View Full Version : A Hold'em scientific test...the results are in...

09-09-2001, 04:41 PM
Big cards beat little cards and most people aren't bluffing, an important axiom to remember when on the firing lines of Texas Hold'em. Another simple truth known to most average players seeking excellence in hold'em, the cards have no respect for talent. The frustration one can feel in a Hold'em game is best expressed by the poker junkie Heywood Jablowmi. He blames the Dealer for not providing stating hands that win at the river. Heywood is famous for letting the Dealer know what he should do with his card delivering abilities.

Counting the deck one finds twenty big cards and thirty-two little cards. There are about ten, two card combinations which an argument for raising can be given. Most players raise with theses hands from almost any position. Using Group 1 & 2 hands as our guide line. The other hands are subject to debate concerning the raise from any position because game texture is so important. None of this has much to do with what we will be reading today. But, it gives us a frame of reference for another truth about the inanimate things called cards. The concept of dogs, there are so many two card combinations, called dogs, to try and name them all would exceed the scope of this post.

The dog hands prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, inanimate cards do have abilities far beyond the understanding of mortal Hold'em players. The dog hands from this time forward will be referred to as Blood Hounds. Like their counter part in the hunting world these inanimate Blood Hounds are vicious hunters with a keen sense of smell. They are sent out into the field by their owner, Mr Dealer. The Dealer has trained these Blood Hounds to pick up any scent of frustration. Hold'em players seeking an opportunity to feed their starving ego's with a win, are the Blood Hounds favorite meal. Rocks have no scent or could it be they never give off the scent of frustration. But, most action starved player's often reek with the scent of frustration.

Now you may be having trouble accepting the concept of inanimate cards having abilities which have always been associated with living, breathing, thinking species. But you must trust the words of the SPM, for he has seen it with his own eyes. These Blood Hounds will track a frustrated player to the end of the table and corner the poor soul with their ugliness and persistent growl for attention. Some players have the ability to make friends with these Blood Hounds. They have a great time playing with them, to the utter amazement of the more cautious of players. A visitor to the Valley of Patience when faced with a winning Blood Hound two card combination from an opponent to many times. Will begin to gently reek of the scent of frustration.

Knowing there would be those who will not believe the truth, even if it was standing two feet in front of them. The SPM put the knowledge that Blood Hounds do exist, to a scientific test. Playing form the VoP the SPM began to reek of the scent FRUSTRATION. He decided to move to another location thinking the cards would become corn fussed and something good might appear from the mitts of the Blood Hound handler Mr Dealer.

Unfortunately these Blood Hounds were trained by an expert Dealer of terror. Moving to a second secret location the Blood Hounds were there before the SPM could re-stack his chips. A true scientific test required a third move but the Blood Hounds dogged the SPM with relentless accuracy, increasing his scent of frustration. Moving into a fourth seat and the SPM was attached by a pack of Blood Hounds proving once and for all. The cards have no respect for talent, and Blood Hounds do exist in the inanimate world of 52 cards.

SPM,...knowing the truth isn't a gift it's a curse...

09-10-2001, 06:32 PM