Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

The first thing that hits you is how fat people are and how unhealthy they eat. It is very noticable before you leave, but upon returning its magnified by ten. In the Detroit Airport I decided to play a game. I walked around and counted how many obesse women/not obesse. The results I came up with were as follows: 274 obesse/11 not obesse.

Western food has no flavor, is unhealthy and is garabge.

Would you eat regular white bread alone? Probably not, it has not flavor. So when you do eat it, it is only filling. So why are you even eating it at all. You people need to stop being so lazy. Get outside and exercise. Buy some books on eastern cooking. Start using spices beyond salt and pepper. Only rednecks eat ketchup and barbeque sauce. Introduce yourself to Chutney. Do something, because quite frankly, its sickening to have to watch you hand an extra large Coke and Big Mac to your 150 lb 7 year old.

Something has to be done about the way you talk. Southern, Midwestern and Northeastern accents are very hard to handle. If a foriegner gets stuck in an airplane next to a family from Boston or Nebraska or Alabama he is likley to hijack the plane, killing himself and everyone abroad.

For the women out there. Not wearing makeup and letting yourself go is embarrasing. Whenever you leave your home, or wake up, you should make yourself as presentable as possible. You should eat healthy(as should men) and excerise. This will raise your confidence and make you more attractive. When you walk around in spandex pants and no make up staring at the ground with your sad foot steps - I dunno, I start wondering what happened to the American dream?

There is something called water. You might have seen it fall from the sky once of twice, or in a bathtub. You can, infact, drink this. Yes, this is a revelation to you, I am sure, but there you dont have to put sugar into water for it to be a drink.

Christianity --- I wont even go there. Do me a favor though. Dont talk about God in public. Even mentioning God, just makes me want to kill a small animal. Dont say things like "Well, yall know God has his ways" or "Well, we just had to pray to God for his help and he made it all turn out right".

Enjoy your holiday season. Consider going to another country and taking notes. Carry around a notepad and watch how they cook and what they eat and how they act. Take some cooking classes. Practice changing your accent. Maybe, have a surgical operation.

Thank you for your time. Happy Holidays.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

KKF, please post your stateside address so we can tell the IRS enforcement agents where to find you. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

edit: By the way, the fact that you equate ketchup and BBQ sauce only serves to highlight your culinary ignorance.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

Since it all sucks, get the [censored] back out

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

Happy Holidays KKF. Spandex rules. So do really smart young guys who are insanely cultured. God bless.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

Wait, you live over in Asia somewhere? How do you like it?

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

youre asian? learn to drive.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

Great post. I'm copy/pasting it as a MySpace bulletin so all my fat female friends get a clue.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Only rednecks eat ketchup and barbeque sauce.

[/ QUOTE ]

Damn, I put ketchup on my burger yesterday. Does this mean I have to start banging my sister?

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

once you leave the US after christmas, please, do not return. ever.

edit - you are a douche. i'm willing to bet that you had no friends in high school and you're an only child.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

If you are so ashamed of your heritage you can always surrender your passport to the US embassy in Thailand and apply for Thai (or any other country that wants you) citizenship.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
KKF, please post your stateside address so we can tell the IRS enforcement agents where to find you. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I believe you mean INS.

PS I enjoy being fat and lazy.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Only rednecks eat ketchup and barbeque sauce.

[/ QUOTE ]

Damn, I put ketchup on my burger yesterday. Does this mean I have to start banging my sister?

[/ QUOTE ]

Obviously, it is not your fault that you use ketchup. It is all you were taught. Search the internet for a Spanish-American message board. Perhaps, establish a pen pal in Morroco. You will be surprised how many different spices and herbs and seasonings exist beyond the processed, disgusting, unhealthy, ones you find in a bottle at Walmart.

You can buy fresh spices and then cook with them. This makes your food have flavor. Then when you eat it, you can actually taste it.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

Why should we change? For a dirty little know it all []? Americans like being fat and lazy, and we [censored] love ketchup! In fact, I'd love to cover you in it and eat you whole. Just a little snack before dinner.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
If you are so ashamed of your heritage you can always surrender your passport to the US embassy in Thailand and apply for Thai (or any other country that wants you) citizenship.

[/ QUOTE ]

he's not ashamed of his heritage, he's ashamed at how many (probably middle class) Americans live.

he's probably right.

I disagree about the part re: makeup, but he's right on re: exercise and processed food. re: the taste issue, meh, that's unimportant.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Only rednecks eat ketchup and barbeque sauce.

[/ QUOTE ]

Damn, I put ketchup on my burger yesterday. Does this mean I have to start banging my sister?

[/ QUOTE ]

Obviously, it is not your fault that you use ketchup. It is all you were taught. Search the internet for a Spanish-American message board. Perhaps, establish a pen pal in Morroco. You will be surprised how many different spices and herbs and seasonings exist beyond the processed, disgusting, unhealthy, ones you find in a bottle at Walmart.

You can buy fresh spices and then cook with them. This makes your food have flavor. Then when you eat it, you can actually taste it.

[/ QUOTE ]

imagine me coming to thailand and telling everyone to eat differently and live a different lifestyle.

now do you realize how stupid you sound?

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

Must have been a great flight...

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

BTW KKF, this is easily your least original 2p2 post ever. I usually look forward to them.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
BTW KKF, this is easily your least original 2p2 post ever. I usually look forward to them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, I think I saw this epsiode of 20/20 also.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps, establish a pen pal in Morroco.

[/ QUOTE ]

LMFAO

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

Is the problem my tone? Okay. I take it all back. Let me rephrase:

Hi Americans! How are you today? You have a lovely country! I heart Mickey Mouse!

Hey, is that a box of donuts you are eating by yourself? Wow! Those look yummy! Hey, how much do you weight? Only, 350lbs? Wow, you really dont show it!

Say, have you ever heard of chinesse rice soup? You can eat it for breakfast. You can flavor it with fresh bamboo, ginger, chilli pepper and anything else you like. And hey, why not try drinking water instead of Coke, atleast early in the morning!

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Is the problem my tone? Okay. I take it all back. Let me rephrase:

Hi Americans! How are you today? You have a lovely country! I heart Mickey Mouse!

Hey, is that a box of donuts you are eating by yourself? Wow! Those look yummy! Hey, how much do you weight? Only, 350lbs? Wow, you really dont show it!

Say, have you ever heard of chinesse rice soup? You can eat it for breakfast. You can flavor it with fresh bamboo, ginger, chilli pepper and anything else you like. And hey, why not try drinking water instead of Coke, atleast early in the morning!



[/ QUOTE ]

This would've been way more funny.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Is the problem my tone? Okay. I take it all back. Let me rephrase:

Hi Americans! How are you today? You have a lovely country! I heart Mickey Mouse!

Hey, is that a box of donuts you are eating by yourself? Wow! Those look yummy! Hey, how much do you weight? Only, 350lbs? Wow, you really dont show it!

Say, have you ever heard of chinesse rice soup? You can eat it for breakfast. You can flavor it with fresh bamboo, ginger, chilli pepper and anything else you like. And hey, why not try drinking water instead of Coke, atleast early in the morning!

[/ QUOTE ]

you know that there are other countries that have good food other than ones in asia right?

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Is the problem my tone? Okay. I take it all back. Let me rephrase:

Hi Americans! How are you today? You have a lovely country! I heart Mickey Mouse!

Hey, is that a box of donuts you are eating by yourself? Wow! Those look yummy! Hey, how much do you weight? Only, 350lbs? Wow, you really dont show it!

Say, have you ever heard of chinesse rice soup? You can eat it for breakfast. You can flavor it with fresh bamboo, ginger, chilli pepper and anything else you like. And hey, why not try drinking water instead of Coke, atleast early in the morning!

[/ QUOTE ]

OP was way better. Your tone was fine. And I would like to point out that most of what you said goes for Canadians as well. The Christianity thing not so much.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

kane, there are like 50 states, why do you spend your time in all the dumb backwater hick ones?

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

awesome.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

you know i mentioned morroco and spanish food!!!!!!!

And chutney!!!!!!!

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Say, have you ever heard of chinesse rice soup? You can eat it for breakfast. You can flavor it with fresh bamboo, ginger, chilli pepper and anything else you like. And hey, why not try drinking water instead of Coke, atleast early in the morning!

[/ QUOTE ]

The ironic thing is that the people KKF emulates eat that way from necessity, not desire. Give them a few years of steadily increasing incomes and access to McDonalds and Krispy Kreme and they'll be as fat and unhealthy as we are.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

This thread makes me feel the warm fuzzies. [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

all i can do is shake my head and thank god that you're good at poker and can afford to live abroad... because you are what is wrong with this country.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

Not since Tocqueville has there been such an astute critic of American society. What's really amazing is that he conveys so much insight without ever saying anything that's not a cliche (Americans are fat, Walmart/McDonalds, Americans are ignorant of other cultures, Americans drink too much soda, I don't like Southern accents, Americans are fat.) Keep up the good work...

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you are so ashamed of your heritage you can always surrender your passport to the US embassy in Thailand and apply for Thai (or any other country that wants you) citizenship.

[/ QUOTE ]

he's not ashamed of his heritage, he's ashamed at how many (probably middle class) Americans live.

he's probably right.

I disagree about the part re: makeup, but he's right on re: exercise and processed food. re: the taste issue, meh, that's unimportant.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sure.

[ QUOTE ]
Something has to be done about the way you talk. Southern, Midwestern and Northeastern accents are very hard to handle. If a foriegner gets stuck in an airplane next to a family from Boston or Nebraska or Alabama he is likley to hijack the plane, killing himself and everyone abroad.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

the fact that it is a cliche does not make it untrue.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
you know i mentioned morroco and spanish food!!!!!!!

And chutney!!!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

oh yeah...

um.... LEARN TO DRIVE!!!1

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
all i can do is shake my head and thank god that you're good at poker and can afford to live abroad... because you are what is wrong with this country.

[/ QUOTE ]


bingo

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
you are what is wrong with this country.

[/ QUOTE ]

because he has an opinion that challenges the status quo? Give me a break.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Say, have you ever heard of chinesse rice soup? You can eat it for breakfast. You can flavor it with fresh bamboo, ginger, chilli pepper and anything else you like. And hey, why not try drinking water instead of Coke, atleast early in the morning!

[/ QUOTE ]

The ironic thing is that the people KKF emulates eat that way from necessity, not desire. Give them a few years of steadily increasing incomes and access to McDonalds and Krispy Kreme and they'll be as fat and unhealthy as we are.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, Japanesse people are a prime example, right?

They are way too poor to eat at Mcdonalds. It is their poverty that causes them to remain to healthy and live longer then Americans.

Another example is Europeans. Infact, some Europeans enjoy a higher standard of living then Americans, and thus are even fatter and unhealthier... Oh wait....

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you are so ashamed of your heritage you can always surrender your passport to the US embassy in Thailand and apply for Thai (or any other country that wants you) citizenship.

[/ QUOTE ]

he's not ashamed of his heritage, he's ashamed at how many (probably middle class) Americans live.

he's probably right.

I disagree about the part re: makeup, but he's right on re: exercise and processed food. re: the taste issue, meh, that's unimportant.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sure.

[ QUOTE ]
Something has to be done about the way you talk. Southern, Midwestern and Northeastern accents are very hard to handle. If a foriegner gets stuck in an airplane next to a family from Boston or Nebraska or Alabama he is likley to hijack the plane, killing himself and everyone abroad.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

ok, I agree, that accent part was dumb too.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Only rednecks eat ketchup and barbeque sauce.

[/ QUOTE ]

Damn, I put ketchup on my burger yesterday. Does this mean I have to start banging my sister?

[/ QUOTE ]

Obviously, it is not your fault that you use ketchup. It is all you were taught. Search the internet for a Spanish-American message board. Perhaps, establish a pen pal in Morroco. You will be surprised how many different spices and herbs and seasonings exist beyond the processed, disgusting, unhealthy, ones you find in a bottle at Walmart.

You can buy fresh spices and then cook with them. This makes your food have flavor. Then when you eat it, you can actually taste it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, I've got my afternoon snack in front of me:

http://home9.highway.ne.jp/tonbo/010...20Dscf0102.jpg

My Morrocan pen pal has advised me to flavor it with fresh bamboo, ginger, and chili pepper. Hopefully this will enable me to taste it.

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Yes, Japanesse people are a prime example, right?

They are way too poor to eat at Mcdonalds. It is their poverty that causes them to remain to healthy and live longer then Americans.

Another example is Europeans. Infact, some Europeans enjoy a higher standard of living then Americans, and thus are even fatter and unhealthier... Oh wait....

[/ QUOTE ]

Give them time and more access to fatty foods. For instance:

[ QUOTE ]
"In Thailand, a transitional society, the prevalence of obesity in schoolchildren has increased from 12% in 1991 to 16% in 1993." - Mo-suwan L, Junjana C, Puetpaiboon A. Increasing obesity in school children in a transitional society and the effect of the weight control program. SE Asian J Trop Med Public Health 1993;24:590–94

[/ QUOTE ]

It's just the beginning. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Returning to the USA for Xmas...Advice for Americans...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Thank you for your time. Happy Holidays.

[/ QUOTE ]

The fact that you are right about 99% of the things you said is irrelevant since you presented it condescendingly and everyone is attacking you for it.