Re: \"Now that we\'re just friends. . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
Slight kissinng and hugging for two weeks is moving too fast? I don't understand the "slow down" thing either.

[/ QUOTE ]

too fast emotionally, not physically.

its hard to describe.

Re: \"Now that we\'re just friends. . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Slight kissinng and hugging for two weeks is moving too fast? I don't understand the "slow down" thing either.

[/ QUOTE ]

too fast emotionally, not physically.

its hard to describe.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude what I am saying is the emotions are there are they are not. If they are there, pretending they are not is pointless. As long as you aren't rushing to get married or move in together, farting around and pretending to be playing it cool is pointless and something kids do.

Re: \"Now that we\'re just friends. . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Slight kissinng and hugging for two weeks is moving too fast? I don't understand the "slow down" thing either.

[/ QUOTE ]

too fast emotionally, not physically.

its hard to describe.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude what I am saying is the emotions are there are they are not. If they are there, pretending they are not is pointless. As long as you aren't rushing to get married or move in together, farting around and pretending to be playing it cool is pointless and something kids do.

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored] is giving good advice rather than a good insult, so heed his words well. Emotionally, you're going to feel things, and you can't 'slow them down'. I wouldn't propose to a girl you've known for 10 minutes, but if you're both really feeling each other, then that means something. What's the deal with the age thing? Give us some more background here. me and [censored] will keep the idiots out of this thread [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Re: \"Now that we\'re just friends. . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
farting around and pretending to be playing it cool is pointless and something kids do.

[/ QUOTE ]

yes. this has been the situation for the past week. It has been kind of uncomfortable for me. For those too lazy to read the thread I linked, the issue here is that she is a newly sober person. Most people suggest that newly sober people shouldn't be dating.

Take that out of the equation, and I agree that the whole sequence of events is absurd.

We're meeting up at a diner late-night tonight to talk one on one for the first time since the conversation I discussed in the original post (which was last Sunday).

Re: \"Now that we\'re just friends. . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
What's the deal with the age thing? Give us some more background here. me and [censored] will keep the idiots out of this thread [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I linked it in the OP, but I'll repost it here:

[ QUOTE ]

Okay, so I'm not the most experienced guy with women. I've had one significant relationship. It was for two years, and it wasn't very healthy. I had a few half-assed attempts since then, but basically gave up on the whole idea.

I work a lot of hours, and I am heavily involved in local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. dating/sex life has been a very low priority for me.

But then this girl came into our meetings. She is a very attractive young lady, who just came back from travelling the country following around music festivals and I guess just generally being a hippy.

She actually gravitated towards me and we have been hanging out quite a bit. I'm 25 with about three years sober, and she's 20, with about a month sober. The reason I mention this is because people newly sober tend to be emotionally unstable, as their minds and bodies are going through a lot of changes. She has said that she wants to wait to get into a relationship until she is healthier.

But in the meantime, so far we have gone out for coffee and or dinner after the meetings several times. She has been over to my house twice to watch movies and sit in the hot tub. She came to my 4th of July BBQ, and we were playing around with the neighbor kids in the grass. We've both met each other's parents. This Sunday I have field level seats for the Dodgers/Giants game for us to go to. I have a reputation I guess for being a "safe/non-preditor" guy as far as AA people go. She seems really comfortable hanging out with me and talking with me. There is a lot of friendly touching going on, but I haven't kissed her or anything yet. This all being in the last three weeks.

My parents and best friend say we're dating. I say we're hanging out. My friends treat us like a couple when we're together. I told her, "I don't think there's a need to label this." Her response was, "I'm really glad you said that."

Has anybody had a romantic relationship that began like this?

Does it sound like I need to make a move before I get put on friend status and lose any opportunity I might have?

Should I do my best to be her friend and let whatever happens happen?

It feels like 8th grade again.


BTW. Please don't tell me to SIIHP. It's too big.


[/ QUOTE ]

Re: \"Now that we\'re just friends. . .
 

25 & 20? please it's not even worth mentioning.

You guys have already crossed the no dating/relationship line, pretending to not feel how you really do doesn't change anything.

Re: \"Now that we\'re just friends. . .
 

[censored] is dead on here.

Re: \"Now that we\'re just friends. . .
 

I have been in relationships like you describe here.. where it's not just about sex (something the people on here with the metality of beavis and butthead on here wouldn't understand).

Right now you are in the beginning stages of a relationship, just because you have not had sex doesn't disqualify this as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

As you stated in your OP she is going through a lot of changes (both physically and mentally) due to her sobriety. I'm sure her well-being is just as important to you as it is to her since you obviously care for her very much.


If your relationship is not interfering with her recovery then I see nothing wrong with it. Sure you may both be frightened by the feelings you are having (too close,too soon), but thats part of what makes falling in love great.

The most important thing is how you two feel about each other. Don't get upset when others judge your relationship and feel the need to "label" it. People will refer to you as a couple because for all intents and purposes that is what you present yourselves as.

If you both are happy spending time together getting to know one another then why worry about what others think???

Just take it as slow as you need to. When the time is right you will SIIHP.

Re: \"Now that we\'re just friends. . .
 

id like to help you complete the subject line of your thread stranger.

"Now that we're just friends. . . ---I can use you to buy me all the nice things I want from clothing to jewelry and take me out to nice restaurants to eat."

hope you take a stand bro.

Re: \"Now that we\'re just friends. . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
25 & 20? please it's not even worth mentioning.


[/ QUOTE ]

I'm really not trying to debate you here. I value all your input so far.

But when I made reference to her being really young, I didn't mean young compared to me, I meant young in general.

As in there might be differences in meaning of the statement "I love you" for someone who is 20, 30, or 40. Emotional maturity and whatnot.