View Full Version : A.S. Strikes Again

01-31-2002, 04:07 AM
For my buddies Rick Nebiolo and 3-bet Brett and anyone else who knows Archie:

They start a new 40-80 game. I move over from the 30-60 and Archie comes over from the 30-60 stud game. He has about 3 $10 chips and a $1,000 chip. He refuses to change the $1,000 chip. I had done well in the 30-60 and had 3 racks worth of $10 chips.

First hand I raise and Archie cold-calls with his $1,000 chip. I bet the flop and Archie and everyone else folds, so I win the pot. Archie says he'll get change. I tell him I'll change the big chip. He says, no, he'll change it. Before they can deal the next hand, I'm called for the must-move. I tell the dealer, remember, Archie owe me 8 chips; I also tell Kevin, Archie owes me 8 chips.

About 10 minutes goes by and I stand up to look over at my ex-table to see if Archie has his change yet, He does. I tell Kevin again, Archie owes me 8 chips. Kevin goes over to Archie, gets chips from him, and brings me over. . . 16 yellow chips! I ask Kevin where did he get yellow chips? Kevin says he's sorry, this is what Archie gave him, he took them out of his pocket.

I use the yellow chips for collections and start to accumulate blue $1 chips as well. By and by, Archie is called for the must move. By and by, we get involved in a hand where I'm in the big blind and Archie raises. I get perhaps the biggest laugh ever at the table when I call the raise with. . .twenty blue chips and 4 yellow chips. At this point I have 4 racks worth of the correct chips. Archie starts with his "what you doing?" as I'm counting out the blue chips. I honestly had crap, I shouldn't have called his raise, but I couldn't resist.

As his final act of discourtesy (after his numerous "new set-up"s, "extra shuffle"s, "change the deck"s, and "sc-ramble, big sc-ramble"s) he asks for a brand new set-up just the hand before he is to have the blind, and then leaves the game to go home on his blind.

I'm really a very nice guy, a please-and-thank you man, easy-going and affable. But this guy is the stupidest, most selfish, orneriest, loud-mouthed, impolite chancre sore of an excuse for a human being I've ever had the misfortune to meet in my entire life.

It's after midnight now, I had a big, big, big night and what am I thinking about? Archie!

01-31-2002, 05:14 AM
Andy -

I gotta get myself back up to the big games!! (all in due time, my boy, all in due time). But man, you musta had a heckuva night (mentioned in seperate posts) - well deserved, I'm sure. Congrats, and nice move with the small chips (sincerely!! I hope I would have had the presence of mind to do the same thing!!)


01-31-2002, 06:05 AM
Tell us how big the win was. I'm sure it was > 5 figures.

01-31-2002, 10:17 AM
The only consolation in dealing with this idiot is that Archie spends his whole life thinking of what other people have done to him, and you only have to when dealing with Archie.

Nice win.

01-31-2002, 10:20 AM
shoulda bet into him with those chips at some other points

01-31-2002, 11:58 AM
thats what makes poker fun, all the different characters you have to deal with. you had an event you will remember always but certainly will not remember the money. besides i wonder what he is saying about you right now.

01-31-2002, 01:12 PM
Yeah, I think you're right, it's certainly part of the fun in dealing with the unusual characters.

Since everyone seems to want to know, I won $7800 yesterday, breaking a 4 session losing streak.

01-31-2002, 02:47 PM
id like to know what a really big night $ound$ like for a good 30 and 40 player like you. want to know what i have to look forward to.

please confide.

01-31-2002, 03:17 PM

01-31-2002, 03:37 PM
Ray's point of goofy characters making things more interesting is definately well founded. This story might be funny to anyone who has ever taken crap from some idiot in a card room.

Playing 4-8 stud about 2 yrs ago at Bellagio. Some annoying guy (probably mid 30's) is losing bad and bitching up a storm, telling everyone how dumb they are for calling his bets, betting, etc. Standard loudmouth moron. Then he even starts to get personal with some people. Asks one young guy after he caught a flush on him "what do you go to UNLV?", "worst football team ever." The young guy replies that he does not go to UNLV. So then annoying guy says (with sarcastic venom) "What are you then, a waiter?", "Boy, I wish I was a waiter" The younger guy (who is a waiter) ignores him. Annoying guy continues to bitch, taking verbal shots at everyone who beats him, catches cards in front of him, etc. This guy is one of the more annoying people I've ever played cards with. I play about a 1/2 hour longer and my Hold'em seat is called.

2 weeks later I'm at the Wendy's on Tropicana near Industrial, order the spicy chicken combo, look up from counting my money, and the cashier is annoying guy. Here's this guy, berating people in card room for their profession, and he pours Frostys for Dave Thomas! I couldn't help but start cracking up at irony right in front of annoying guy.

Characters in the card room, ya gotta love'em.


01-31-2002, 03:55 PM

01-31-2002, 05:12 PM
There's a big tournament where I play this weekend. Can you put me in it with some of that win? /images/smile.gif

01-31-2002, 06:31 PM
One of my favorite words....

If you can describe what this particular chancre looks like, I'll tell you what disease he is. Choose 2-4 from:

Painful, shallow, thick, firm, red, beefy, purulent, draining, swollen, tender, groin vs. scrotum vs. penis (or "dick" if more accurate) and specify whether the infection is animal or human in origin.


01-31-2002, 06:47 PM
I'm doing some estate planning now (there'll be no guns in my estate, I think I'll register with Mr. Bellesiles), and I'm paying one of your compatriots $350 an hour for his services. Will probably cost me about $4,000 in toto. (I sense that you guys charge more for the use of Latin phrases.) So the money's more than half accounted for. Then, of course, I have a wife with expensive tastes, an ex-wife with a good deal (also negotiated by two of your finest brethren), a son who works for me, a daughter in college, an 11 year old, a mortgage, and miscellaneous other expenses (drug and alcohol and kinky sex habits and the like).

But, if there's anything left over, you'll be the first one I'll call. Unless Vince hits me up first.


01-31-2002, 07:11 PM
If you didn't have to pay so many taxes you could put me in.

01-31-2002, 07:15 PM

01-31-2002, 08:02 PM

01-31-2002, 08:09 PM

01-31-2002, 09:14 PM
You know where the taxes are really low? Afghanistan. China. Cuba. I'll take the U.S.A. any old time, and if forced to make a second choice, I'd take England or Sweden or Germany or any of those western European countries with really high taxes.

The best places to live have high taxes (like California). Maybe there's a correlation? /images/smile.gif

Anyway, you and I both believe in self-reliance. Buy into that tournament yourself and beat the pants off of them. I expect to read your post about how you won.

Good luck.

01-31-2002, 10:38 PM
I probably won't play the tournament. I am hoping for the deck to run over me in a sweet 10-20. And who says I believe in self-reliance? That's just political blather. I want to retire as a trust fund pro while my wife works. Taxes cut into my potential future leisure.

And besides, I wanted to make you feel at home by asking to be staked right after your big win.

02-01-2002, 12:32 AM
i'll stake your wife in the tourney, you just sit behind her!...:o)

02-01-2002, 12:56 AM
At least he didn't call you an animal.

02-01-2002, 01:20 AM

02-01-2002, 04:13 AM

02-01-2002, 09:30 AM
good luck!

02-01-2002, 01:09 PM
Never really thought about it, but when I was a regular player between marriages, that is, playing every day and hanging out at the club when I wasn't playing, I got hit up for loans all the time. One of the nice things about being an occasional player is no one hits you up for loans. Also, on those rare occasions when I do get up to 4 racks or so, I color up so that all the chips aren't conspicuous.

Isn't it funny how everyone has a thousand things to say to you on those days you're running great, and nothing when you can't buy a pot? My last session before the big win, I lost a rack and a half, winning exactly 3 pots in 5 hours: one from the small blind with pocket 8s; one from the big blind when I got a free play with 8-4; and once with A-K from the button.

02-01-2002, 01:14 PM
Not knowing how to spell canker, I looked it up and found chancre in the dictionary and assumed it was what I wanted. Now that I look again, I see chancre is "the initial lesion of syphilis, commonly a more or less distinct ulcer or sore with a hard base." Not the word I meant, but it will do too.

02-01-2002, 03:04 PM

I just found and bookmarked this forum yesterday. Great story. I also enjoyed the one about lady "I" on this forum (I think it was here). I've never gotten to play with both at once but wonder what it would be like.

They can help your sex life. To control the urge to "finish" too fast during intercourse, momentarily think about "A" and "I" in bed together as your excitment builds. Don't overdue it or you face "deflation" without completion.



02-01-2002, 05:29 PM

02-02-2002, 01:16 PM
I went to college with a guy who LOVED that word; he would always describe people he didnt like as chancres. Is matt flynn your real name?


02-12-2002, 05:49 PM
Nope wasn't me. Matt's my real name.