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- - post a joke (http://archives2.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=318049)

The President wants to find out which agency is the best, so he gets together teams from the FBI, the CIA and the NYPD. He tells them, "Look guys, there's a rabbit in these woods and I want you to find him and bring him to me. FBI, you're up first."

The FBI agents go in and come out after a while with no rabbit. The special agent in charge explains, "Mr. President, we installed extensive surveillance devices throughout the woods and expect to apprehend the rabbit shortly." To which the President replies, "Bullshit ! You didn't bring me the rabbit! CIA, you're up next."

The CIA team goes in and comes out after a while with no rabbit. The Deputy Director explains, "Mr. President, we caught the rabbit and turned him, so now he's out there operating as a double agent." To which the President replies, "Bullshit! You didn't bring me the rabbit and I bet you never even saw him. NYPD, you're up next."

The NYPD team goes into the woods. After a while, a bear staggers out of the woods, half-conscious and bleeding from every orifice and shouting: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit. I'm a [censored] rabbit."

[ QUOTE ]

Bwahahahahahah, rolf, lmfao, pwn3d, ship it, holla, batch, 3u0, wtf, brb, afk, etc....

[/ QUOTE ]

For some reason this was the funniest thing in the whole thread to me.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Bwahahahahahah, rolf, lmfao, pwn3d, ship it, holla, batch, 3u0, wtf, brb, afk, etc....

[/ QUOTE ]

For some reason this was the funniest thing in the whole thread to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

you're not alone

It's little Jimmy's Birthday. He get's all sorts of presents and also a rabbit. He just loves the rabbit, doesn't play with anything else but that crazy rabbit. Paddy he calls him.

So everyday after school he inmediatly goes to the garden to play with Paddy. After a week his mother is cleaning some sh1t in the garden and finds the rabbit dead. The mother thinks "OMG Jimmy will be devestated! I have to get a new rabit!" She dumps Paddy in the bin but it's too late to buy a new one: Jimmy comes home.

The mother is crying "Oh my dear son, I have something terrible to tell you"

"What's wrong momma?!" Jimmy asks scared

"It's Paddy. He's dead..."

"Don't be all in tears mom! Come one! There are worst things that can happen! We have to stay strong, we'll get over it" Jimmy replies.

"Wow!" the mother thinks. He handles it's pretty well. Didn't expect that. "OK son, you have some candy and go and play in the garden." And so he does. He's playing in the garden a sees Paddy in the bin. He get's completely hysterical and runs crying to his mother.

"What's wrong Jimmy?" she asks

"Mom, mom, Paddy is dead!!" he cries

"But I already told you that!"

"No, mom, I thought you said: Daddy is dead"

Bill and Hillary Clinton are moving out of their house. Hillary finds a box underneath their bed. It contains three empty aluminum cans, and five thousand dollars cash. She confronts her husband with these strange items. Bill tells her, "Honey, I must confess. Every time I cheated on you, I put a can in that box."

Hillary is furious, but considers. Gennifer, Paula, Monica. Three really isn't so bad when you think about it...

"OK honey I can forgive you. But, where did the cash come from?"

"Well, whenever the box got full I took the cans to the recycler...."

Two guys are walking down the road when they come across a dog licking its scrotum.

First guy: Man, I'd love to be able to do that.

Second guy: Not me, no sir.

First guy: Why not?

Second guy: He might bite me.

A bear walks into a pub.
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Barman sats "why the big pause"

A man abducts a 7-year old boy and takes him at gunpoint into the woods. As they got deeper into the woods, the sun started to go down behind the trees. It got darker and darker until the boy turned to the kidnapper and says, "mister, I'm scared." To which he replies:

"YOU'RE scared...I'm the one who has to walk out of here ALONE."

A guy dies and finds that he has gone to hell. He is wailing and crying when the devil comes up to him and says "Hey buddy, relax. It's not so bad. Do you like to drink?".

Guy: Well, Yeah.
Devil: Well, every Monday we get [censored]-faced. We have open bar and you can have any drink you like.
Guy: well that sounds pretty good.
Devil: I told you. Do you like to gamble?
Guy (more excited now): Yeah.
Devil: Well every Tuesday is casino day. We have craps, blackjack, poker, sportsbetting. You name it, we got it
Guy: Excellent. That sounds great.
Devil: Are you gay?
Guy: No.
Devil: Well, you aren't gonna like Wednesdays very much then.