#1
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I am retarded
I hate flies
fly lands on me I strike full speed at fly I miss I realize fly had landed on now smashed crotch I puke as nuts climb into my stomach [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] |
#2
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Re: I am retarded
One morning I wake up and my arm is completely numb. I raise my arm over my head but can't hold it up and my arm smacks me across the nose, nose bleeds.
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#3
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Re: I am retarded
A friend I have constantly sits on his nuts. At least your mishap was a freak accident, his is a habit.
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#4
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Re: I am retarded
I think I win.
I'm playing neutral EV roulette with a plastic roulette wheel I have at home against a friend where 0 means spin again. I make a bet with him that if the ball lands on red he has to give another friend who is coming round a full, wet kiss on the lips and if it's black I do. I say "ahahha sucker, we never agreed that I had to spin the wheel first," and try to put the ball down on red on the stationary wheel. I put it on black. |
#5
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Re: I am retarded
[ QUOTE ]
I think I win. I'm playing neutral EV roulette with a plastic roulette wheel I have at home against a friend where 0 means spin again. I make a bet with him that if the ball lands on red he has to give another friend who is coming round a full, wet kiss on the lips and if it's black I do. I say "ahahha sucker, we never agreed that I had to spin the wheel first," and try to put the ball down on red on the stationary wheel. I put it on black. [/ QUOTE ] awesome |
#6
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Re: I am retarded
I leave work at 5:00pm in Dallas.
I get home at 5:45pm and lay down on the couch. I fall asleep. I wake up. The clock shows 7:15. I yell [censored] and rush to shower and get dressed. I speed and arrive at work at 7:58. 12 hours early! Steve |
#7
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Re: I am retarded
[ QUOTE ]
I leave work at 5:00pm in Dallas. I get home at 5:45pm and lay down on the couch. I fall asleep. I wake up. The clock shows 7:15. I yell [censored] and rush to shower and get dressed. I speed and arrive at work at 7:58. 12 hours early! Steve [/ QUOTE ] classic. get east and west confused huh? |
#8
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Re: I am retarded
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I leave work at 5:00pm in Dallas. I get home at 5:45pm and lay down on the couch. I fall asleep. I wake up. The clock shows 7:15. I yell [censored] and rush to shower and get dressed. I speed and arrive at work at 7:58. 12 hours early! Steve [/ QUOTE ] classic. get east and west confused huh? [/ QUOTE ] If I had not been in such a rush I would have looked around and noticed. I also was listening to CDs in the car so I did not even wonder what happened to the Morning Show. Steve |
#9
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Re: I am retarded
[ QUOTE ]
I think I win. I'm playing neutral EV roulette with a plastic roulette wheel I have at home against a friend where 0 means spin again. I make a bet with him that if the ball lands on red he has to give another friend who is coming round a full, wet kiss on the lips and if it's black I do. I say "ahahha sucker, we never agreed that I had to spin the wheel first," and try to put the ball down on red on the stationary wheel. I put it on black. [/ QUOTE ] LOL, nice "accident." |
#10
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Re: I am retarded
I grab a roach with a napkin while yakking on the phone. I do the routine squish, but am not paying attention, and get a face full of roach guts.
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