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-   -   Dear bison... June 2005. (http://archives2.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=276347)

Lawrence Ng 06-19-2005 10:21 PM

Re: Dear bison... June 2005.
 
Dear Bison,

I have some nightly flatulence problems that cause some discomfort while I am sitting and being idle. The problem is further amplified whenever I am masturbating. I would like to be able to masturbate without feeling like I am ready to let one rip. Do you have any suggestions?

Lawrence

THATWACOKID 06-19-2005 10:23 PM

Re: Dear bison... June 2005.
 
[ QUOTE ]
If your self-image depends on becoming a scratch golfer, then I would suggest changing how you evaluate yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]

It has nothing to do with my self-image. I know a countless number of men who wonder to themselves why they didn't try 110% in their sport. I realize that my numbers aren't overly impressive, but when I WAS working my ass off I improved with amazing consistency. When I am 35 years old, I don't wanna look back and wonder what might have been. Days like today make me kick myself in the ass for blowing off the last two years. I wish I could keep the same mindset I currently have.

TripleH68 06-19-2005 10:29 PM

Re: Dear bison... June 2005.
 
Dear bison,

I have been dating a wonderful girl for two years. We have a vacation planned in August to Niagara Falls, Toronto and the lakes to the north. I am going to ask her to marry me.

What I need to know is how, when and where I should propose?

At the beginning or middle of the week long trip?
In public or in private?
Niagara Falls, Toronto or lakeside getaway?
Maid of the Mist, Niagara Glen, spanish aerocar, etc.

Please help bison, TripleH.

bisonbison 06-19-2005 10:34 PM

Re: Dear bison... June 2005.
 
Dear Waco,

That thing you're talking about where you're 15 years older and looking back and feeling like you wasted your life? That's self-image.

Being great at golf or poker or physics or almost anything will not make you a better man, husband, father, etc.

Do what makes you truly happy. That's it. If you feel like a failure 15 years from now, golf will have precious little to do with it.

bisonbison 06-19-2005 10:35 PM

Re: Dear bison... June 2005.
 
Dear Lawrence,

Cut out dairy.

bisonbison 06-19-2005 10:36 PM

Re: Dear bison... June 2005.
 
Dear TripleH,

Beginning. Private. Have a bed handy. "I love you. Will you marry me?"

gusser 06-19-2005 10:52 PM

Re: Dear bison... June 2005.
 
Dear Bison,

Can you please get someone to make Google Scholar not link to sites that require a subscription. Trying to use it for research is a giant PITA because all the promising links require money. (You do work for google right? If not my question is how can i use feng shui to make my desk feel less clutered)

gus

ChoicestHops 06-19-2005 10:53 PM

Re: Dear bison... June 2005.
 
Dear Bison,

Last night I hung out with this girl. The night was going good at first, as we were hooking up consistently. I did not drink that much, probably a half fifth of some Evan Williams. However, when we went back to my place, I [censored] up.

I assume the alcohol was messing with me as I had a difficult time getting it up, thus me only getting a few strokes in but never really having the sexual act. I have been extremely plastered in my day and still had been able to perform in past experiences. I guess lack of sleep is another culprit, as the past 3 nights I have probably gotten a toal of 14 hours of sleep.

What do I tell this girl the next time I call her? Im sure she thinks Im some pussy or possibly gay.

Esteban 06-19-2005 10:54 PM

Re: Dear bison... June 2005.
 
Dear Bison,

I recently have come to realization that the only that sucks worse than my guitar playing ability are the guitars I'm trying to sell. What is my purpose in life?

Thank you, brother. God bless.

bisonbison 06-19-2005 11:04 PM

Re: Dear bison... June 2005.
 
Dear ChoicestHops,

Don't worry about it. Either she cares or she doesn't and if she doesn't care then you can prove your heterosexuality some other time. If she does care then there's nothing you can really do.


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