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View Full Version : Post Request -- El Diablo : The Biography


TomCollins
11-23-2005, 03:10 PM
There are pieces of the legend scattered around regarding the origin of El Diablo. However, sorting through 14,000 posts to piece it together seems like a task no man can overcome.

Anyone want to volunteer for the post? Maybe the masked man himself can give a bit of a background.

11-23-2005, 03:14 PM
I hear he's hung like a horse, but that's to be expected. They grow everything bigger in Texas. /images/graemlins/heart.gif

Colonel Kataffy
11-23-2005, 03:48 PM
El Diablo is seven feet tall. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse.

Vincent Lepore
11-23-2005, 04:37 PM
quote from El Diablo to Vince Lepore:

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not surprised you don't like me, as you seem to not like anyone who is smarter and more successful than you.


[/ QUOTE ]

I think that says it all about El Diablo. Huurah!

Vince

TomCollins
11-23-2005, 04:40 PM
Vince,

I don't think that really says anything everyone didn't already know. Although 90% of the forum probably fits this description as well.

citanul
11-23-2005, 05:01 PM
[ QUOTE ]
El Diablo is seven feet tall. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse.

[/ QUOTE ]

so . . . he's peter the great?

mlagoo
11-23-2005, 05:06 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
El Diablo is seven feet tall. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse.

[/ QUOTE ]

so . . . he's peter the great?

[/ QUOTE ]

braveheart /images/graemlins/frown.gif unless this was some injoke that i didnt get.

11-23-2005, 05:24 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I hear he's hung like a horse, but that's to be expected. They grow everything bigger in Texas. /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Take my word for it. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

Ulysses
11-23-2005, 05:26 PM
He's supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody ever believed he was real. Nobody ever knew him or saw anybody that ever worked directly for him. But to hear them tell it, anybody could have worked for El Diablo. You never knew; that was his power. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
One story the guys told me, the story I believe, was from his days in Turkey. There was a gang of Hungarians that wanted their own mob. They realized that to be in power, you didn't need guns or money or even numbers. You just needed the will to do what the other guy wouldn't. After a while, they come into power and then they come after Diablo. He was small-time then, just running dope, they say. They come to his home in the afternoon, looking for his business. They find his wife and kids in the house and decide to wait for Diablo. He comes home to find his wife raped and children screaming. The Hungarians knew Diablo was tough, not to be trifled with, so they let him know they meant business and cut one of the children's throats.
They tell him they want his territory, all his business. Diablo looks over the faces of his family. Then he showed these men of will what will really was. El Diablo shot two Hungarians, then shot his children and his wife as the last Hungarian watched in surprised horror.
He tells him he would rather see his family dead than live another day after this. He lets the last Hungarian go, waits until his wife and kids are in the ground, and then he goes after the rest of the mob. He kills their kids. He kills their wives. He kills their parents and their parents' friends. He burns down the houses they live in, the stores they work in. He kills people that owe them money. And like that, he's gone. Underground. Nobody's ever seen him since. He becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night. "Rat on your pop and El Diablo will get you." But no one ever really believes.

kenberman
11-23-2005, 05:41 PM
and like that {poof}

he's gone

gergery
11-23-2005, 06:12 PM
[ QUOTE ]
He's supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody ever believed he was real. Nobody ever knew him or saw anybody that ever worked directly for him. But to hear them tell it, anybody could have worked for El Diablo. You never knew; that was his power. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
One story the guys told me, the story I believe, was from his days in Turkey. There was a gang of Hungarians that wanted their own mob. They realized that to be in power, you didn't need guns or money or even numbers. You just needed the will to do what the other guy wouldn't. After a while, they come into power and then they come after Diablo. He was small-time then, just running dope, they say. They come to his home in the afternoon, looking for his business. They find his wife and kids in the house and decide to wait for Diablo. He comes home to find his wife raped and children screaming. The Hungarians knew Diablo was tough, not to be trifled with, so they let him know they meant business and cut one of the children's throats.
They tell him they want his territory, all his business. Diablo looks over the faces of his family. Then he showed these men of will what will really was. El Diablo shot two Hungarians, then shot his children and his wife as the last Hungarian watched in surprised horror.
He tells him he would rather see his family dead than live another day after this. He lets the last Hungarian go, waits until his wife and kids are in the ground, and then he goes after the rest of the mob. He kills their kids. He kills their wives. He kills their parents and their parents' friends. He burns down the houses they live in, the stores they work in. He kills people that owe them money. And like that, he's gone. Underground. Nobody's ever seen him since. He becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night. "Rat on your pop and El Diablo will get you." But no one ever really believes.

[/ QUOTE ]

You beat me to it...

-g

andyfox
11-23-2005, 07:01 PM
A rumor's not a rumor that doesn't die.

slavic
11-23-2005, 07:11 PM
So when does Kaiser Diablo start giving lessons?

BarronVangorToth
11-23-2005, 08:43 PM
I'm not happy that he killed so many of my people.

However, he did quote Usual Suspects, so he gets an allowance.

Barron Vangor Toth
BarronVangorToth.com

loudog
11-23-2005, 08:51 PM
I'm not happy that he killed so many of my people.

he killed a lot of morons?

Vincent Lepore
11-23-2005, 10:52 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Although 90% of the forum probably fits this description as well.


[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm...interesting. You believe that 90% of the forum are whiney little cwy babies. Wow~

Vince

fnord_too
11-23-2005, 11:15 PM
I hear he only wears his shiny blue shirts once, but has them dry cleaned first. Truly, not a man to be trifled with.

Ray Zee
11-23-2005, 11:22 PM
i only know one el diablo. the one that lives in san francisco. last year i went to dinner with him as we missed it the year before as he was too busy to go with me then. but luckily for me he had some time. so gift of gab and the sucker and me were invited. wow was i impressed with his knowledged of everything. also he is very handsome and like a greek god. all the women at the restaraunt kept looking at him all through dinner. i cant wait till janurary for the next experience.

BadBoyBenny
11-23-2005, 11:38 PM
El Diablo is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like El Diablo.

TStoneMBD
11-24-2005, 12:25 AM
wow what an excellent story

Ulysses
11-24-2005, 12:32 AM
[ QUOTE ]
all the women at the restaraunt kept looking at him all through dinner.

[/ QUOTE ]

One of them was whispering to her friend as she stared at me. I could just barely make out her words: "How do you think that guy knows Ray Zee?"

whiskeytown
11-24-2005, 12:59 AM
by 90% - you mean we dislike Vince? or people smarter then us.

RB

Vincent Lepore
11-24-2005, 01:27 AM
[ QUOTE ]
wow was i impressed with his knowledged of everything. also he is very handsome and like a greek god.

[/ QUOTE ]

Gee, if Ray Zee likes him maybe I better too. Hmmm....now Ray you aren't trying to tell us something by using the like a greek god as a code thing, are you? I mean I know that for most of the year you are isolated in some snow bound shack in the North Country. During long periods of isolation some peoples minds might tend to "play tricks" (no pun intended) on them. You know I remeber a time when you liked ugly guys. Oh well times change.

Vince

Joe Tall
11-25-2005, 06:34 AM
I've seen him once; he's a mountain of a man. Hands that could make diamonds from coal, yet groomed as he'd never worked a day. The children flock to him, women swoon, he gracious with the people and they adore him.

You will know he is in the same room, even if you never meet him. I promise you this, you will know.

DcifrThs
11-25-2005, 03:08 PM
[ QUOTE ]
wow was i impressed with his knowledged of everything.

[/ QUOTE ]

just from the limited conversations ive had with him re: job/life, restaurants, women, business i back the above statement.

beyond that i cannot comment.

Barron

J.A.Sucker
11-25-2005, 03:48 PM
Well, he is a legend in his own mind. That much I can tell you.

Shilly
11-25-2005, 04:13 PM
Sklansky always used to say, "I don't believe in God...but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God, and the only thing I fear is El Diablo.

Ulysses
11-25-2005, 04:53 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Well, he is a legend in his own mind. That much I can tell you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would respond to this, but the one thing I fear in life is being challenged to a Chinese-drinking contest by JA Sucker.

sfer
11-25-2005, 05:20 PM
I met a guy who claimed he was Diablo. Underwhelmed.

Justin A
11-27-2005, 05:45 PM
I heard from a good source that he's very good at getting everyone else to pay for his drinks.

Josh W
11-27-2005, 06:20 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I heard from a good source that he's very good at getting everyone else to pay for his drinks.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've heard that as well.

The best was two years ago when he was down in LA w/ Sucker, Clark, NPA, and others. We got our own table at commerce (W/ Gabe, Sooga, glen, mike l., etc...). I end up buying a few rounds, and el D doesn't.

he PMs me and says "next time, whereever we meet up, it's on me".

That was 2 years ago. I think he'll keep his word. I just don't know when the "next time" will be......
...
...
...
..
..
.


Josh

Ulysses
11-27-2005, 06:26 PM
Look, I gotta do something to make up for all the times Sucker sticks me w/ the tab.

Josh W
11-27-2005, 06:38 PM
/images/graemlins/smile.gif:)

Don't mind me. I'm just over here ball bustin.

J.A.Sucker
11-27-2005, 08:21 PM
I must keep getting really drunk whenever we go out, becasue I seem to recall exactly the opposite... /images/graemlins/tongue.gif Next one is on you.

Ulysses
11-27-2005, 08:31 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I must keep getting really drunk whenever we go out, becasue I seem to recall exactly the opposite... /images/graemlins/tongue.gif Next one is on you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, you get wasted so quick you don't even remember the last five or so rounds. Who do you think is paying for those? It sure as hell ain't haakee or beetz. Gab, though, we can stick that kid w/ anything.

Justin A
11-28-2005, 12:19 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Look, I gotta do something to make up for all the times Sucker sticks me w/ the tab.

[/ QUOTE ]

I find this interesting considering Sucker was my source.

chesspain
11-28-2005, 02:02 AM
All I've been able to tell is that he seems way too enamoured with food and food preparation.

NLSoldier
11-28-2005, 04:09 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Look, I gotta do something to make up for all the times Sucker sticks me w/ the tab.

[/ QUOTE ]

I find this interesting considering Sucker was my source.

[/ QUOTE ]

haha owned!

Zeno
11-28-2005, 09:18 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, he is a legend in his own mind. That much I can tell you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would respond to this, but the one thing I fear in life is being challenged to a Chinese-drinking contest by JA Sucker.

[/ QUOTE ]

I won a Chinese-drinking contest with a member of the Hong Kong Bamboo Gang. This was in a bar-dance club in Taipei, which they own, called the Opium Den. I flirted with his women, played the Chinese 'five figure game', and drank shots of some green colored drink out of test tubes placed in racks the loser having to take a full shot.

El Diablo may be a legend but Zeno is the real thing.

-Zeno

P.S. 'The rest of the story', I'll save for January - I hope to make it up then.

Ulysses
11-28-2005, 10:54 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Look, I gotta do something to make up for all the times Sucker sticks me w/ the tab.

[/ QUOTE ]

I find this interesting considering Sucker was my source.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lemme explain how it goes down. Sucker is very generous, so he buys a round or two early. He is also a lightweight, so he gets blitzed out of his skull. Thus, he has no recollection of the next dozen rounds and believes they somehow just magically appear.

J.A.Sucker
11-28-2005, 01:04 PM
Nobody likes a rat. Since you're like 23 feet tall, the next time I see you, I'm going to get out my stepladder and kick your ass.

jcmack13
11-28-2005, 04:26 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Sklansky always used to say, "I don't believe in God...but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God, and the only thing I fear is El Diablo.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol

samjjones
11-28-2005, 05:27 PM
The details of El Diablo's life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? His father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. His mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. His father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. El Diablo's childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring he'd make meat helmets. When he was insolent he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve he received his first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved his testicles. El Diablo says there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- he highly suggests you try it.

Justin A
11-28-2005, 07:02 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Nobody likes a rat. Since you're like 23 feet tall, the next time I see you, I'm going to get out my stepladder and kick your ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

Rat? Please. I much prefer tattle-tale.

The Truth
11-28-2005, 08:17 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I'm not happy that he killed so many of my people.

he killed a lot of morons?

[/ QUOTE ]

very very good.
I like it.

You should have type MORANS though.

blake