Clever Poker Player Job Titles

[lowroller]

Saw a thread awhile back where someone didn't like telling friends/family he played full-time and wanted some advice on what to tell them he was "doing". I tried to do a search, but couldn't come up with anything....so I'll start one here.

What are some clever job titles that one could use with family or friends at a cocktail party, Thanksgiving dinner, etc. that gives a true/glossy description of what a poker player "does".

[Packerfan1]

I find "Statistical/Financial Risk Analyst" to be better received than "Moron Herder". /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Of course nowadays thanks to the WPT you're better off just telling everyone you're a poker player. Even Moms are ok with that one now... Its not like the disgust we used to get way back when, like before 2001.

Pack

[Blarg]

Slur it a little and speak real quickly, and tell 'em you work in Asset Banishment.

[Daliman]

I specialize in short-term investments.

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

I told my family I was a semi-professioal poker player. Their response was "cool"

[lowroller]

C'mon guys...I expected more creativity from this crowd!

*I claim to have no creativity, hence my post

[daryn]

i bet on the digital representations of playing cards on the internet

[beernutz]

I sit for long hours in front of a monitor watching my ass(et)s expand.

[coffeecrazy1]

How about "Economic Redistribution Negotiator?"

[eastbay]

Tax Collector. (Only mention it's a stupidity tax if pressed.)

eastbay

[NJchick]

If you play online.

Internet Gaming Consultant

[spamuell]

I sleep most of the day. Layabout? No, don't worry, I gamble on the internet at night.

You could say you're a "hospitality manager", basically in that it's your job to keep bad players at the table.

[mostsmooth]

how about "fisherman"

[Shilly]

Good one.

[eric5148]

Why can't you say poker player? If someone gives me a dirty look after I tell them I'm a poker player, I walk away, that's not someone I want to talk to.

[Philuva]

Game Theorist.

[onegymrat]

Ooh, so close to what I was using when I was laid off for six months last year.

Freelance Gaming Consultant

[Matt Flynn]

tell them you trade options. or are in risk arbitrage. or risk analyst. or a leverage investor. or, as my title once was, statistical process controller. that was at a tomato canning factory for Campbell's. $7/hr in 1987. the big bucks.

matt

[Boris]

We need him. badly.

[Talk2BigSteve]

Tell them you are a Computerized Rockets Statistical Multitasker for NASA and your job duties are Top Secret.

Living, Learning, and Laughing.
Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[NJchick]

That's good.

Or....

Independent Gaming Consultant

Personal Gaming Consultant

Table Games Administrator

the list goes on and on....

[Senor Choppy]

I prefer telling them I'm into murders and executions.

[Duke]

Some of my favorite lines to use:

4. I give poker lessons
3. I'm in the entertainment industry
2. I work with retards (a la Something About Mary)
1. I'm gainfully unemployed

~D

[Sundevils21]

[ QUOTE ]
Why can't you say poker player? If someone gives me a dirty look after I tell them I'm a poker player, I walk away, that's not someone I want to talk to.

[/ QUOTE ]

even if it's your grandma? that's cold

[Lafortezza]

"I am an Aquarium manager"

[2planka]

Professional Bluff Inducer.

[jakethebake]

I take advantage of gambling addicts.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
how about "fisherman"

[/ QUOTE ]Thats the best yet.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
"I am an Aquarium manager"

[/ QUOTE ]Very nice!

[Wheezl]

-Mason-

[phishfan]

Quality Control Field Inspector for the Random Number Generator division of ACME inc. Whenever your big pairs get cracked you know you've got a bad one.

[daryn]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
2. I work with retards


[/ QUOTE ]


very good duke. i got a nice laugh out of this.

[Lawrence Ng]

[ QUOTE ]
If you play online.

Internet Gaming Consultant

[/ QUOTE ]

I like this one.

[47outs]

I've mentioned online consultant to chicks.

For inquiring minds who want proof I sent them here,
www.tradal.net (http://www.tradal.net)


And for the chicks I really want to impress, I show them this, www.neteller.com/myfataccount (http://www.neteller.com/myfataccount) (they have to be in my room for this one.)



outs

[housenuts]

i'll stick to what i used to call myself when i was 18 running an adult website profiting off banners and referrals.

Internet Entrepreneur

[EliteNinja]

[ QUOTE ]
Internet Entrepreneur

[/ QUOTE ]

I like that one.

If only I could come up with something as witty as the titles I see here.