Rodney Dangerfield died today

[ThaSaltCracka]

Please post your favorite Dangerfield joke.

This guy use to crack me up, hilarious comedian.

[ThaSaltCracka]

"When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother"

[CCass]

My wife told me I was getting old. I said that I am like a fine wine, I keep getting better with age, so she locked me in the cellar.

[ThaSaltCracka]

you know, the best thing about his jokes is they take 5 seconds at the most to say, and they were always funny. Comedians today should really follow his example, no swearing, but still dirty. He was a totally underrated comedian IMO.


"I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes. And I tell ya I got no confidence in the pilot. When he makes a left turn he puts his hand out."

[wayabvpar]

I always remember the only funny line in Ladybugs (just a terrible soccer movie)-

"All I know is- I got a lotta balls!"

And the classics from Caddyshack-

"Hey everyone! We're all gonna get laid!"

"Did somebody step on a duck?"

[andyfox]

This is your pilot. I have good news and bad news. The bad news is we're hopelessly lost. The goods news is we're way ahead of schedule.

[andyfox]

I tell ya, my wife's a bad cook. How bad? The flies pitched in to fix the holes in the screens. My son had alphabet soup, he spelled out "HELP." Waffles shouldn't have bones, should they?

And she sleeps around on me. I bought a used car, we found her bra in the glove box. At a restaurant I toasted her, "To the best woman a man ever had." Sixteen other guys joined me.

[andyfox]

I get no respect, I tell ya, no respect. When I get into an elevator, the elevator operator says, "Basement?"

[ThaSaltCracka]

Oh, when I was a kid, everyone thought I got plenty of girls. I used to go to a drive-in movie and do push-ups in the backseat of my car.


Oh, when I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler with me. Yeah, just in case I have to prove something.


Oh, this girl was fat, when she walks backward, she starts beeping. I mean, fat. She asked me why my eyes were bulging, I told her, "You're standing on my foot!"

[andyfox]

She used to wear a white dress and we'd show movies on her. She thought I loved her because I rolled towards her when she got into bed.

-The man knew a lot of jokes. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]