View Full Version : Today's Blondie Comic

05-05-2004, 04:24 PM

I thought it might be mildly interesting/amusing.

05-05-2004, 04:56 PM
When you come home late from playing poker and your spouse asks how you did, the only right answer is "I won a couple of bucks".

Why? If you admit that you won a bunch of money, your spouse will spend it, and if you admit you lost a bunch of money, your spouse will be angry - and then go spend it.

Actual conversation from my happy home:

Me "How the hell can you spend $150 on a haircut???"
Her "If we can afford to waste all that money on poker, I figure we can afford for me to get my hair done someplace nice."

How to get your spouse to stop getting $150 haircuts.

(after the second $150 haircut)
Me: "Oh jeez, what happened? I thought you were getting your hair done at the good place now?"

Her: "I did. Why, what's the matter? Don't you like it?"

Me: "Um, er, no that's not it. It's actually pretty nice if you look at it from this angle. And besides, I'm sure it will look great once it grows in a little...."

05-05-2004, 05:24 PM
lol, good post. Haircuts was a unexpected expense that caught me by surprise after I got married.

05-05-2004, 05:26 PM
wow, you like sleeping alone, don't you?(lol)

05-05-2004, 07:18 PM
I thought it might be mildly interesting/amusing.

[/ QUOTE ]

a) I always thought Dagwood was more or less a retard.
b) Those pajamas are pretty gay.

05-05-2004, 08:04 PM
I think the last six times I have played poker with the boys I have come home a net winner. This timespan covers at least the past ten months.

Yet each time we have an outing/event, she can't get over the fact that I need to take out $200 from the bank account to fund the game. Even reminding her that I usually come home with more than $200, she can't get past the fact that I have to withdraw the money first.

I mean, I don't get it. When she takes out money for the haircut, she can't redeposit her locks back in right?

There is no arguing, even if you win 60% of the time, you are a loser in her eyes. I suppose because of the "chances" you are taking with the bread money....

05-05-2004, 08:38 PM
A variation of the old joke that Buddy Hackett (and probably others) used to tell:

"How'd you do at the slots, honey?"

"I lost $100."

"$100! On slots?!"

"So? You lost $1500 on craps..."

"Yeah, but I know how to gamble!"

05-06-2004, 01:35 AM
First night I ever played B&M NLHE: $500 win.

Second night: $200 loss.

Net for the weekend: $300 ahead.

Do you think she was happy, or upset?

05-06-2004, 01:40 AM
Let me guess:

"you should've quit while you're ahead!"

05-06-2004, 08:05 AM
HER: How did you do?

ME: (stupidly honest) I gave back $200 of it.

HER: (stews silently, except for many loud, hissing sighs)

ME: You're mad?? I made $300 this weekend (a huge score for a low-limit player like me).

HER: But you HAD $500!!!

ME: If I lost $200 the first night, and won $500 the second, that would be OK, right?

HER: (nods)


HER: (bursts into tears)

nicky g
05-06-2004, 08:14 AM
Classic. My mrs is actually pretty ok about the money side of it (she's actually lent/gifted me poker money a few times) and doesn't mind when I lose; she just hates me spending a lot of time on it. I guess you can't really win that back, although one day when I ma ke a score big enough for us to give up work and move to the beach she'll see it differently /images/graemlins/tongue.gif.

05-06-2004, 03:37 PM
HER: (bursts into tears)

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh man, that's classic.

See, I kind of lucked into telling my wife that I was playing online with real money in an acceptable way.

She thought I was playing with play money still after I put $50 into Stars for the first time. Well, first ever MTT I played was a $30+3 WSOP sat that I finished 3rd in, winning $650. THEN I told her that I had put in $50 of my own money.

All of the sudden HPFAP, Super/System, and TPAF weren't such a "waste of time" anymore.

And now that she's seen how the $20-$30 entry NL tournaments on Party can play out $3000+, she's all for me playing tournaments. The only "problem" is that she doesn't understand why I want to play limit to build up the bankroll "since the money is so low".

Hey, I ain't complaining, I haven't made her cry over this, at least yet. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

05-07-2004, 08:00 AM
Here's the key:
You probably won't convince her that poker is profitable. So, eEstablish a pattern of regularly losing $500 playing craps. Then, a $100 poker loss one night seems like a relief.

05-07-2004, 08:22 AM
Mine feels pretty comfortable with the financial side. This could be because I play online and so she doesn't see me taking money out to play any games.

What she does worry about though is strange. She is worried that people I beat online will somehow track me down because I have taken their money and beat me down. Perhaps it was a mistake watching Rounders with her.

05-07-2004, 10:49 AM
you're in trouble if you move up. Its better to be vague then. "I got killed" is a good non-descript answer. She used to not ask, now she just doesn't care and figures if I go broke, I'll stop playing.