Re: Keeping secrets
 

[ QUOTE ]
when someone tells you a secret, you keep it. if you tell this secret to someone, the person you told now knows you don't keep secrets. no one will ever tell you a secret again.

so shut the [censored] up.

[/ QUOTE ]

the person knows you don't keep secrets that you believe someone really needs to know about, because you care about that person.

seriously, not doing what you think is in your friend's best interests for fear of being left out of future gossip from said friend is stupid.

if my friends trust me to do what i think is right that's better than having them trust me to keep a secret to protect the person who couldnt keep his mouth shut to me himself.

Re: Keeping secrets
 

Secrets go up the pyramid. If someone tells me dirt that involves a close buddy (inner circle), I'm going to tell him. If a close buddy tells me dirt about a fringe friend, there is no way in hell I'm telling the fringe friend.

Doesn't really matter what the dirt/secret is.

Re: Keeping secrets
 

[ QUOTE ]
A good friend tells you a secret about two other friends, about one cheating on the other. The one being cheated on is also a really good friend and totally clueless.You are not supposed to know any of this. You don't know the cheater. Would you tell your good friend who is being cheated on? If they were in a serious relatinship, getting married or engaged would that make a difference?

edited: to make slightly less confusing

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No, I wouldn't tell.

Two reasons both very important and can't be dismissed.

First, you were told in confidence. That means you don't really "own" the information, as something you can trade freely. If it was told to you in confidence, you have no right to tell it.

It doesn't matter if you agree or don't agree on the reason for it being kept in confidence. That decision is made by the person who told you, not you at your discretion.

Otherwise, there's really no such thing as a secret, no such thing as your word, and probably no such thing as friendship.

The second major reason why not to tell secrets is that you may think you know that it's not traceable if you tell, but you could be dead wrong. So could the person who told you. Blabbing can cause a chain reaction that goes all the way back to the original bigmouth or, as it sometimes happens, innocent party. Don't gamble with your friend's rep or with the relatively unbusted state of his face by blabbing.

Basically, you owe it to people to keep their confidence, and when you start playing around with that, you can screw over a lot of people really fast, including yourself.

Of course, there are limits. If somebody is out back setting the house on fire, etc. But don't make yourself unworthy of trust or make people pay a price for trusting you.

Re: Keeping secrets
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A good friend tells you a secret about two other friends, about one cheating on the other. The one being cheated on is also a really good friend and totally clueless.You are not supposed to know any of this. You don't know the cheater. Would you tell your good friend who is being cheated on? If they were in a serious relatinship, getting married or engaged would that make a difference?

edited: to make slightly less confusing

[/ QUOTE ]

No, I wouldn't tell.

Two reasons both very important and can't be dismissed.

First, you were told in confidence. That means you don't really "own" the information, as something you can trade freely. If it was told to you in confidence, you have no right to tell it.

It doesn't matter if you agree or don't agree on the reason for it being kept in confidence. That decision is made by the person who told you, not you at your discretion.

Otherwise, there's really no such thing as a secret, no such thing as your word, and probably no such thing as friendship.

The second major reason why not to tell secrets is that you may think you know that it's not traceable if you tell, but you could be dead wrong. So could the person who told you. Blabbing can cause a chain reaction that goes all the way back to the original bigmouth or, as it sometimes happens, innocent party. Don't gamble with your friend's rep or with the relatively unbusted state of his face by blabbing.

Basically, you owe it to people to keep their confidence, and when you start playing around with that, you can screw over a lot of people really fast, including yourself.

Of course, there are limits. If somebody is out back setting the house on fire, etc. But don't make yourself unworthy of trust or make people pay a price for trusting you.

[/ QUOTE ]

So you sit by and watch your friend get hurt, and possibly hurt badly? All because you have another friend stupid enough to tell you something he should know better than to tell you.

That doesnt sound like a very Blarg plan.

You wanna talk about trust, what about the trust your friend (the one whos getting cheated on) places in you by being really good friends with you, friendship isnt something to take likely, its not just some nice title to introduce someone by, there is a major trust shared by close friends. You know hes got your back, and youve got his. Sitting by and watching him get hurt breaks that trust. And if I was that friend and found out later that you knew and didnt tell me, that would cut really deep.

You said it yourself, there are limits, and this is one of those times.

Re: Keeping secrets
 

[ QUOTE ]
when someone tells you a secret, you keep it. if you tell this secret to someone, the person you told now knows you don't keep secrets. no one will ever tell you a secret again.

[/ QUOTE ]

What are you in 2nd grade?

Re: Keeping secrets
 

Blarg,

what if someone told you in confidence that they were going to kill someone? Is it alright to keep a secret then?

what if they were planning on torturing someone or planning to distribute meth as candy to little kids?

Some things should be kept in confidence, others shouldn't

Melch

Re: Keeping secrets
 

[censored] any dick who tells me i can't tell my close friend his/her partner is cheating on him/her. i don't really give a [censored] about keeping that loser as a friend.

Re: Keeping secrets
 

[ QUOTE ]
[censored] any dick who tells me i can't tell my close friend his/her partner is cheating on him/her. i don't really give a [censored] about keeping that loser as a friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

I tried writing something like that but it didnt look correct, but yeah this person doesn't sound like that good of a friend.

Think of it if you were the person who was getting cheated on, and one of your good friends told another of your friends not to tell you. That seems pretty [censored] up.

Re: Keeping secrets
 

Ok. Addition to the situation. The couple has broken up, and you were not told the info until after they broke up. Now do you just let this thing die or do you still tell him.

Re: Keeping secrets
 

You said it. Women are such hypocritical [censored]. They are MUCH worse than guys and much more manipulative and evil about it. I've seen it time and time again, and also had the misfortune of finding out the hard way a while back.

Women are evil. Period.