Re: what\'s better?
 

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I believe he said he doesn't get out much.

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Well that does make it difficult.

Re: what\'s better?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I believe he said he doesn't get out much.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well that does make it difficult.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, I'm involved in some new meetings now, with like 400-1100 people. I have a commitment at one where I have a chance to get to know a young lady who is roughly my age, pretty cute, friendly and outgoing. I failed to ask her how much sober time she has, but she seems to know all the other young women there, so if she thinks I'm a good guy, I might get some cool new opportunities.

Re: what\'s better?
 

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I have been directed to leave her alone until she has more sober time. I still like her a lot. We never fought. I see her all the time at meetings still, and I can tell she still likes me too. Its hard.

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Good for your sponsor, and good for you. It is hard, but best in the long run. Be friendly, but don't hang out with her.
Do go out with other women, even just friendly dates that you don't expect to go anywhere.

Re: what\'s better?
 

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Do go out with other women, even just friendly dates that you don't expect to go anywhere.

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what's the rationale here?

Re: what\'s better?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Do go out with other women, even just friendly dates that you don't expect to go anywhere.

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what's the rationale here?

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1) get her off your mind.
2) you never know who will strike your fancy once you get to know them.
3) alcoholics tend to attract each other. (and the co-dependant) you might find a better match with someone you are not immediately attracted to.

Re: what\'s better?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Do go out with other women, even just friendly dates that you don't expect to go anywhere.

[/ QUOTE ]

what's the rationale here?

[/ QUOTE ]

1) get her off your mind.
2) you never know who will strike your fancy once you get to know them.
3) alcoholics tend to attract each other. (and the co-dependant) you might find a better match with someone you are not immediately attracted to.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks I agree completely.

For some reason I read your sentence as, "Do not. . ." at first.

Re: what\'s better?
 

on a funny aside, I printed out the thread where I was asking, "should I make a move?" and gave it to her a few weeks later. The first time I kissed her was the day after I made that post.

I thought she'd think it was cute, but she was actually mad that I'd talk about that with strangers, instead of talking to her. I think she's over it, but you never know.

Re: what\'s better?
 

Last night I called her.

I said, "I know I've been acting cold toward you lately. I just want you to know it has nothing to do with how much I like you. It has one-hundred percent to do with sponsor direction. Last time I told you we couldn't hang out I was kind of emotional and mean about it, so I just wanted to clear that up. I like you just as much as I ever did, and that's why it's hard for me. I couldn't possibly leave you thinking I'm pissed off or wounded or anything like that."

Her response, "Oh okay. I'll give you a call. Maybe we can get together this weekend." [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

So I tell my sponsor this, and he says, "That's it. No more communication." I deleted her number from my cell.

Re: what\'s better?
 

What's up with your sponsor?

Is this typical?

(I'm being genuine here, I really didn't realize they have this much control over who you interact with)

Re: what\'s better?
 

Are you also a scientologist, by any chance?