View Full Version : Labor Day Shoot Out...Bang Bang your dead...

09-03-2001, 11:09 PM
The SPM rode into town early in the morning on Labor Day. He was ready for action but the Town looked empty. A gal named Wendy The Floor ask, "Did you come for the shooting contest?" The SPM gave a nod and the friendly gal said, "what's your name pardner?" One of the Town folk said, "that's the SPM." "Welcome to Texas, we hold a shooting contest here in Hold'em every Labor Day. Each team of contestants get four rounds and the gamblers can bet on who they think is the fastest. We got 52 of the best gun fighters around the country. It's always two gun fighters to a team. All bets are final and we declare a winner over there at the river. Sometimes sooner if only one man is left standing at the end of a firing round. Would you like one of the ten gambling seats in the gamblers pit?" Asked Ms Floor. "Sounds like fun," said the SPM, "sign me up for that ten seat."

The shooting contest started about twenty minutes later. Only eight gamblers were in town but more showed up early that afternoon. They were a tight bunch and everyone seemed to know each other. The SPM decided to pass on making any bets during the first round of gun fire. He wanted to see who had the fastest gun. The sheriff hadn't arrived and every time one of the shootest fired his gun the two blind Deputies would drop their guns and run. Someone said the Deputies were kind of weak tight, and being blind didn't help.

After a time the SPM made a few bets on some fast looking gun fighters. They all were royally suited in their Sunday dudes but they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn from ten feet away. Finally he saw a couple of fancy looking ladies. They were dressed in red and if they weren't fast, they sure were fancy looking. The SPM raised his hand and made a bet. The other gun fighters all had masks on so you couldn't tell who they were. At the river the gals laid dead in a pool of red. A masked shootest had fired three rounds at the ladies and missed each time. However, he got lucky at the river and hit a pair tree, the round ricochet and the ladies were dead. The shootest took off his mask and sure enough it was a cowboy and a sailor named Hook. The cowboy said, "Suburban, gals make good dance partners but they can't out shoot a cowboy."

After five hours of betting on gun fighters who turned out to be tender foots. The SPM made his last bet and was ready to hit the road. By some miracle his team flushed out the opponents at the turn and they declared him the winner at the river. A couple more good bets on some fast guns and the SPM was even. He told the gamblers he was going to get something to eat. At the towns local diner they were serving a ladies steak and they called it Skirt Steak.

When the SMP returned to the game he bet on two cowboys. The Sheriff was in the shoot out now and all he needed was one bullet. The cowboys were dead at the river. The SPM bet on a couple of Black Feet Indians, they were fast and things started to look up for the SPM. Then he raised the betting on a gal who had a red bullet with her. She hit two pair with her first shot. Damn good shooting thought the SPM. But at the river a house fell on her and she was crushed. The SPM refused to put any more money on the gals and he bet on two cowboys four times and each time the Sheriff was there with a single bullet. The SPM stood up and said, "Sheriff, your one damn good shoot. I'm out of here."

SPM,...it's not smart to go against the law...

09-04-2001, 09:52 AM
Hang in there SPM, It aint no fun when the rabitt's got the gun...

Just some thoughts...

Michael D. (Soccer/Sucker Mike D.)

09-04-2001, 09:54 PM
as a moderate spm effort...write well and watch out for carpal tunnel...gl