elevators

[Tommy Angelo]

One could say that something even as strange as professional football is the natural extension of a species that is very good at finding ways of defining a rigid pecking order without killing each other, that also happens to provide a comforting transference of achievement and failure. No wonder sports are so popular.

Darwinism could have foreseen all that, had it gotten here first. So too could it predict skyscrapers, as the natural product of the same process that brought beaver dams.

But inside the skyscraper resides something that Darwin could not predict, and nature could not prepare us for. To stand in a moving box for 30 seconds with a stranger. I can imagine a gene that appears to be "for" throwing a football. I can picture a genes "for" using tools, and for adding to existing technology. But I cannot picture a gene for staring at the numbers until the door opens.


Tommy

[nicky g]

The Borgata lifts have plasma screens showing movies. They're superfluous however, as the speed of the lifts is entertaining enough by itself (try bending your knees as they accelerate).

[Big Mo]

[ QUOTE ]
The Borgata lifts have plasma screens showing movies. They're superfluous however, as the speed of the lifts is entertaining enough by itself (try bending your knees as they accelerate).

[/ QUOTE ]

I love bending my knees baby!

[Joe Tall]

Being 6'7", I've stopped many group conversation on an elevator. Such as the loud, Vegas, going-out on the town elavator group.

Pure Darwinism.

I wrote paper in college about elevator society. It's quite unique.

Peace,
Joe Tall

[CrackerZack]

You shouldn't be allowed in elevators.

[Ed Miller]

In the US, elevator rides with strangers are awkward moments of abrupt contemplation.

In Austria, elevator rides with strangers are abrupt moments of awkward conversation.

[MicroBob]

elevator behavious cracks me up.

[Oski]

[ QUOTE ]
elevator behavious cracks me up.

[/ QUOTE ]

1. No talking; (except for calling your floor)
2. (of course) no cell phone;
3. No direct eye contact;
4. No smiling or giggling to oneself;
5. Always maintain spacial integrity;
6. For god sakes, no passing gas;
7. Do not say goodbye, or anything while exiting;
8. At most, do a feeble wave or head nod to others you know;
9. No kissing (for couples) or overt signs of affection;
10. No audible eating or gum chewing.
11. No crackling of papers or spreading your news paper
12. Do not bring hot food, or any food with an odor on the elevator (especially open bags of Doritos or bananas)

That should cover it.

I follow these, by the way. There is plenty of time to be myself once I exit the elevator. Nothing worse than being stranded by a 30 second stand-up comedy act.

[Joe Tall]

Oski,

You forgot one major one:

0. Turn and face the door immediately upon entrance.

Peace,
Joe Tall

[hutz]

Some harmless, fun alternatives to "the rules":

1. In a really odd voice, call out the floors as you pass them.

2. Carry on a conversation with yourself that degenerates into an argument (no yelling, of course, but hitting yourself is optional).

3. When on an elevator that is headed downwards, hop up and down and explain that the rest of the people are going to regret not doing the same thing because, if the elevator breaks free and crashes, you'll be the sole survivor if you happen to have hopped into the air just before the car crashes into the ground.

4. Turn to the person next to you and say "How 'bout those [insert name of professional team from another city in a sport that is not in season]?!" Example: It's April and you're in St. Louis -- "How 'bout those Packers?!"

5. If you're in an elevator with just one other person, open your umbrella and hold it over your head.

6. Turn and face the back of the car.

7. Say "Oh no, a [insert manufacturer of elevator car here]! I swore I'd never ride in one of these again after what happened to that poor couple in Cleveland." just as you are arriving at your floor.