERS NUTS RIGHT NUT KICK LEFT NUT AND VICE VERSA UNTIL EVERYONE NUTS HAVE BEEN KICKED AND THEN KICK NUTS KICK NUTS NUTKICKING KICK NUTS BUY A BAG OF CORN NUTS AND KICK THAT AND THEN FIND A GUY WITH THE LAST NAME GNUTTS (SILENT G) AND KICK HIM PREFERABBLY IN THE NUTS AND FINALLY KICK YOURSELF RIGHT IN THE NUTS

[/ QUOTE ]

You, sir, are a poet.

[/ QUOTE ]I can't take credit for it [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]
I saw it in another B&M post and notepad'ed it for future use.

Re: Punk ass B****es! I\'ll kick \'em in the nuts!!!! (pointless RANT)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'LL STICK YOUR FOOT UP WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE IF YOU TRY COMING UP THE BORDER AND KICKIN' SOME NUTS AND THOSE NUTS BETTER BE FALLING OFF TREES AND NOT MY TESTICLES CUZ IF YOU TRY AND KICK MY TESTICLES I'LL MAKE SURE YOUR FOOT STAYS WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE DO YOU HEAR ME YOU MAGGGOO - YES I KNOW I SPELT THAT WITH 3 G'S CUZ WTF IS A MAGGGOO GRANDFESTWHATCMACALLIT -

Peace Al.

Lawrence

[/ QUOTE ]

So...you are going to stick his foot up your AZZ? lol