Re: Best News I Have Heard All Week Re: The Onion
 

this is great news (and wow, is their site slow!). here's one of my all-time favorites: crazy man announces plans to stand in doorway, yell at cars all day

Re: Best News I Have Heard All Week Re: The Onion
 

[ QUOTE ]
this is great news (and wow, is their site slow!). here's one of my all-time favorites: crazy man announces plans to stand in doorway, yell at cars all day

[/ QUOTE ]

It's always slow on wednesday(s). I actually stopped reading the onion for a while because they removed the print option.

Need something to take into my private bathroom ya know.

Re: Best News I Have Heard All Week Re: The Onion
 

[ QUOTE ]
Addressing reporters, the 47-year-old Fife said, "At approximately 9:30 a.m. on the day in question, shortly after I finish lunging at dogs, I will proceed to the front steps of the Simmons Building and yell loudly for nine hours. The screaming will be broken by a 15-minute fit of rigid catatonia, most likely in the late afternoon."

Among the topics Fife plans to address during his nine-hour rant: the ace of diamonds, bookshelves, the man trying to kill him, those goddamn bananas, people from St. Louis, closed-up straws, Trapper John, MD, and papers, papers everywhere.

"I may briefly stray from my agenda to urinate into the revolving door at the building's entrance," Fife said, "but, for the most part, I will focus on the task at hand and spend the bulk of the day yelling at the various passing cars."

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, when they are on, they are ON.

Re: Best News I Have Heard All Week Re: The Onion
 

man this thread could get huge...just think of all the herbert kornfeld, smoov b, and jim anchower columns that are awesome. COMEDY PLUTONIUM!

Re: Best News I Have Heard All Week Re: The Onion
 

are they describing me and my friends?

Re: Best News I Have Heard All Week Re: The Onion
 

yeah i like the cruise, smoove b and herbert kornfeld.

also the "depends aren't very dependable" article was genius. "Everything was going fine till taco day"

Re: Best News I Have Heard All Week Re: The Onion
 

Robert's Rules of Order

Re: Best News I Have Heard All Week Re: The Onion
 

This was always one of my favorites.

Re: Best News I Have Heard All Week Re: The Onion
 

This is awesome. I would link to one, but it's the one you linked to.

Re: Best News I Have Heard All Week Re: The Onion
 

lol, these are pretty good