Two Plus Two Older Archives - *Almost* a fight!

last time I was anywhere near a fight was about 7 years ago...my roommate and his brother and I were out barhopping on Sunset in L.A...

We were leaving one bar that was way too crowded and had to push our way towards the door...not being rude, just trying to get out, you know? Some guy apparantly didn't like us saying "excuse me" and sliding past him, but we just nodded and walked out the door, as it was too loud to hear what he said anyway.

The three of us get down to the garage level and are walking towards our car when 5 guys come running down, blocking our way.

You know the type: college boys with too much beer and muscle but without a hint of how to actually fight. The didn't like being bumped in a crowded bar (go figure!) and wanted to prove their manhood, I guess.

We tried to diffuse the situation by laughing it off and saying "okay, sorry, goodnight"

But one guy get's in my face and chest bumps me - you know the drill. (You always know when a guy has no clue about fighting - he gets in your face, leaving himself wide open for any kind of assault).

Well, I was a Special Forces OP once upon a time. My roommate's brother, Erik, was still a Navy Seal then.

Bryan, my roommate, just starts laughing and sits down on the hood of a car. He says, shaking his head, "You guys don't know what you just started."

College Boy is still in my face so I calmly bend his thumb back, turn him around to face his buddies, and kick him in the ass back in their direction. I'm the calm, one, see...

Erik, on the other hand is a nutcase.

He screams at the top of kis lungs and literally RIPS his shirt off, revealing rock hard muscle, tattoos, and scars. And, oh yes - two old bullet wounds.

He screams again, like this is the happiest day of his life and takes his shoes off. He knows all sorts of martial arts moves. I don't, so I keep my shoes on.

Erik points at the college guys and says, "I'm gonna love this. I haven't killed anyone in four years!"

Granted, this does sound a bit like Christopher Walken in "True Romance," but whatever points he gets docked for that he more than makes up for in the fact that he's telling the truth. He's killed people. For our country. I haven't, thank god.

Anyway, the guy I kicked looks like he's ready to come back at me but the other four have had enough of "psycho theater," and start backing up.

Bryan is taunting them from his car - "What, it's 5 against 2! I won't even fight, I'm a pussy! Come on!"

Erik is leaping up and down, pounding his chest and, I swear to god - howling like a wolf. I'm just crouched, ready for action. And smiling.

Finally, Erik take a run at one of them and all five guys SPRINT up the ramp and out of the garage so fast, I thought they were flying.

End of confrotation.

Moral to the story - do NOT get yourself involved in a ridiculuos alteraction over something stupid - traffic BS, drunken BS, whatever. It ain't worth it.

Because you never know who that guy you want to fight is. Could be a pussy. Could be a crazed Navy Seal just looking for blood. You just never know.