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-   -   Online poker rigged? (http://archives2.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=368796)

Dominic 10-31-2005 09:05 PM

Re: Online poker rigged?
 
[ QUOTE ]
FROM THE DESK OF THE POKER GODS

Dear Mr./Mrs. Lane:

Thank you for your recent inquiry into our operations. We welcome your feedback and are always interested to hear the comments of those whose destinies we control.

In response to your specific question regarding whether we rig online poker sites, I would like to assure you that we do no such thing. Our interest is purely in promoting the good times and fun experiences that you share with your fellow players. Please be assured that we have much more important things to do than to alter the outcomes of the millions of poker hands played each day worldwide.

Rather, we prefer to focus our efforts on you, the player. For example, why would we bother trying to alter your cards when we can just manipulate you to go in on a weak holding like 4-5? Or mess with your confidence, making you play your AA weakly.

In fact, we find that we get the most value out of our activities by simply withholding key logical concepts from weaker players like yourself - concepts like variance and pot size. I have already forwarded your comments to our R&D section, as an example of how effective this strategy has been.

I hope that you have found this response informative. We thank you for taking an interest of the work of the poker puppetmasters. We are watching you.

Sincerely,

TPG

[/ QUOTE ]

Form letters suck.

10-31-2005 09:18 PM

Re: Online poker rigged?
 
[ QUOTE ]
FROM THE DESK OF THE POKER GODS

Dear Mr./Mrs. Lane:

Thank you for your recent inquiry into our operations. We welcome your feedback and are always interested to hear the comments of those whose destinies we control.

In response to your specific question regarding whether we rig online poker sites, I would like to assure you that we do no such thing. Our interest is purely in promoting the good times and fun experiences that you share with your fellow players. Please be assured that we have much more important things to do than to alter the outcomes of the millions of poker hands played each day worldwide.

Rather, we prefer to focus our efforts on you, the player. For example, why would we bother trying to alter your cards when we can just manipulate you to go in on a weak holding like 4-5? Or mess with your confidence, making you play your AA weakly.

In fact, we find that we get the most value out of our activities by simply withholding key logical concepts from weaker players like yourself - concepts like variance and pot size. I have already forwarded your comments to our R&D section, as an example of how effective this strategy has been.

I hope that you have found this response informative. We thank you for taking an interest of the work of the poker puppetmasters. We are watching you.

Sincerely,

TPG

[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks for such a great letter!!!! I just couldnt stop laughing for half an hour. Men, was it only me or what!!

silkyslim 10-31-2005 09:20 PM

Re: Online poker rigged?
 
it is totally rigged. these idiots are playing poker and they dont know how to spell it and im losing to bad beats. f this game, i dont wanna play anymore

10-31-2005 09:32 PM

Re: Online poker rigged?
 
[ QUOTE ]
Form letters suck.

[/ QUOTE ]

Usually true, I agree. This one is a work of art.

[img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

vexvelour 11-01-2005 12:22 AM

Re: Online poker rigged?
 
Yeah man when my pocket aces goes down it's like what the [censored] Internet Poker Provider, you've got it out for me.

11-01-2005 10:59 AM

Re: Online poker rigged?
 
[ QUOTE ]

Form letters suck.

[/ QUOTE ]

FROM THE DESK OF the CEO OF FORM LETTERS INC.

Dear Mr./Mrs. Dominic:

Thank you for your recent inquiry into our product. We are always grateful when the public takes an interest in our work.

I found your commentary to be both insightful and reasonable. I have shared your thoughts with our marketing department. They reviewed your ideas and workshopped them with some focus groups and have come to the conclusion that, in fact, it is you who sucks.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to write to us here at Form Letters Inc.

Sincerely,

Suck my Balls

Dominic 11-01-2005 01:55 PM

Re: Online poker rigged?
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Form letters suck.

[/ QUOTE ]

FROM THE DESK OF the CEO OF FORM LETTERS INC.

Dear Mr./Mrs. Dominic:

Thank you for your recent inquiry into our product. We are always grateful when the public takes an interest in our work.

I found your commentary to be both insightful and reasonable. I have shared your thoughts with our marketing department. They reviewed your ideas and workshopped them with some focus groups and have come to the conclusion that, in fact, it is you who sucks.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to write to us here at Form Letters Inc.

Sincerely,

Suck my Balls

[/ QUOTE ]

I doubt your name is really "Suck My Balls." Who's your supervisor???

vexvelour 11-01-2005 02:03 PM

Re: Online poker rigged?
 
[ QUOTE ]
Sincerely,

Suck my Balls

[/ QUOTE ]

sweet.

11-01-2005 09:41 PM

Re: Online poker rigged?
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Sincerely,

Suck my Balls

[/ QUOTE ]

sweet.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is that "sweet" like how Cartman would say it or "sweet" like, "wook at the sweet wittle puppy"?

Komodo 11-02-2005 06:03 AM

Re: Online poker rigged?
 
Unfortuntely the only answer you will get in this forum is "you suck at poker".
But youre probably experiencing the rake factor.
It is mathematically expected that most people who start out as big or small winners will end up as loser (or at least have a tougher time.) later because of the rake.


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