1. "Wow, this forum is awesome! Everyone talking poker and stuff. I'll post some hands and see what people think."
2. "Screw these guys. They think they know everything. Well how come I'm winning so much then? Hunh? Position shmosition!"
3. "Damn these guys are all pessimists. I say if you can't run over a 6-12 game while half-asleep, you're a total monkey, IMHO."
4. "Ok, maybe I need to be open to new ideas."
5. "Variance is a bitch. This game is practically all luck. I'm going to make a post titled: 'luck vs. skill'."
6. "I want to hear from the forum experts about all the considerations that come into play when defending the big blind against an open-raiser in the cutoff when you hold A3o, J9s, and 44."
7. "I found this news group about poker but all they do is either fight or bitch about how much they hate 2+2. I don't get it."
8. "I'll never fold on the river again."
9. "I need to stop paying off the river bets."
10. "I'll never fold on the river again."
11. "That Tommy Angelo character sure has some strange ideas about how to play poker."
12. "What is this no-limit stuff? Mason says in Poker Essays Vol II, which I've read 14 times, that it's a piece of cake. You simply bet enough so they can't call you on a draw. How hard is that?"
13. "The chances that I'll draw out plus the chances that he's bluffing plus the chances that he'll fold a better hand add up 122%, so I should raise in this spot."
14. "I wonder if Paradise Poker really is owned by the mafia. You never know."
15. "Look at this post! A pre-flop question? Gimme a break. If you haven't figured out preflop by now, forget it."
16. "Jesus Christ, I just don't have the patience to read through yet another post on how to play AK after you miss the flop in a three-way pot in middle position."
17. "You know, that Tommy Angelo character is starting to make sense."
18. "Look, play whatever hand you want, however you want, in any position you want. I really don't care. You'll either figure it out or you won't."
19. "I'll never talk strategy or specifics with anyone again as long as I live."
20. "I'm going to post this hand from last night cause it's so damn funny what happened. These guys will get a kick out of it."
21. "awww screw it i think ill just go fishin in mopntana and throw away my worthliss spell chekcer besides punctuation is for suckers, i dont have the time or inclination; to discuss poker anymore"