View Full Version : Mason, David, Ray, why do you persecute the SPM?

09-18-2001, 12:49 AM
The SPM looked in the mirror and said to himself, "Why me?" He thought to himself isn't the SPM a loyal member of the 2+2 family of poster children. When he wakes up in the morning, does he not run to the computer? Turn it on, double click AOL, and punch in the appropriate codes. Then in a masculine voice AOL says WELCOME! You got mail! "Forget the mail," says the SPM, "it's time for 2+2." His crippled arthritic fingers type in the www dot 2+2 spelled out of course dot com slash enter, and his commands race threw syber space to the land of poker wisdom.

The ride is bumpy with the screen jidering back and forth rushing to the familiar yellow pages of 2+2. Finally the SPM reaches the door way to poker wisdom. He clicks on his favorite forum OTHER TOPICS. The command is accepted by 2+2 and the endless computer commands search for the site. 50% 65% 95% breathless with anticipation the SPM watches and waits 98% 100% DONE. There it is OTHER TOPICS, he reaches for the mouse and clicks on the scroll arrow. But wait, nothing happens, the page is frozen! Panic grabs the SPM! What's going on he screams in his head? But no one answers. Then the little hour glass appears from out of no where. The WWW web page pops up and the computer is on a collision course to the evil SPRINKS. It takes another thirty seconds for the Sprinks page to open. Finally the SPM is able to X out the Sprinks and Other Topics is finally available.

THIRTY SECONDS! Yes that's right! 30 seconds of wasted electricity, 30 seconds of lost reading time, 30 seconds of posting time gone forever, 30 seconds of computer life lost...WHY ME? Cries the SPM. What evil did the SPM ever do to Mason, David, & Ray?

Thirty seconds three times a day three hundred sixty five days each and every year. 32,850 seconds of wasted time. 547.5 minutes per year gone! Over nine hours per year with no compensation. Sprinks rapes time from the SPM and for what? Will the SPM ever invest even one penny to SPRINKS? No he will not!

Please Mason, David, Ray why do you persecute the SPM? Are his stories that bad? Is it because the SPM hasn't got a clue where a coma should go? Why?

SPM,...losing time every single day to Sprinks...

09-18-2001, 01:08 AM
Hey SPM, I want you to know that David, Ray, and I are big fans of yours. Chuck is as well. We are currently in a battle with the evil SPRINKS and hope to vanish it completely in the not to distant future to that same place that all luck oriented poker players go. But give us some time, these things do not happen over night.

09-18-2001, 01:31 AM
shhhh...don't tell anyone, but the secret is to turn off java scipt. you'll still get ads, but not some of the more active ones or active aspects of some... something like that... anyway, it should help what's slowing you down. in netscape go to edit-->preferences-->advanced-->and simply uncheck "enable java script". in IE go to tools-->internet options-->security-->custom level-->and go down and disable "active scripting". hope that helps.

09-18-2001, 08:04 AM
how could you doubt your importance...think how many times your multitude of fans and devoted aspirants hunger for your esteemed wisdom...only to find...no recent revelations from mediocre spm...oh well another day of suffering without this brief respite here in this vail of tears...write long...and avoid carpal tunnell...gl..

09-18-2001, 09:04 AM
and support your local economy with a neighborhood internet provider. I promise you will get better, faster, service than AOL.

09-18-2001, 11:58 AM
its all my fault Mr. SPM. for too long i have had to endure reading your tremendously long posts. not because they are good(which they are) but because i am such a courteous person. i have warned you repeatedly that i was losing sleep and spending way too much time out of my precious life glued to your posts. why do you do that to me? what kind of evil mind you must have to do this to me. five minutes(im a fast reader) a day of reading time gone forever because of you.

to get even the best defense was sprinks. as i knew you would never be able to figure out how to disable the monster i sent back at you, i could have total satisfaction in your seeing what happens to some of the rest of us. i was going to hold off but my good friend vince said to go ahead as planned because he too has been broken into submission from reading your posts.

09-18-2001, 06:35 PM

Just some thoughts...

Michael D. (Soccer/Sucker Mike D.)

09-18-2001, 06:47 PM
Would you like to recommend a neighborhood provider in Conifer, CO? Even if you found one, I bet they wouldn't have those cool hearts you can click on.