View Full Version : Top ten signs you are a bad pokerplayer

02-16-2002, 04:19 PM
If Letterman did a "Top ten signs you are a bad pokerplayer"; what would the entries be?

I start:

When you bust out, the game breaks.

02-16-2002, 04:26 PM
When your in the game - The floor people have to get more sign up lists from the backroom.

02-16-2002, 05:30 PM
When you walk in, the players draw straws to determine the rotation of calling everyone they know to tell them you're in the room..and have money.

02-16-2002, 09:12 PM
Your Name is JOEYBITCH.

02-16-2002, 09:27 PM
When a seat opens, the player on your right always moves.

02-16-2002, 09:34 PM
10. You think AA is a through ticket.

9. When flop is A67, you always bet out with a T9.

8. Your online handle is topgun

7. You win consistently playing headsup on Paradise Poker

6. You're always worried everyone is bluffing you.

5. You have capped it blind before the flop.

4. It was omaha HIGH ONLY you fat hump! A234 was no good until you spiked a wheel against top set. Nice.

3. Your night job is poker dealer

2. You're up over 5 big bets per hour at the local 3-6 game.

and the number one sign.......

1. You keep losing to JOEYBITCH


02-16-2002, 10:23 PM
People say "You raised? I reraise" or "He's in, I'm in" a lot when you're in the game.


02-17-2002, 12:20 AM
when the second worst player joins you table when you sit down. Or if you write a book under the name "Mr. X."


02-17-2002, 01:51 AM
A new player asks you, "Sir, where do I take these chips to cash them in?"...

...and you honestly have no idea.

02-17-2002, 03:15 AM
How about when you ask someone if you can buy some of his lucky chips they tell you that they use to be yours.

02-17-2002, 08:17 AM
People go out of their way to invite you to their home games.

When your car is in the shop the cardroom manager sends you a complimentary limo.

02-18-2002, 07:55 PM
you don't even know how much you are stuck.

you see somebody show a tough fold against another player, but they call you down with Qhigh just because its you...

3-6 players move to your 20-40 table...

railbirds ask for loans so they can get in your game.

the dealer gives you 3 cards accidentally and everybody says its ok.

02-19-2002, 04:03 AM

02-19-2002, 05:06 AM
How much do you have to win to get even for the year?

02-20-2002, 01:57 AM
How about you play 22 stronger B4 the flop than AK since 22 is a 'better' hand.

02-21-2002, 10:08 PM
You complain to a friend that you're stuck 5000 and he replies "Wow, you musta caught a heater!"

02-22-2002, 06:28 PM
Full table draws straws to see who gives up their seat to you!