What is people skills?
 

I read from time to time in this forum that iq and people skills are inversely correlated above a certain point on the intelligence curve.

What does "people skills" mean?

1) Empathy? The ability to understand other people's feelings. This would mean that highly intelligent people likely have tendencies leaning towards psycopathy.

2) The opposite of autism? (I can't come up with the word for this). With autism being a condition where you are unable to communicate or form relationships and express feelings.

3) Being extroverted? Beginning to ramble?
I am a fairly introverted person. Does this mean that I have worse "people skills" than extroverted people?

Re: What is people skills?
 

I think what people are calling "people skills" is nothing more than one's ability or willingness to:


project a positive self-image
disagree without being disagreeable
display appropriate humility


But then again I am a hermit.

1 have 3l1t3 P30Pll3 $k1ll$
 

People skills, like the name suggests is your skill at dealing with people.

Things like

"Are you able to get people to like you?"

"Are you able to have a good idea of what people are feeling / thinking based on non-verbal clues?"

That sort of thing.

Re: What is people skills?
 

Not just understand others' feelings. Being able to feel what others feel. Being able to spot a lie. Being able to lie without being caught. Being able to believe what you are telling others and therefore being persuasive.
Being able to precipitate conflict when strong and avoid conflict when weak. Being able to make your friends feel good. Being able to make your business partners think that they are getting a good bargain. Being on time for people who value being on time. Being creative for people who love to play with new ideas. Being able to communicate exactly what you want in such a way that others will want it too.

Re: What is people skills?
 

If it's not clear why the intelligent few are unable to communicate with the mediocre majority, then you must have really great people skills. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

I'm just kidding.

I don't think answers 1, 2 or 3 are correct. If you are blessed with great intelligence, then you will probably find things like science, math, history, litterature, in other words great forms of human knowledge, much more interesting than the idiots who suround you. Hence their unsuitability for "people skills."

Now I'm not the sharpest tack in the box, but have you ever had a job interview where the person interviewing you was clearly an ignorant phillistine? Being able to suck it up and appear genuinely interested, now that's people skills.

Re: What is people skills?
 

The art of rhetoric, then? "Rhetoric," in the classical sense of the word.

Re: What is people skills?
 

The art of Rhetoric is a really advanced application. It is essential if you aspire to be a political leader or a preacher. I was aiming for salesmanship, which is also very useful. Being always "on" when people are around, having multiple situation-dependent "personas". Appearing trustworthy and dependable 100% of the time, a man of your word.

Re: What is people skills?
 

[ QUOTE ]
If you are blessed with great intelligence, then you will probably find things like science, math, history, litterature, in other words great forms of human knowledge, much more interesting than the idiots who suround you. Hence their unsuitability for "people skills."


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most of the smartest/ most inteligent people who I've met are fascinated with everything around them including the people. granted some of them are more coy, but this isn't because a huaghtyness or lack of careing, intrest or empathy it's because of an aloofness and lack of signifigant comon ground. for instance lets say you go to a movie with some friends and the movie has an oversimplified plot and extremely corny and simple humor... you hate the movie your friends love it. it's going to be hard for you to relate with your friends through the medium of the movie. now lets take the most brilliant person in the world, whose mental pathways work in ways signifigantly different fromthe average bloke I would posit that their relating to the norm through world mediums would be similar to you relating to your friends through the dumb movie...

that's all the armchair psychology i have in me for today

-little fish

ps. Post #250

Re: What is people skills?
 

I think that there is a high likleyhood that those people with a higher intelligence also have egos to match and those egos are what get in their way of "people skills".

Anyone can have good people skills provided they are willing to listen, clarify, and understand.

Re: What is people skills?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Anyone can have good people skills provided they are willing to listen, clarify, and understand.

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I disagree... there are plenty of people who are very kind and considerate but who don't have good people skills. people skills require an affability, wit, sense of humor, and ability to understand people not just a willingness too. I think everyone can improve their people skills, but i don't hink anyone can have good people skills. I also think that people skills are best measured with ones interactions with others. if someone has inherit physical or mental issues that make others uncomfortable it will be harder for them to have good people skills. I think i'll start a thread on the idea that looks affect people skills. also i think mental diabilities greatly affect someones people skills. I think these trends also apply on less extreme levels. saying that anyone who is willing is able to have good people skills is just silly.

-little fishy

I think \"people skills\" is a euphemism
 

A better name might be "How to manipulate people and get them to like you for it." I'm not saying that this hasn't been necessary for great leaders throughout history, but the truth is the truth.

Re: What is people skills?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Anyone can have good people skills provided they are willing to listen, clarify, and understand.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree... there are plenty of people who are very kind and considerate but who don't have good people skills. people skills require an affability, wit, sense of humor, and ability to understand people not just a willingness too. I think everyone can improve their people skills, but i don't hink anyone can have good people skills. I also think that people skills are best measured with ones interactions with others. if someone has inherit physical or mental issues that make others uncomfortable it will be harder for them to have good people skills. I think i'll start a thread on the idea that looks affect people skills. also i think mental diabilities greatly affect someones people skills. I think these trends also apply on less extreme levels. saying that anyone who is willing is able to have good people skills is just silly.

-little fishy

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So you do not think that someone can learn to have good people skills? Would that make it a genetic predisposition?

Re: What is people skills?
 

[ QUOTE ]
So you do not think that someone can learn to have good people skills? Would that make it a genetic predisposition?

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I do think that someone can improve their people skills but I don't believe that this curve is equall for all people. Just like in athletics... anyone can become a better athlete in any given sport, but not everyone can become a great or even a good athlete when compared to others. and yes i do believe genetics play a role in this (how large a role is hard to say). we can see genetic influence in a reverse correlation with people skills in certain genetic related disorders ie. antisocial personality disorder, mental handicaps, and personality traits that affect how we interact with others ex: hyperactivity and ADD/ADHD. also genetics affect physical appearence which i believe also have some impact on people skills.

Re: What is people skills?
 

You seem to be very adamant about your beliefs.

Any particular reason why exceptional people skills couldn't come from hard work instead of predisposition?

btw - Just cause you're hung like a donkey doesn't mean you have to be a porn star...

Re: What is people skills?
 

I think that I agree about some people cannot gain the same level of social interaction. Social skills are more than observation and exploitation. It's the returning of emotion and empathy that makes people connect. Some things can be taught. I was a total recluse in school, I left high school a year and ahalf early to start college. I couldn't walk up to anyone and speak a cohherant sentance, I couldn't look at someone for more than a few seconds, everything about my social interaction was garbled and messed up.

Thanks to being thrown out of my parents house into the dorms one year, and some therapy, I overcame the social retards. But I still don't think I am a "people person." I'm a good liar, a good pretender, but I hate the average idiot walking down the street. Being around people who are all talky and nice all the time get me down, I can't stand it. I wear headphones alot of the time at the poker room, but I leave them off. I like to hear what's going on around me, but don't want people to talk to me.

A people person isn't someone who can converse well, I think it's someone who wants to converse and have social interactions.

Re: What is people skills?
 

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A people person isn't someone who can converse well, I think it's someone who wants to converse and have social interactions.

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That is a very interesting perspective.

What do you think the difference is between an extrovert and someone who has good people skills?

Re: What is people skills?
 

Maybe I should have been a little more clear, I think a people person has both qualities. One or the other, ability or willingness, is not enough. An extrovert may have only an intense will to socialize, but no ability. My sister is exactly this way, she tries to talk to everyone and get involved with people. She also has the quality of complete lack of wit. Her conversations are very linear and predictable. She tries but fails. She is learning as well though. Ability can be learned, willingness cannot.

Re: What is people skills?
 

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Ability can be learned, willingness cannot.

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There is something profound in this statement.