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View Full Version : I'm cracking up...I need to get laid


whiskeytown
11-05-2004, 05:02 AM
Doesn't have to be for life ever after - just a couple week fling is fine - no problem -

I just need to get back in the ball game for a time - a short time even - - see if I still remember how to hit the ball -

suggestions? - Ideas? - (and no, getting girls drunk will NOT work - I'm trying to avoid that crap myself) - Escorts, well, we all know that would be bad and wrong...after all, that would be illegal /images/graemlins/wink.gif - wonder how folks look for one...LOL

RB

Toro
11-05-2004, 08:06 AM
Step up to the plate and swing for the fences. One of the greatest homerun hitters of all time, Babe Ruth also has the strike out record.

Lawrence Ng
11-05-2004, 09:37 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Escorts, well, we all know that would be bad and wrong...after all, that would be illegal - wonder how folks look for one...LOL

RB


[/ QUOTE ]

You mean they aren't in your phone books?

whiskeytown
11-05-2004, 11:26 AM
I dunno man....I go to pages like this and I just shake my head and go no way....

http://www.ci.stpaul.mn.us/depts/police/prostitution_photos_current.html

better to find the horny college sorority girl instead. Some of those ladies are vomitous...(one cute one in there, but who knows...probably a crack whore too) -

now, on the other hand, any of you guys wanna take me out to the ranch in NV, I'm golden...LOL

RB

HesseJam
11-05-2004, 11:51 AM
[ QUOTE ]
I dunno man....I go to pages like this and I just shake my head and go no way....

http://www.ci.stpaul.mn.us/depts/police/prostitution_photos_current.html


RB

[/ QUOTE ]

What do you mean? That Tiana Nicole Eady and the other, Heather Marie Laven, look doable to me.

Beerfund
11-05-2004, 01:05 PM
All girls are sluts you just have to bring it out. So hit on every girl you see and be very blunt, a simple "Wanna fukc?" should do. And since you seem pretty desperate don't be picky and you'll get the sticky /images/graemlins/wink.gif

rloftin
11-05-2004, 01:09 PM
WHY

Iplayragstoo
11-05-2004, 01:15 PM
I have heard of this method as well....its probably an urban legend, but this is what I heard...

You go to a busy nightclub, you go to every single girl in there as long as they don't have guys on there arms, and ask each one if they wanna go fck /images/graemlins/laugh.gif 99% will tell you to go fck yourself, but theres always that one.... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

snakehead
11-05-2004, 01:18 PM
why doesn't my computer show the pictures? in answer to your question, if you want something you have to ask for it.

M2d
11-05-2004, 01:19 PM
Your last thread involved jonesing to go to vegas. put two and two together (2+2?) and solve both of your problems.

onegymrat
11-05-2004, 02:23 PM
Call the old stuff, chicks you've had before. It's not too awkward, since you've been there and they know what you're leading to. Tell them you've been "thinking" about them and wondering how everything is going. Then ask then to dinner, yada, yada. Waalaa, pipes are clean!

ElSapo
11-05-2004, 02:37 PM
The guy on oxygen is just awesome.

deacsoft
11-05-2004, 08:33 PM
I have found the best girls when I haven't been looking. Like with poker, patience pays off.

liquidboss
11-05-2004, 08:41 PM
[ QUOTE ]
(and no, getting girls drunk will NOT work - I'm trying to avoid that crap myself)

[/ QUOTE ]

Here is your problem, the vast majority of girls need to be drunk to have sex with strangers. If you don't get them drunk you are looking at a few weeks of work to get laid. Your time is much better spent playing poker or anything other than spending time trying to woo a slut.

mplspoker
11-05-2004, 10:45 PM
Success breads success. If you are already hanging out with hot chicks other girls will assume that they should get to know you - if you aren't they will assume that there is a reason why you aren't. There is nothing that girls like more than a guy with a good looking girlfriend. First you have to get to that point, then everything else falls into place. It took me til about my junior year in college to figure this out. I almost always at least go to the bars with good looking chicks (not neccessarily planning on hooking up with them, but using them as bait for other chicks) It creates a whirlwind effect. The hardest step is to get the ball rollling - once it's going it's unlimited good looking women if done right.

The other option is to go to the bars with a bunch of dudes, and try to hook up with top end chicks - very difficult for almost everybody.

my two cents.

whiskeytown
11-05-2004, 11:50 PM
you're right...

one of the hottest women I ever met I met when sitting with my coworkers after work one evening. One of them is a tall mom with 3 kids but she looks very good, and I think the cute blonde just gravitated to our table when she realized my coworker was just that... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

but I got super drunk and now we work diff. shifts...now I know no hot women....<sob>

I'm pathetic...I watch backstreet boy videos cause i know there will be hot booty in them....I watch Britney Spears videos with the sound down and she's trailer trash -

I'm a loser, baby. /images/graemlins/mad.gif

RB

liquidboss
11-06-2004, 12:17 AM
[ QUOTE ]
I'm a loser, baby.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well now I see the real problem, you need some confidence. Hot women generally have low self esteem. They are attention whores who need confident men doting over them in order to feel good about themselves. No one can teach you how to get hot women, but the best general advice anyone can give is to grow some balls and BE CONFIDENT!!! If you can't do that get em drunk like I said before. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

Oh, and listen to Tom Leykis if you want more info. I have got more tail since I found his radio show than I ever did before.

Bob T.
11-06-2004, 02:32 AM
It seems to me that if you decide to go the escort route, you should stay away from frogtown.

whiskeytown
11-06-2004, 03:32 AM
nearly got shot in that part of town one time....you could probably get a meth high breathing in the air around there...

worst friggen neighborhood in Mpls.

RB

Andy B
11-07-2004, 03:12 AM
What a wonderful site. I had forgotten about it. In mid-2000, a guy I knew at work managed to get his picture on there. What a mope. I love how they say, "all persons are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law," but we're going to put your picture on the internet for the whole f'in world to see in the meantime.

tripdad
11-07-2004, 02:25 PM
some friends and i used to go "hoggin'". we actually placed bets on who could lay pipe to the fattest girl that night.

if it's just a lay you want, go to the grocery store and strike up a conversation with a fat girl. smile at her. this is at least 50% successful in my experience, in getting laid same day.

cheers!

MicroBob
11-08-2004, 02:03 AM
[ QUOTE ]
They are attention whores who need confident men doting over them in order to feel good about themselves. No one can teach you how to get hot women, but the best general advice anyone can give is to grow some balls and BE CONFIDENT!!!

[/ QUOTE ]


Ding Ding Ding!!
That's a winner!!

I would add being funny in there as well.

Typically I think this includes being relatively intelligent.....but women who aren't sharp enough to get my jokes don't stay attractive to me for very long anyway.
I'm pretty silly and far from Dennis Miller-type intellectual humour so if they don't get what I'm saying and/or aren't the type to occasionally smile then I'm not going to be interested anyway.


A couple good tricks might include making fun of a mutual acquaintance or just someone in general. It has to be done in a fun way though
"I think Bill is great...really. But that whole pull-the-tube-socks-all-the-way-up with tight-tight shorts thing really frightens me."
Then somehow stick with the joke if it works. I think we somehow evolved it to some imaginary planet where there are millions of Bill's who all wear pulled-up tube-socks and tight-tight shorts.


I broke the ice with another girl by asking her if she thought the red-neck dude across the bar looked like Jeff Foxworthy (he was dead-on Foxworthy). Made fun of the chest-hair portruding from the unbuttoned-look, etc etc.
Eventually made a point to go up to "my good friend Jeff" over there and just started talking to him.
She was laughing so hard and I was golden.


I'm 34, 5'6" and 175 lbs and am kinda bald on top.
I'm not exactly ugly but the fact that I can get ANYONE to lay me is not an insignificant accomplishment imo.
I look like a short and heavier version of Nicholas Cage kind of.
I'm not exactly Mel Gibson or Colin Farrell (or whatever famous guys are supposed to be kind of hot....I really don't know).


In this game, your insecurities are pretty much your downfall so kinda pretend they don't exist (or when you acknowledge them it has to be kinda funny).


I shudder to think of some of the opportunities that passed me by when I was busy being less confident (pretty much 25 or 26 years old and younger).
Two girls I can think of named Lisa and Erin were easily mine for the taking if I just would have stopped being such a freaking, unconfident dweeb.

To use a poker analogy....you can be a good player PF, flop and turn....but you can't neglect you play on the river as well. Many a winning-hand can be screwed-up on the river.....and finishing the deal can take a certain degree of finesse.


One final idea.....be less selective for now if the opportunity 'arises' (ha-ha...I'm so punny!!!). Just get back in the game...after that the future might be pretty good.

IlliniRyRy
11-08-2004, 01:14 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Step up to the plate and swing for the fences. One of the greatest homerun hitters of all time, Babe Ruth also has the strike out record.

[/ QUOTE ]

Greatest. Analogy. Ever.

This works so well. The key to gettin laid is to try a bunch of times. The hardest part of getting to know someone is walking up to them and saying hello.

beerbandit
11-09-2004, 01:28 PM
any luck yet whiskey?

when you discover the most effective strategy let me know also, i just broke up with my old lady after three years and i need some booty. oh yeah it has to be with minimal effort im pretty damn lazy.

cheers
beer

whiskeytown
11-10-2004, 03:08 AM
I am in the process of trying to connect with a girl I knew last yr. - we dated for a bit and didn't follow thru with it cause I was going thru come crap...

actually, let me rephrase...I wrote a drunk email to her wanting to meet up and try again, and she said she'd get back to me when she got back from Vegas... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

ah well...I could stand to lose a few pounds before worrying about it....maybe I'll go up to the treadmill for awhile.

RB

Sponger15SB
11-10-2004, 04:42 AM
hey whiskey i thought you were through with the drunken (insert any action here)?

/images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/mad.gif

whiskeytown
11-10-2004, 05:08 AM
whiskey slips from time to time - did good for 2 months....wiped out for one, now trying to last till the end of this yr.

RB

deacsoft
11-10-2004, 08:01 AM
[ QUOTE ]
...cause I was going thru come crap...


[/ QUOTE ]

Not sure if this is a type o or a sigmund slip. If the second, I hope she's getting back from vegas soon.

whiskeytown
11-10-2004, 08:11 AM
typo...you sick [censored]

tried to edit it two hrs. later, but was past the editing point...worst mistype ever. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

RB

deacsoft
11-10-2004, 08:29 AM
lmao /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif

ftball0000
11-11-2004, 12:33 PM
mplspoker, microbob and liquidboss are giving you the correct advice here.

Be a tad bit arrogant, be playful, be outgoing, if she starts touching you (on your arm, etc.), then you are well on your way. Act like you own the place and remember that she is the lucky one being with you, you are the prize and have higher value.

Hope this helps and good luck, even though it's not about luck,

-Ftball

tek
11-11-2004, 03:59 PM
A 'funny and cocky' approach often works. See www.tuckermax.com (http://www.tuckermax.com) for ideas. You don't have to push the envelope as he does (plus he admits to exagerating).

But the point is women like slightly bad guys to boy scouts.
And as others have said, confidence is key.

And a big point I'd like to make is desperation repels. Banks loan money to people who don't need it, not people who need groceries to stay alive. How about jobs? Easier to get one when you have one and want to move up than when you are on the outs.

Same with women. Desperation registers on their Hard Up Radar quickly.

If you are desperate, you need to use Bluffing skills to overcome it. Smooth betting when the third flush card hits the board when you've got crap ad taking the pot kind of bluffing.

Jobs, women, etc are easier if you come off like you can take it or leave it.

tek
11-11-2004, 04:05 PM
By the way, good call on not getting a hooker. My son used to work with a guy who is on the KQ Pimps and Ho's List.

Not a good way to go...

kiemo
11-12-2004, 05:24 PM
[ QUOTE ]
nearly got shot in that part of town one time....you could probably get a meth high breathing in the air around there...

worst friggen neighborhood in Mpls.

RB

[/ QUOTE ]

You were in the wrong hood man.

Frogtown is in St. Paul. University Ave between Lexington and Rice.

James282
11-12-2004, 05:52 PM
Is your avatar a picture of yourself? Just curious.
-James

whiskeytown
11-12-2004, 09:37 PM
I was working at the strip mall on University and Rice

as a security guard...an unarmed one....lucky I didn't die...quit after 2 weeks -

RB

eastbay
11-12-2004, 09:41 PM
lmao...Schroeder, Mary Frances. Is she dumping herself the moment the photo was snapped?

eastbay

collegeplayer1
11-13-2004, 08:00 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Doesn't have to be for life ever after - just a couple week fling is fine - no problem -

I just need to get back in the ball game for a time - a short time even - - see if I still remember how to hit the ball -

suggestions? - Ideas? - (and no, getting girls drunk will NOT work - I'm trying to avoid that crap myself) - Escorts, well, we all know that would be bad and wrong...after all, that would be illegal /images/graemlins/wink.gif - wonder how folks look for one...LOL

RB

[/ QUOTE ]