HELP!!! cant explain this

The one person who said to keep records and use them to defend yourself had a good point. At the least it *might* make those close to you worry less. They care about you, and they don't understand it, so they worry. Understanding why they say things to you is helpful in countering all the negativity. Know that they worry out of love and it will help you find a way to make them worry less. Note they will always worry, but records can make them worry less.


As someone who has gambled since he was young, I can tell you safely that many around you will simply never ever understand. I was talking to my Mom the other day. She knows I play poker every day right now. As background, my father recently retired early, then went back to work because he was bored. Here is a rough sketch of the conversation, and remember, she has known that I gamble for fifteen years:


Mom: Why do you do keep playing poker?

Me: Because I like it, and I make good money at it.

Mom: I'm worried that you are addicted. (Baggins, you will get this one a LOT)

Me: No Mom. It is just something I like to do. You go to Church every day. You like it. I don't understand it. But I don't say you are addicted. Dad went back to work because he couldn't stand being retired. I could easily contend that he is addicted to working. It's the same thing. People do things they ENJOY to pass the time. Everyone does something each day. People like different things. Mom, I make money at this. I like it. Its fun, its social, its healthy. Yes, I said healthy.


Mom: I guess I can accept that. As long as you are getting out and about and eating right.


Me: I eat at the $20 Mirage buffet for dinner almost every day. I eat better than you do. It is simply what I enjoy doing right now. (conversation goes on and on for a bit in a similar vein)


Baggins, the point is that these people care about you. Gambling (poker) has a stigma that things like work and church and going to the movies don't have. There is nothing that you can do about it. You need to show records and make analogies. This girl has no clue what to say to her parents about where you spend your free time. She is embarassed about it. You need to educate her to make her understand, so she won't be embarassed telling others. And even then it might not be enough. I can tell you for sure that many people simply will never understand that this game is both entertaining and fun. Thats simply a function of our society.


If she doesn't ever understand, then I agree with the other posters who say you need to find someone else. You can't get into a relationship where the other person is embarassed by something you love to do. It will be a cancer. They will be angry you are embarassing them, and you will be angry that they make you feel guilty for no reason.


Your friends and family are a differnt story. You are stuck with them, LOL. Show them that it is simply a *part* of a well rounded life. 10 hours a week isn't a ton you know. It sounds like you have alot of other stuff going on. Point that out.


Hope this helps in some way......


Dave

doyle brunson said "what good is my money if i cannot gamble with it?..sounds like a smartass answer but it's true. hey i view poker, and gambling , as acceptable forms of adult play. i personally would not feel satisfied only gambling or playing poker, but that's up to the individual. what if you were a rock climber, spent massive money to visit key climbs, that's your business, how you allocate your resources...gl

8 to 5 she makes him quit, then dumps him jmho..gl

What is more important to you?


Your personal enjoyment of poker or the approval or your family?


The money you make playing poker or the chance to have a relationship with this girl?


Doing what you want or doing what other people want you to do?


No one here can give you the advice you want. There's no magic bullet that is going to make people understand that poker is a skill game that is fun. There's too much historical stigma built up.


So, take some time and decide whats a priority in your life. Do you want to fit in or do you want to live your own life?


Once you've made the decision, here's what you say to people.


Fit in: "You're absolutely right! Let me put on my white shirt and red tie and join the rat race right away!"


Own life: "That's your opinion. I'm happy with where my life is. I don't judge you, so please don't judge me."


If they continue to judge you, I'd advise you on a policy known as "next", as in looking at them and saying "NEXT!". In the case of this girl, the problem isn't poker...it's just poker right now.

And I thought I was the cynic. I say he should go for the girl and see what happens. If she wants him to dump a hobby he can dump her then. I think her position is not a real position and will change depending on how the relationship goes. I think you quoted Doyle below. Doyle also once said that it can be very expensive for a gambler to pass on a proposition that has a large upside and a controllable downside. He had a partner and they split up after Doyle wouldn't try a proposition against a guy who went off for big dollars at it.

no point in trying to figure it out---most people in our culture think of "gambling" on the same level as selling heroin to children.

yet every one of them contributes to their 401k, plays the lottery, or whatever.

(and if you are any good, your returns have outgained the market lately, if not you'd be broke now)


don't talk about it to people who aren't interested.

some people love to go to the movies. they don't care that it costs $8 and you walk out with nothing. its worth it to them.

the same is true for card players. some acutally justify LOSING money because they enjoy the comraderie, the escape, the fun, the excitement, WHATEVER.

point is, if you like doing it and its not ruining your life, depriving yourself of it makes no sense.


another thing i've noticed---you really shouldn't report wins or losses to anyone that doesn't play.

if you tell them you lost $x, they think you are someone with a gambling problem.

if you tell them you won, then you are supposed to pay for everything, right? and there is resentment. if your girlfriend works hard and makes 1/10 of what you can make in a night of cards, that CANNOT help things between you.


when someone asks, you tell them, "it was the weirdest thing, everybody won!"

do you ever say anything nice about anybody?

Get a life. Poker is for losers. And the fact that you dont keep records and don't even know how much you're up is pathetic.

"ill bet you any amount of money that at least one of those people plays the lottery." obviously that's because you have a gambling problem