View Full Version : Inner Monologues

05-07-2002, 09:13 PM
For one day I was given the power to read minds, and here's what I got:

David Sklansky: "Hmmm... I'll let others elaborate."

GCA: "I'll let others collaborate."

Loose aggressive Bay 101 player: "Suited cards! Raise! Wait, I'm first to act. Limp first, see what happens. Prudence and patience. Oh man, somebody raised. I'll reraise. If miss the flop, I'll bet it and fold to any raises, but if I flop a draw or a pair, I'll cap it. Look at that schmuck in the big blind. He folded for one bet. There's 8 people in the pot! I'll re-raise just to make him feel stupid for missing out on a huge pot. Whoa, here comes the floorman, did I do something? I'll order a beer. AA baby! Raise raise raise. I'll check-raise the river. Man another two suited cards, and I'm in the big blind even. I am rolling."

Tight old man at the no limit tables: "He must have AA to raise like that. I fold. Look at that young punk pushing his chips around. He's going to go broke within an hour. Hmmm, I've got KK now, I better raise a little bit and see if AA is out there. Damn, that kid raised me back, he might have AA, I'll just check-call all the way to the river unless an ace comes. Oh man, I guess I should play this hand since I'm on the button, but I hate playing small pairs. Son of a bitch! They always get everything they need. Damn kid rivered a flush to beat my set. Maybe I should have bet the flop or the turn when he was checked to me both times."

Live one at the no limit tables: "There's always runner runner. Hell, I got a pair, let's see what he's got. Damn, I keep getting raised by that friendly smiling guy on my left that all the dealers and staff know by first name. I wonder if he plays this game a lot? Flush draw baby, I'll check and call up to ..... any amount. Hell, I got a pair, let's see what he's got. Woohoo! Love this game. These guys think they are all so smart, this game isn't so different from 6-12. That guy keeps raising my blind, I better start defending it or I'll get run over. It pisses me off when they raise my blind. SON OF A BITCH! He had AA! My JJ just went down in flames for $1000. Who could believe the bad luck of running into AA with another giant pair like JJ? Hold on, what's this, a flush draw? I'll check and call up to .... any amount. Hell, I got a pair, let's see what he's got."

Paradise Poker player: "Raise. Limp reraise. Raise. Check-raise. Bet. Raise. Re-raise. Cap it! Limp re-raise. Cap it! Look, I'm up $6000 today. Maybe I should move up to 2-4. What are all these idiots complaining about the bad rivers for? What a joke. This site is totally sweet."

Reno regular: "Damn, how come they only have the big game going tonight? The 4-8 game can really get big compared to the 3-6. Oh well I guess I'll take a seat, but I'm not going to see a flop without at least AK. Of course I get a cold streak right off, that's what I get for playing too high. Gotta wax the car tomorrow before I drive Ethel to the bingo parlor. She loves that bingo game. Oh it's on me. I fold. Getting close to dinner. That 2.99 buffet across the street is just as good as the 4.99 buffet here. I'll walk it. It's totally worth it. Oh it's on me. I fold. I'm not here to just gamble my money away you know."

WSOP Champion: "Good thing I caught that 9 on the river. I love this game. I'm the greatest."



05-07-2002, 09:32 PM

05-07-2002, 09:59 PM
I disagree with that last part.

05-07-2002, 11:43 PM
Natedogg- Great post- thanks for the big smile. The only one you left out was :Babe at the table vs. middle aged male tourist - "Hmmmm, I can beat a girl (especially a good looking girl). I'm gonna call her UTG raise with my K,6 offsuit".

05-08-2002, 03:43 AM
but I hate being called a tight old man. Just keep playing KK buddy, you'll learn...

05-08-2002, 11:48 AM
"Gee, look at that Babe across the table raising me. I bet she has pocket aces, I'll donate to her on this hand so she will think I am a middle aged tourist who has no clue then trap her for a monster pot when I flop the nuts later. I just love these Vegas women players!!!"

05-09-2002, 04:51 PM
L.A. low limit player:I still have two cards? I raise!! (that'll show em!!)

05-13-2002, 01:25 PM
It's not fair! I wanna be a beautiful babe too! Then I could sit and play with my big boobs all day... Oh, yeah, and play some poker a couple of hours with guys who stop thinking logically when they see me. I'll be rich! Then I can go back to my big fancy house and play with my boobs again!

Life is not fair!