Re: Girlfriend Advice Needed
 

Tell her, apologize and break up. If she wants you back, deal with it then. It's not worth deceiving her after one month of being together. You probably subconsciously don't want to be in a relationship or you wouldn't have undermined it in this fashion.

I respect the opinion of people who think it's better to live with the pain, but honestly, I think most people want the truth, regardless of the pain. I'm one of them, and having been cheated on I can say it's infinitely better knowing about it than wondering. My gf is gone now but at least she was honest about it. You should be honest too, and realize it's probably the end. Does this suck? Yeah. But perhaps the pain you've created will serve you well the next time you want to pull this [censored].

Re: Girlfriend Advice Needed
 

If you feel bad about what you did, don't do it again. Telling her about what you did will make both of you feel worse, and no good can come of it. On the other hand, if you think that you can't control yourself in the future, its probably better that you end the relationship by any means necessary, because neither you nor your girlfriend will be happy with your repeated infidelity.

I sort of understand what your feeling in a distilled way. One time, I woke up thinking "OMFG, I cheated on Mollee! I wish I were dead, I am such a piece of shite." I quickly realized that it was just an extremely vivid dream, and I had done nothing wrong. Incidentally, I almost wish I had cheated on her, because she turned out to be such a rotten whore, but thats more than a little off topic.

Kind regards,
Snowball

Re: Girlfriend Advice Needed
 

Thank you all for the advice you've given, it's much appreciated.

I agree with the first couple of posters, in my scenario it's probably better to forget about it and just don't do it again. We all make mistakes that we do regret, it's part of life.

We can't wallow forever. I think people saying that the fact that it happens means I don't wanna be in a relationship with her isn't really true. What people do when they're drunk (i'm not using it as an excuse - alcohol is NOT an excuse EVER) doesn't really reflect their true feelings....sometimes it does like when you tell a friend they're great etc, but alot of the time it's just [censored].

I'll just see how it goes, try and forget about it for now...these things happen but you can't wallow forever.

As for "Bright" asking what you have to say to a girl to be able to sleep with her....well i'm no advice giver, but IMHO it doesn't matter what you say to girls, it matters how you act, in terms of self confidence, but not arrogance (even though some shallow girls also dig arrogance).

The moment you show a girl that you're happy and comfortable with yourself and who you are, and that you're just as good as her, she'll easily be yours (of course this is not always the case, but it's the best way to act around a girl - just be self confident).

The problem is that self confidence can't be taught, you've just gotta find it in yourself to believe that you're a great person, and deserve to be able to make friends with other decent people, and have relationships with nice people, who are also self confident.

It's a sad fate, but most girls don't want to be with a guy who is underconfident. Since we don't make the rules, we should at least stick to them [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

This is all just my opinion and of course it doesn't fit in with what many people probably believe, but FWIW that's my naivety at 21 years of age.

Cheers guys.

Re: Girlfriend Advice Needed
 

Hi Laddy,

I think your outlook on striking I fine balance between self-confidence and arrogance is correct. I think that self-confidence with a dash of humility here and there is a winning combination. Appropriate displays of humility reveal that you are comfortable with who you are, and aren't inconsistent with self-confidence.

I've noticed for myself that when I am depressed, woman don't respond very well to me. Fortunately, I feel good about myself right now, and the ladies are responding well too. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Best wishes,
Snowball

Re: Girlfriend Advice Needed
 

[ QUOTE ]
I saw a movie recently, where one of the guys in it said some of the best advice in regards to this that I have heard. The point he made was that if you really like her, then telling her is the worst thing you can do. The hard part is living with your own pain for having done that. Telling her would just shift the burden of pain to her so that you can "feel betteer" about yourself. That's the weak way out. What you have to do now is learn from your mistake, deal with the pain of knowing that you cheated on her, and then lie to her-- don't tell her, but more importantly, don't do it again. Its not fun, and it would be a lot better if you hadnt done that, but all that doesnt matter anymore. This is the hand you've been dealt, and now you have to proceed from here.

[/ QUOTE ]

Holy crap! that is some ridiculoulsy good advice. I never really did thought of it that way. I cheated on a gf that I really was in love with many years ago and I've felt like the biggest A-hole ever since. This was the sweetest girl I've ever met and she treated me as the best thing that has ever happened to her. Sadly this wasn't the first time I cheated on past girlfriends. The others I didn't care about but this one really did hurt. It only happened once and it was definately not worth it.

I'm such a jerk and ended up breaking it up with her because I couldn't live with myself. She really was the sweetest girl in the world and I truly felt she deserved someone a whole lot better than me. I know that sometimes when you really love someone you want them to be happy even if that person is not with you.
Even to this day I still feel like crap though, because we're still friends and I never did tell her. I hate to keep this from her but the bottom line is I'm such a coward. Your post does kind of make me feel better. I've definately learnt from it.

Re: Girlfriend Advice Needed
 

My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me a year into our relationship. I found out through friends, and it was completely devistating.


Please have the balls to tell her.

This is so important. Trust me on this one, we prefer honesty over anything. If she dumps you, you deserve it. If she doesn't, don't ever cheat on her again or I'm coming for those prized nuts of yours.

Edit: I probably should mention that afterwards I forgave him and we've been together another 2 years. Just tell her.

Re: Girlfriend Advice Needed
 

Nothing good can come out of telling her. Just make sure its a well kept secret. !!!

Re: Girlfriend Advice Needed
 

Hell no man. Sooner or later she will find out and:

Increment of time you take to tell her = wrath x5

Re: Girlfriend Advice Needed
 

your boyfriend told u he cheated and you took him back?
hes done it again and you deserve it for telling him its ok

Re: Girlfriend Advice Needed
 

[ QUOTE ]
your boyfriend told u he cheated and you took him back?
hes done it again and you deserve it for telling him its ok

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't remember asking for your opinion. This is not the case, and don't try to pass me off as a moron just because I gave the kid the right advice.

Sometimes good people just [censored] up.