Vegas trip report (Too long, don't read)

[Acesover8s]

Down in Las Vegas, Nevada, on a quaint little street named fremont there is a casino. It may be called Mermaids, there is little to remember about this place other than the smell of week old fryer oil and body odor. You will notice this casino by the video outside proclaiming the splendor of the Deep-fried twinkies within. To me, deep-fried twinkies are the perfect metaphor for our beloved Las Vegas in our beloved United States. Clearly, twinkies are about the worst thing you can put into your body, yet in Vegas, twinkies are not enough, they must be deep-fried and covered in powdered sugar and chocolate sprinkles in order to satisfy.

This is what I thought about on my first walk into Binions Horseshoe casino on the 2nd of May. I had already played some $2-$4 holdem at the casino I was staying at, and when my open-raise with 95 met a flop of 995 I knew this year would be a good one for me at the tables.

I wandered through the tables to the satellite area. Dear god has poker gotten popular, almost every table is full, chips everywhere, no one is smiling. I try to get a satellite going for the upcoming HORSE tournament, but the floorperson quickly talks me into playing a $275 NLHE
satellite.

Chris Moneymaker is at the table next to me, he looks good like hes lost some weight.

I am the youngest player at my table by far, the player to my right, who may or may not be named Oldy Olderson must be 100 years old. I'm playing well. Very tight. I steal the blinds once. I get queens and reraise a raiser, get another pot, I am the chipleader. Then a player who seems very weak-tight (I know, we can smell our own) opens with a smallish raise under the gun. I call a few spots later with 47 sooted. The flop comes J62 rainbow. He bets the pot and I call. The turn pairs the 2. He checks, I bet 1/2 the pot and he mucks. I feel good!

The blinds go up again and now everyone is short stacked. Oldy limps UTG, I make it 400 or so to go with AdJd. Only Oldy calls. The flop comes Q97 with two diamonds. Oldy checks, I bet all in and he thinks and thinks and calls, showing JT off. The king comes on the turn and I'm crippled. I go all in on my blind two hands later. Flop bottom pair, some idiot bets out to protect my hand, everyone folds and he shows King high. A king comes on the turn again to end my first satellite.

Suddenly, I hate poker and I hate Binions. I hate that old man. I hate people who make bad calls in tournaments, although I know I should love them. I know I should follow this guy to the next satellite but instead I put my name on every list in the casino and walk out.

The girlfriend and I take a trip out to the strip and walk it. Of course, we pick the week that its 95-100 everyday. Gallons of water are consumed. We have a good time seeing the sites, playing some craps, blackjack, and slots.

We finally stop at Excalibur when my girlfriend's feet are hurting, we find the $1-$3 holdem game and decide we're going to play every hand blind. This is easy for her since she is playing with my money. Unfortunately we get seated at seperate tables, she plays solid and makes some money.
I post in MP, raise dark, everyone calls. Flop comes A-high with two spades. SB leads out at me, I raise in the blind. Only he calls. The turn is another spade. He bets, I look at my hand, black queens, yeah, what a great blind hand. I raise again. He calls. The river is a brick. We check, his Ace-Joker is good.

I get moved to the NL game. While it was certainly not the No-limit game I was looking for with the $1-$2 blinds and min/max buyin of $100, it was still a good game. Lots of limpers, lots of players making bad calls. I double up with AK against KT. Then I double up again when I make
some other hand, I don't remember it, because I was on my 6th beer. Decently run room though, very friendly players and staff. Good games if you want to play very small.

Later I try to make it back to the shoe to get a HORSE satellite going. Nobody wants to play. For four hours I ask them to page it, we finally get four players interested. Some of them are asking what HORSE is, should be good. Then 3 more players show up. 1 is a player I recognized but couldn't place a name to his face. He was quick to mention that he had a bracelet in Razz. To my left gets seated Mel Judah, who begins passing out affiliate information to another player at the table and tells him to be sure he uses Mels code or name or whatever. I hope Mel uses that $50 wisely.

The structure in this tournament is even worse than in the NLHE satellites. 1000 in TC, 15-25 blinds to start, doubling every 15 minutes and then switching games. I play two hands in the holdem section, one is Aces which lose to TJ and the other is Kings which I fold on an ace high flop. The omaha section comes and I cant get a hand to play. By the time we get to razz I am the shortest of the short stacks, I get a 358 and go all in, my full house would be good for high by the river. I'm out.

I hate Binions. I hate Horse. I hate poker.

Maybe I'm not good enough to do this. It seems so easy at home.

I sit down at a $5-$10 PLO game. Here's a game I understand. I sit down with $1000 in cash, I have more behind after I see if the game is any good or not. It's not. Never in my life have I seen the blinds stolen in a live PLO game. Rarely online, but never live. I quit after 3 orbits.

So, I decide to attempt one of the $50 satellites to the super-satellites. I put my money down and 30 minutes later me and a very nice kid with a southern accent take 1st and second (both receive a $225 seat). I take an hour off, get something to drink and check in with the girlfriend.

So, now I'm up in the bullpen. The format is a $225 supersatellite with $200 rebuys and a $200 or $400 addon after the first break. Blinds are 25-25 and you get 1500 in chips. I get no hands and stay pretty even through the first hour. Several players buyin multiple times, a few others you can tell wouldn't rebuy with monopoly money.

I survive the break and come back to see two players get knocked out and replaced with Barry Shulman and Berry Johnston. Shulman has a truckload of chips and is limping in most hands and betting big at a lot of flops. I cant wait to see some showdowns to see what he has. All too soon I will get my wish. I am shorstacked and decide to get aggressive. I steal a few blinds and limps, then I get doubled through twice when my Ace-high allins get called by king highs. Then Shulman opens with a raise to 3x the blinds in EP. I find 77 in the small blind, my FIRST pair of the tournament, and I move in. He quickly calls, and I throw up in my mouth, just a little bit. He has Aces and I'm out about 10 spaces from the money.

I walk out of the tournament room and think about how stupid I am. I am just like all these other guys with $50 and a hope. I am playing MY cards.

[censored] poker.

My good pal Limon tells me the best NLHE games are out at the Palms. So, being that I planned on staying downtown I did not rent a car, so getting to the palms involves taking the 301 bus to the Barbary Coast. Then taking the tram from the Barbary Coast to the Gold Coast. Then walking across the street to the palms. I am 100% certain that there is an easier way to do this, but my way was convoluted and allowed time for drinking.

So the Palms is wierd. Hardwood floors in a casino? Cocktail waitresses that are attractive? Bizarre. Anyway, there are two poker rooms, the regular and the high limit room. Tonight, the high limit room consists of $6-$12 and the $2-$5 NL game. Not since planet poker have I seen $6-
$12 referred to as high limit. Anyway, I get a seat in the NL game, and its tight, very tight, we are all stealing the blinds. Limon tricked me, the bastard. I make about $10 before I move to the other NL game. This game is a little better, but I'm drinking. I have decided that I am
raising preflop every hand I am going to play. I am making it $25-$40 to go every hand I play and picking up a lot of pots on the flop. When this hand comes up. . . A warning, I played this hand so bad they may never let me post in the NL forum again. I cannot explain why I played
it so bad, only that I did, alcohol may have been a factor. . .

3 limpers to me on the button and I make it $40 to go with AdQd. An asian gentleman in the SB says "You raise everytime its your button, I been watching you, I call." Everyone else folds. Flop comes 447. He checks and I check. The turn brings another 7. He bets $50. I reach deep and pull out enough chips to raise, but I just call, I do not look at him while I do this, so there is no cause for it. Did I mention there is a chick at the $6-$12 game with huge knockers? No? Well, there is. So, I call. The river pairs the 4. He thinks and thinks and thinks and bets
$100. I call, playing the board. His pocket QQ drags the pot. I laugh and say "Jacks".

Demoralized again. I hate poker. I hate the palms. Why do their tables have this linoleum tile [censored] around the edges that makes it impossible to pick up your cards without leaving them halfway across the table?

I get up and treat my family to dinner at Garduno's. Good, cheap, Mexican food, good live music, highly recommended.

I get up at 3pm the next day and head to Bellagio. Oh, I stop at India Oven first on Sahara, great food, yum.

I have never won in Bellagio. And while I love the poker room here, I am a touch apprehensive. I get seated immediately in a $15-$30 game. Every single player appears solid. They all have sunglasses, cardroom caps, they shuffle their chips and handle their cards with ease. After about 2 hours I realize something, players in vegas know all the moves, and they look the part, but they
don't play the game. Either they don't know what they are doing or they think they play so well postflop that they can call raises with hands like J6s. Then they all take a card off on the flop and fold on the turn. I don't get many cards, but I steal a few blinds and bet at a lot of
flops, I leave $200 up. Finally, a winner!

I go over to the Sahara to play the $40 NLHE tournament. Good stack sizes for the blinds, lots of clueless players, but unfortunately its 12 players at a table. It stars off with 150 of so players, I'm playing okay, not getting much in terms of cards, raising a lot preflop. Then my QQ runs into AA and I get knocked out 8 places before the money.

I find a +EV videopoker machine and plunk $800 in before I give up on trying to hit the royal flush. The $15 I get back in comps is bittersweet.

The next day I go to the Golden Nugget and play their $125 satellite. I ask them what its a satellite for and he says "nothin", apparently you just get the money, but you can make deals, so its a choose your own payout sit-n-go I guess. I'm playing okay, get unlucky a few times but then
start moving in a lot and stealing blinds when this hand comes up. UTG limps in. Its folded back to me in the SB and I move in with A9. UTG says "I know I shouldn't call. . . I call" He turns over QJ and QJ3 ends my hopes and the Ace on the river just stings.

Back to Binions, I get a seat in $5-$10 PLO again. Later I find out that (much more successful) 2+2er Paluka is sitting across the table from me. I play supertight, win one pot and then get called for $20-$40.

The $20-$40 features a bunch of chip-shuffling poker pro-types with 3 racks or so in front of them. I pocket my cash that I had on the PLO game and sit down with a stack of green and stack of red. For once everything goes right. In two hours I turn my $600 into $1900 while never making a hand stronger than 1 pair. The girlfriend comes over and we leave the game. Out to the strip for dinner and fun.

We head back and I remember how much I love poker, its so much fun. I love to bet and raise, especially on the turn, when you can slide out lots of chips, and watch your opponents face as it changes when he realizes you're not JUST calling.

So she goes to bed and I head back to the Nugget and get seated in a tight $10-$20 game that features one player who is playing and raising every hand and I'm getting nothing to isolate him. Across the room is a big 10k PL game with Doyle and Gus Hansen. I ask the floor if its PLHE or PLO
and he points at the "10K" next to the list to let me know that I am considerably too poor to play in it. The game starts to break and I get up to go, and head back to my hotel. I decide I'm going to play some $1-$5 stud when I get there since I haven't played live stud in a long time.
Unfortunately, "Fran" is on the list ahead of me and I don't think any of these TOMS are going anywhere.

The girlfriend and I take one last trip downtown and decide to have try the Deep-fried twinkies. They taste like extra-crispy donuts, but then after you finish them the burnt grease flavor coats your mouth and nothing can wash it down.

I end this trip stuck $1000 which isn't so bad, considering I got to have the twinkie I was waiting a year for.

[Vehn]

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The next day I go to the Golden Nugget and play their $125 satellite. I ask them what its a satellite for and he says "nothin"

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[J_V]

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I am the youngest player at my table by far, the player to my right, who may or may not be named Oldy Olderson must be 100 years old. I'm playing well. Very tight. I steal the blinds once. I get queens and reraise a raiser, get another pot, I am the chipleader. Then a player who seems very weak-tight (I know, we can smell our own) opens with a smallish raise under the gun. I

[/ QUOTE ]

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I find a +EV videopoker machine and plunk $800 in before I give up on trying to hit the royal flush. The $15 I get back in comps is bittersweet.


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He bets $50. I reach deep and pull out enough chips to raise, but I just call, I do not look at him while I do this, so there is no cause for it. Did I mention there is a chick at the $6-$12 game with huge knockers? No? Well, there is. So, I call.

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Great post. Oldy Olderson...hahahahahaha

[ElSapo]

The best thing about the fried twinkee casino is that the video billboard advertising it was apparently shot by a porn star in the mid-80s.

Great trip report.

ElSapo

[RiverMel]

"...the player to my right, who may or may not be named Oldy Olderson ..."

LOL

[offTopic]

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The best thing about the fried twinkee casino is that the video billboard advertising it was apparently shot by a porn star in the mid-80s.

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Just to clarify, you mean THE mid-80s, and not HER mid-80s, right?

[Legend27]

"I put my name on every list in the casino and walk out."

I just had to laugh at that.