Favorite Quote
 

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh"

Re: Favorite Quote
 

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain
a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty
nor safety. ---Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of
Pennsylvania, 1759.

or

"The politician attempts to remedy the evil by
increasing the very thing that caused the evil in
the first place: legal plunder." -- Frederic Bastiat (1801 - 1850), French statesman and author.

Favorite BEER Quote
 

My people must drink beer. His majesty was brought up on beer and so were his ancestors and his officers and soldiers. Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be depended on to endure
hardships or to beat enemies. --Frederick the Great, King of Prussia September 13, 1777

Re: Favorite Quote
 

There are so many out there, it's almost impossible to come up with a favorite. But here's a funny one. I wish I remembered who it came from -- some theater director or writer, to an actress, I think at a rehearsal.

"You, my dear, are a birdbrain. And I mean that as an insult to birds!"

Re: Favorite Quote
 

When the only tool you have is a hammer, all problems tend to look like nails - Hungarian Proverb (I also think I've seen it attributed to Maslow)

There are those who see the world the way it really is and those who call them cynics - can't remember

No one has ever gone brok underestimating the taste of the American public - H.L. Menken

Normality is nothing to aspire to. - Me

I have so many quotes running through my heas, but I'll stop here.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

Oh, how could I leave off

No one extolls the virtue of hard work more than the man who inheritted his father's store - Confucious

Re: Favorite Quote
 

Re: Favorite Quote
 

That reminds me of one that goes something like, "The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor from begging, stealing bread, and sleeping under bridges."

Re: Favorite Quote
 

"The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take it's course, and your tools will strike at the right moment." - Bruce Lee

Re: Favorite Quote
 

"I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odors-Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

Re: Favorite Quote
 

If you will it, it is no dream.

Theodor Herzl
State of Israel- 1902

Re: Favorite Quote
 

"That's the last cigarette I ever eat."

Re: Favorite Quote
 

I'm surprised there haven't been more responses, I love a good quote. It would be nice to make a list of all the great quotes I've heard but I'm too lazy for that. Anyway, here are a couple more,

"fortune favours the bold"
"i imagine girls like bugs, have a dim perception that god played a cruel trick on them but really lack the intelligence to comprehend that magnitude of it"

Re: Favorite Quote
 

[ QUOTE ]
"i imagine girls like bugs, have a dim perception that god played a cruel trick on them but really lack the intelligence to comprehend that magnitude of it"

[/ QUOTE ]
LMAO, that's good stuff. Here's one:

'Tis better to have loved and lost... than to have just lost."

Re: Favorite Quote
 

"It's good to be da king."

edit: Mel Brooks, of course.

One of my favorites:
"Consciousness is a being, the nature of which is to be conscious of the nothingness of its being." J.P. Sartre from Being and Nothingness

And for another perspective:
"Relax, kid. We do this every day." - the immortal Earl Weaver.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

Nancy Astor (to Winston Churchill): If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee!

Churchill: And if I were your husband I would drink it.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

Nancy Astor: Winston! You're drunk. You should be ashamed of yourslef.

Churchill: Yes, but in the morning I'll be sober. And you'll still be ugly.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

The better Churchill quote:

Ugly Lady: You, sir, are drunk!
Winston: Yes, but tomorrow I will be sober, and you, madam, will still be ugly.

NT

Re: Favorite Quote
 

wow, what a backlash!

by the way i still think the 1st one is funnier

Re: Favorite Quote
 

Groucho Marx (to contestant on "You Bet Your Life"): 23 kids? That's amazing! How do you have 23 kids?

Contestant: Well, I love children and I love my husband

Groucho: I love my cigar too, but I take it out every now and then!

Re: Favorite Quote
 

haha... yeah groucho is funny [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Favorite Quote
 

[ QUOTE ]
Winston: Yes, but tomorrow I will be sober, and you, madam, will still be ugly.


[/ QUOTE ]

This isn't how he delivered it, as far as I know, and even if he did it doesn't matter because it sounds better the way I think it is:

Churchill: Yes, but you're ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober.

It's just slightly more subtle that way, it makes it much funnier.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

Jeff Bridges "All the Dude ever wanted was his rug back."

Re: Favorite Quote
 

F*ckin' Eh, man.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

nice quote. here's my favorite one:

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt
"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

Re: Favorite Quote
 

"imitation is the sincerist form of flatterY"

Re: Favorite Quote
 

Agreed, the first one is funnier, and probably my favourite quote.

Some good Brendan Behan quotes:

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

I've never been in a situation so bad that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

"progress, far from consisting of change depends on retentiveness - those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it"

that and everything written by oscar wilde - "democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people"

stripsqueez - chickenhawk

Re: Favorite Quote
 

I don;t know if it's a real quote, but there's a great line in one of the old films about Wilde. In it, Alfred Douglas's (Wilde's gay lover) father presents Wilde with a cabbage at a public event as some sort of insulting gift.

"Thank you", says Wilde; "whenever I smell it I shall think of you."

Re: Favorite Quote
 

There are so many...

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Insanity is the exception in individuals. In groups, parties, people, and times, it is the rule

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
-Nietzsche

"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."—Charles Bukowski

Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! [Censored] me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

"I have existed from the morning of the world; And I shall exist until the last stars fall from the heavens. Even though I have taken the form of Gaias Caligula, I am all men, as I am no man, and so I am a God." ---

Caligula after awakening from a 2 month coma. He then went on to kill senators indiscriminately and for fun. He also ordered wild sex orgies with their wives. Before the unexplained coma he was a model emperor.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

Former New Zealand prime minister, Rob Muldoon

"When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, the average IQ of both countries increases"

Re: Favorite Quote
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm surprised there haven't been more responses, I love a good quote. It would be nice to make a list of all the great quotes I've heard but I'm too lazy for that. Anyway, here are a couple more,

"fortune favours the bold"
"i imagine girls like bugs, have a dim perception that god played a cruel trick on them but really lack the intelligence to comprehend that magnitude of it"

[/ QUOTE ]
Quote from Calvin? Probably aren't more responses because there was a favorite quotes thread just a couple of weeks ago.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

[ QUOTE ]
Former New Zealand prime minister, Rob Muldoon

"When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, the average IQ of both countries increases"

[/ QUOTE ]
In Texas we say the same thing about Aggies moving to Louisiana. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Favorite Quote
 

"i need a blowjob from kristy turlington"
"beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy"

Re: Favorite Quote
 

"after this case and the next case, theres only one more case!"

barney -- the simpsons


cheers

Re: Favorite Quote
 

Almost right
A: Winston you're drunk
WC: Yes ma'am and you are ugly, the difference is I'll be sober in the morning.

Cody

Re: Favorite Quote
 

* Now talking in #twoplustwo
* Topic is 'I find that a duck's opinion of me is very much dependent on whether I have bread.'
* Set by ZeeJustin!ZeeJustin@zeejustin.student.umd.edu on Tue Nov 30 07:57:01

Competition over. Go home folks.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

The versions I see here seem dumbed down and much less funny than the rendering of it that I remember.

Woman to Churchill: "You are drunk!"

Churchill: And you, madam, are very ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."

Much, much better.

Re: Favorite Quote
 

My favorite Wilde one is, "I can resist anything -- except temptation."